


Stabbed

by kitty2292



Category: Madam Secretary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 10:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 53,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16324637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty2292/pseuds/kitty2292
Summary: Elizabeth is about to address the United Nations in the wake of the coup in Pakistan and the United States' successful Render Safe Mission.  But an assassination attempt derails her plans and send the staff into a panic over a potential loss when one of their own ends up in critical condition.  The aftermath proves a roller coaster ride of emotion and relationship adjustments.  Please Enjoy and as always, your feedback is so appreciated! ~ Kitty





	1. Chapter 1

"Ok," Elizabeth settled back into her seat and shoved her glasses onto her face as the car moved slowly through traffic. "Let's go over the details for this conference one more time."

"Yes ma'am," Nadine opened her bag and retrieved a folder with the Secretary's itinerary in it. "We are going to start with a few welcoming remarks from the Secretary General and then there will be a brief reception for lunch. We have blocked out some time for you to speak with the new foreign minister from Pakistan."

"Right," Elizabeth made a few notes on the talking points that Matt and Jay had put together for her for that meeting. "Pakistan wants to discuss the new government and transition from the old government."

"I think it will be tricky ma'am," Nadine warned. "With H.S. taking over after the coup and being tied to Abedi, there was a lot of violence. I don't think that Pakistan will be too anxious to make nice."

"Especially not since we went in and rounded up their entire nuclear arsenal," Elizabeth sighed. "Of course, that has made some of our other allies very happy."

"Yes ma'am," Nadine agreed warily. "Of course, following the main conference, the Russian foreign minister has asked for a brief meeting with you."

"Ha," Elizabeth's laugh was filled with sarcasm. "I'm sure they want to talk about Pakistan too. I still can't believe that they just pulled out of render safe that way."

"Russia," Nadine mused. "Are you happy with the remarks that Matt drafted for you to give at the main conference."

"Yeah," Elizabeth nodded and slid her own notes back into her bag. "They will do. I'll tell you Nadine, speaking before the general assembly is something that I am not sure I will ever get used to."

"Is that a bad thing," Nadine's voice was calm and even as she replaced her own notes in her bag.

"What do you mean," Elizabeth was puzzled by the question.

"How many people are going to have the opportunity in their life to speak there and more than once about issues that affect the fate of the entire world?" Nadine's voice was still steady and even as though she had scripted the entire exchange, a tone that was not lost on Bess.

"Wise words Nadine, as usual," she pulled her glasses off and shoved them in her pocket as her motorcade stopped outside the United Nations building in the middle of New York City. "Here we go," she took a deep stabilizing breath and waited for Frank, her security leader for the day to open her door. "Thanks Frank," she flashed her million dollar smile as she climbed out of the SUV.

There was a throng of people lining the walkway into the building. Some were obviously tourists just trying to catch a glimpse of someone, anyone, famous. Others were people coming out in support of the Secretary of State and her work. Some people were there to protest the conference which was supposed to focus on the issues facing the world in the wake of the Pakistani coup and the manner in which the resulting terrorist government had been taken down. It never ceased to amaze Elizabeth how many people would protest United States led bombings in middle eastern countries and how few showed up for other protests like ending world hunger or child trafficking. As far as she was concerned, a lot of people had very skewed priorities; not that she was regularly in favor of dropping bombs, but still. She was thinking this very thing over, strolling into this building as she had done before; she gave no thought to the people who were standing around yelling and paid little attention to the words they were yelling. Frank was to her left and the other members of her detail were in front of her, making sure that protesters stayed back. Nadine was behind her and without Bess's knowledge, she was scanning the crowd for familiar faces. In New York she occasionally ran across an old friend from her theater days and it was always in the oddest places. Suddenly her eye fell upon something strange. As the Secretary passed with her detail something shiny appeared in the hand of one of the protesters next to Frank.

Nadine turned to take a second look in time to see the man raise the knife and begin to run toward the Secretary. She was nearly even with his position on the opposite side of the walkway when she started to run, she had to get there. "Madam Secretary," she screamed. She briefly passed the man, dove forward and shoved her hands out into the Secretary's back taking Frank and the Secretary both by surprise. Then it happened, she felt searing pain in her shoulder as she began to fall forward.

Bess and Frank both turned as Bess caught Frank's arm to keep herself from falling. There was a man, he was behind Nadine. Bess and Frank realized at the same time that he had a knife, just as he plunged it into Nadine's shoulder as she fell forward. "Nadine," Bess screamed and moved toward her only to be grabbed by two of the other members of her detail while Frank leveled his gun at the deranged man. Bess could only resist as her detail dragged her inside the building and watch as the man plunged the knife into Nadine a second time after she fell before Frank fired his weapon shooting the man in the chest. "I need to get to her," she told her detail.

"Negative ma'am. You need to stay here. We are clearing the crowd and bringing the car up. We are heading out."

"Not without Nadine," she tried to keep her voice quiet but she felt like screaming. She was watching through a window as people swarmed around. Frank had secured the knife and was checking the man's pulse. Nadine was lying in the middle of the walkway, breathing hard but not moving. Then suddenly the SUV was in front of them blocking her view of Nadine and Frank.

"Madam Secretary get in," one of the detail pushed her through the door of the building and into the car. "Roger that," the door slammed shut behind her and the other side door opened. Frank pushed Nadine's limp body onto the seat and slammed the door. The car peeled away with lights flashing and the sirens of their police escort screaming off away from the United Nations building.


	2. Chapter 2

"Nadine," Bess pulled the barely conscious woman forward to examine her wounds. Blood was oozing from her blazer, obviously the wounds were deep. "She needs to get to a hospital now," Bess was yanking the blazer from Nadine's shoulders.

"Yes ma'am," the driver said as he regarded her quick work in the rearview mirror. "We are about five minutes out from Bellevue."

"Go faster," Bess balled up the blazer and shoved it against Nadine's back.

"Ah," Nadine screamed and fell into Bess's arms.

"You're gonna be ok Nadine," Bess's voice was filled with panic that she couldn't contain any longer. "Stay with me, hang on."

"I-it hu-hu-hurts," she stammered as she struggled to breathe and keep her eyes open.

"I know," Bess tried to be sympathetic. "Just try to focus on breathing. You are gonna be ok."

"Meet-ting," she forced out. "go."

"No," Elizabeth shook her head and shifted her body so that she could hold pressure and it would seem more like a hug. "I am not going to leave you like this. I am going to be right here when the doctor finishes with you."

Nadine stopped talking as the car sped through the New York City traffic. She kept her eyes open and tried to breathe, but it hurt. The arm with the injured shoulder was curled tight to her body and the other was laying haphazardly over top of the Secretary's. She took a strange kind of comfort in the feeling of the embrace, but her back burned and she could feel the blood running over her skin. She felt herself drifting, she was lightheaded. Bess held as tightly as she dared and tried to keep herself and Nadine steady even with the most jarring maneuvers of the SUV. She had to keep pressure, Nadine was losing so much blood. She had to do something, she had to help Nadine.

"Nadine," her voice was low and shaky. "You listen to me, you need to stay awake. Keep your eyes open. And you keep breathing, that's an order."

"Mmm," Nadine nodded. "Need to ask a favor," she managed to choke out.

"What is it," Bess gulped down her fear as the tears began to slide down her cheeks.

"R-Roman, tell him…" Nadine fought for breath before she kept going. "I-I love him."

"You are going to tell him yourself," Bess tried to sound confident.

Nadine nodded against the Secretary's arm. "Just- Just in case," she huffed. "And…I'm sorry I was m-mad," she began to heave heavy breaths betraying how much it was hurting her to breathe and try to talk.

"Fine," Bess was crying and Nadine could hear it though she couldn't see the Secretary's face. "But, you are going to be ok. You are going to have to say it yourself. Breathe Nadine. Breathe," Bess's voice was higher now and she was all but yelling through her tears as she managed to tighten her grip on Nadine. "Stay with me Nadine."

The car jarred to a stop under an ambulance bay and Elizabeth could see a gurney, a doctor, and several other people through the tinted window. Suddenly the doors flung open and members of her detail were on both sides. They pulled Nadine from her arms, blazer and all, and shoved her onto her back on the gurney. The doctors and nurses began talking to one another quickly as they wheeled her through the doors, assessing her condition as they went. Elizabeth couldn't make out everything they were saying over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears and Nadine's sharp and uneven breaths.

"I'm here," she shouted to Nadine as she scrambled from the car.

"Ma'am," Frank appeared from a second SUV. "Ma'am, we need to get you to a secure location."

"I am not leaving Nadine here," she glared at Frank and forced herself to wipe the tears from her eyes with her sleeve. "I am staying with her."

"Ma'am," Frank protested. "We already broke protocol to get her here because we were so close."

"This is not up for debate Frank," she growled. "Surely I am safe enough here, at a hospital."

Frank muttered something under his breath and then brought his coms mic, concealed in the sleeve of his blazer, to his mouth. "Secure the perimeter. Repeat secure the perimeter. Bluebird is staying, alert staff. Call for back-up."

Bess nodded and rushed through the doors of the hospital with Frank hot on her trail.


	3. Chapter 3

"Madam Secretary," one of the nurses who had been with Nadine outside stepped into Elizabeth's path and nearly got herself run over for her troubles.

"My chief of staff," Bess started as she slid to a stop on her heels and grasped her stomach when she realized she was out of breath and panting.

"Yes ma'am," the nurse cut her off. "We had to take her into surgery for the lower wound. She is in good hands."

"Will she be alright," Elizabeth prodded urgently as Frank loomed behind her. "Is she going to be ok?"

"I can't say," the nurse shook her head. "I don't know the extent of the damage and she has lost a lot of blood. She may need to be given more blood."

"Ok," Elizabeth looked puzzled that the nurse would emphasize this point. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Madam Secretary," the nurse tried to sound sure of herself. "Your chief of staff is AB-. Unfortunately, we don't have any such blood on hand. Now we can give her O- and her body will accept it but this often comes with complications and can lead to secondary problems down the road. She could become ill and would be more susceptible to infection because her body is pulling double duty trying to normalize the donor blood. Normally we could send to another hospital, but there is a national shortage of that blood type right now. That also takes time."

"Please let me know if the blood transfusion becomes necessary," Bess heard the words come out of her mouth but she wasn't sure why she had said them. She was B+, there was nothing that she could do for Nadine, even if she did need blood.

"Of course," the nurse smiled. "In the meantime, we have a place where you can wait," she quickly added "in private," when she saw Frank grimace. "I can also find you some scrubs to change into. Follow me."

Elizabeth followed the nurse and looked at the back of her head puzzled. Why would she want to change into scrubs? The nurse showed her to a small waiting room which Frank dutifully searched before motioning for her to sit down. She fell into the noisy plastic chair and looked down at her white blouse. There was blood on her sleeves at the wrists and her hands were coated. There was a perfect hand print where she had held her stomach to catch her breath after running into the building in the hopes of following Nadine. There were even drops obvious on her grey slacks and her black and white pumps were speckled. She hadn't thought of it, she hadn't even noticed. When she was pulled from her thoughts she was staring down at her blood covered hands and clothes.

"Madam Secretary," Blake's voice is what had cut through her trance.

"My God," Jay whispered when she stood to greet her whole staff that was standing in the doorway that was being watchfully guarded by Frank and another man. "Are you alright ma'am?"

"Yes," she nodded and put her hands behind her back, unsure of who had seen them.

"Where's Nadine," Matt asked urgently. "Security told us she was injured."

"What did they tell you," she asked as she looked down at the hand print on the front her blouse trying to think of a way to hide the blood there.

"That's it," Daisy spoke for an obviously agitated Matt. "Ma'am, what happened?"

"Let's sit," she fell back down into the chair and waited for her staff to comply. The same nurse reappeared and sat a set of gray scrubs on a table next to her without saying a word. Elizabeth nodded to her and she left as quietly as she had entered. "We were walking into the UN," she looked at the expectant faces of her staff. They had been in another SUV a few blocks away when it happened. "I don't know how it started," she shook her head. "Nadine was behind me, she screamed and shoved me forward. Frank caught me and we turned in time to see some man stab Nadine in the back twice," she felt her breath hitch in her throat and she had to stop.

Daisy gasped. "Why? Why would anyone want to hurt Nadine?"

"Were they after you ma'am," Blake asked somberly.

"I don't know," she shook her head again. "I guess Nadine must have thought so. She must have seen something to make her think that."

"Is she going to be ok," Matt disregarded the conversation about motives. "Is she going to make it?"

"I don't know that either," Bess felt the tears sliding down her cheeks again. "All they said was she was in surgery, the wounds were deep, and that she might need blood. They are out of her type and worried that if they give her O-, which her body won't reject, that she could develop other problems." Bess could hear the shakiness and fear in her own voice.

"What is her blood type," Jay asked concerned that a hospital as large and prestigious as this could run out of blood for any type.

"AB-," she answered quietly. "Apparently there is a national shortage."

"The rarest in the world," Jay allowed a brief smile. "That's Nadine."

"Does she need blood," Matt asked. "I mean, will she definitely need a transfusion?"

"Yes," the nurse had reappeared in the doorway. "My apologies Madam Secretary, but you asked that I tell you."

"Already," Bess asked in alarm.

"I'm afraid so. We are going to have to give her O- unless we get someone AB- in the next ten to fifteen minutes. We are looking for staff, but no luck so far. Obviously, there is no time to try to locate it at another hospital and bring it here."

Bess buried her head in her hands that were still coated in dried blood. "My God, no."

"I'm AB-," Matt jumped to his feet. "How much does she need," he stripped off his jacket and began to roll up his sleeves.

"I don't know," a wave of relief passed over the nurse. "But the less O- blood she gets the better off she will be. Come on, let's get you to the lab," the two of them practically ran from the room.

Bess looked up and saw the surprised look on the other faces in the room and Matt's discarded jacket. Matt was never the one who anyone turned to in a crisis. He was prone to rapid breathing and stumbling over his words. He had every nervous tick you could imagine and never stopped fidgeting when he was stressed. Yet somehow, he had leapt into action and disappeared without so much as the bat of an eye.

"Who knew," Daisy was still focused on the door. "Mahoney and Nadine share a blood type."

"And Matt jumped up at the opportunity to have a three-inch needle shoved in his arm," Jay added with the same air of disbelief.

"How much do you want to bet that he is terrified of needles," Daisy tried to lighten the mood to no avail.

"Ma'am," Blake turned his attention to the Secretary. "Perhaps you would like me to go find somewhere for you to change and clean up," he pointed to her hands. "I am sure that the FBI is going to want your clothes for evidence."

"Evidence," the adrenaline was coursing through her veins and the statement made no sense to her. "Right, right," she collected herself. "Thanks Blake," she offered somberly as he rose and walked out in search of a ladies room.

"You're sure you're ok ma'am," Jay became aware of his boss's appearance again.

"Fine," she nodded. "It's not mine," she stared down at her hands and her blouse again. "I was holding pressure in the car on the way here."

"Ma'am," Blake reappeared next to her, collected the scrubs, and beckoned her to follow him.


	4. Chapter 4

The bathroom was larger than Elizabeth had expected and she was grateful for the silence. She turned on the hot water and let if run as she peeled off her blouse and stuffed it into a plastic bag Blake had procured from the hospital staff. She let the water run over her hands and the dried red layer began to sluff off. She pumped the soap dispenser and scrubbed as hard as she could until she felt she might cause her hands to come out raw. She moved on and grabbed a few paper towels and set to work scrubbing at the pink tinge in her skin where she had placed her bloody hands over her blouse. That came clean much easier. She turned off the hot water and ran the cold. She splashed her face a few times and decided that would do for now. She used more paper towels to dry her face and hands.

She peeled off her slacks next and deposited them into the bag with her blouse. She slid into the scrubs. They were a size too big, but Elizabeth could really care less, she was consumed with worry for Nadine and the memory of witnessing that man stab her played on an endless loop in her head. She waited there a moment at the sink, afraid she might throw up. As she was preparing to walk out and hand the bags off to her detail who would hand them to some FBI suit to process as part of their investigation she caught sight of her now polka dotted shoes. They were her favorite pair, they were perfectly broken in and so comfortable. She always brought them along on busy business trips because she could wear them for hours with no consequences. She knew that she would never wear them again, she couldn't. Even if they did come clean, she would never be able to bring herself to put them back on without thinking about what just happened.

"Blake," she frowned when she opened the door.

"Yes ma'am," her assistant was instantly in front of her awaiting a response and taking the plastic bag from her hand.

"I need something for my feet. The FBI will want my shoes."

"Ma'am," he looked at her inquisitively and then down at her shoes. "Ah, yes ma'am," he looked up sharply. "I will see what I can find."

Blake hurried off somewhere down the hall and Elizabeth looked at Frank who had been waiting by the door. "Frank, any word?"

"Mr. Mahoney is back in the waiting room. The nurse said that he insisted on donating double and will likely be woozy for a bit if not all out sick. She also said that the doctor didn't expect Ms. Tolliver to need more than he gave, but they did find a staff person who is eligible to donate if necessary."

"Good," she nodded in approval. "Do we know when she will be out of surgery?"

"No ma'am," he shook his head sadly. "The nurse said it will be at least an hour, probably two or longer."

"Thanks Frank, for everything," she lightly touched his arm and headed back to the waiting room as he followed. She found a pale and sickly-looking Matt with a blue tub sitting in his lap. Daisy was rubbing his back and talking quietly, she couldn't make out what was being said. "Matt," she sat down on the other side of him. "I hear you were pretty gung ho about parting with that rare blood of yours," she managed a small smile.

"Yes ma'am," he clenched a water bottle in his hand and took a sip. He leaned his head back against the wall and exhaled slowly. "I really don't feel well ma'am, you may not want to sit there."

"I'm surprised they let you donate double at all," Daisy frowned.

"I had to," he started to shake his head but stopped abruptly and closed his eyes. "You're more susceptible to infection if your blood has to catch up."

"How did you know that," Bess answered, absent-mindedly prying into Matt's personal life.

"Friends," he answered when he finally opened his eyes. "I got to know a lot about a lot in high school. I was in the hospital a lot. Asthma."

"I didn't know that," Daisy seemed frustrated by the revelation.

"I grew out of the worst of it," he sat up a bit straighter. "I guess I never really talk about it. But, Nadine knows," the last part seemed to be an afterthought entirely.

"What do you mean," Elizabeth kept prying.

Matt shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well, I uh…I told her about it after the dirty bomb attack a few months ago."

"Why," Daisy was confused and mentally prepared for a bone-headed answer.

"We talked," Matt waved off her indignant tone. "I was kind of scared to go home that night. I didn't really have anywhere to go, so…Nadine, um," he looked at the Secretary and blushed. "Nadine let me spend the night on her couch. We spent the night talking about life and the things that scared us. She'll be mad when she finds out I told anyone, we just needed company that night."

"Wait," Daisy glared at Matt. "You mean, you and Nadine…"

"Of course not," he glared back. "I just mean that we talked. We didn't want to be home alone after that. We had a drink and I slept on the couch...alone," he added indignantly. "But, after that, I started to see her, I don't know differently."

"I started to look at her more like a mom after the whole doomsday clock thing," Daisy's tone had relented as she began to understand. "I was going through something then. Something personal and Nadine just made me feel like I could go to her with that, or really with anything."

"Like a mom," Matt repeated. "Maybe that's what it was."

Jay had been sitting in the corner taking the whole thing in. "I get that. I thought I was going to go crazy when Chloe was born. Nadine just always seemed to know what I needed and when I needed it."

"Here you are ma'am," Blake entered with no regard to the conversation that was happening. "Unfortunately, this is the best I could do." He handed her two pair of hospital issue slippers. She knew one was for now and one was for later, because she would inevitably feel the need to change the glorified socks.

"Thanks Blake," she took the slippers and slid out of her heels. "Will you give these to…whomever, to give to the FBI," she handed him the shoes and then bent down and pulled on a pair of the slippers and shoved the second pair into the pocket of her scrub top.

"Yes ma'am," Blake sighed heavily.

"We were talking about how Nadine is like office mom," Daisy stared at the shoes, realizing what was happening now and a new wave of horror echoed in her tone.

Blake tilted his head and smiled as if remembering something. "Yeah, I would have lost it without her. Nadine, not my actual mother." He didn't elaborate but turned and left the room again with his new task.

"Even just before what happened in Pakistan," Matt started again. "When I was upset about the aid package thing, Nadine made me feel so much better." Matt's face suddenly seemed to fade to green and he leapt to his feet and ran out as the distinct sound of him emptying his stomach into the blue bucket drifted back into the room.

"Oh," Jay winced.

"That's not gonna be good," Daisy shook her head.

"Poor Matt," Bess felt like her voice was barely an echo. "I had no idea that you were all so close to Nadine."

"I never really thought about it like that," Daisy looked down at her own shoes. "I mean, I guess I never really felt close to her even though I was." She frowned and corrected herself. "Even though I am."

"I rely on her for so much," Bess mused. "I really don't know that much about her. Hell, I just found out she had a son like a month ago."

"I suppose we can't really blame her for being distant," Jay offered. "After all, she did work long and hard to hide her personal life because of Secretary Marsh. It was…is… probably just a habit at this point."

Elizabeth shook her head and sighed. Why was it taking so long? She had to be ok. Nadine had to be ok. There was no way Elizabeth could go on without her chief of staff. She needed Nadine. "Please God," she prayed silently. "Please let her be alright."

"Ma'am," Blake was standing in the doorway and Jay and Daisy were walking toward him. "I have Henry for you."

"Thanks," she took the phone from Blake and put it to her ear.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey Babe," she tried to mask her fear and anxiety.

"Babe," Henry saw right through it. "I can be there in a few hours."

"No," Bess was firm. "I am ok. I'm not hurt, you stay and be with the kids. The media is going to have a field day I'm sure."

"I already talked to Jason and Allison, they are ok. I couldn't get Stevie, but I texted her that we needed to talk."

"I hope she doesn't see it on the news before she calls," Bess shook her head for no one in particular to see. "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, I just…"

"Don't worry about it," he admonished. "Blake explained what happened. I understand that you had to take time to get yourself situated."

"I love you Henry McCord."

"I love you too," he let his words linger. "Let me know when you know about Nadine ok Babe."

"I'm scared Henry," she whispered. "I can't lose her."

"You won't," he tried to sound reassuring. "She's a fighter, you know that. She will make it through this. Besides, I'll get Saint Francis on it, he owes me a favor."

"He must owe you a few," she chuckled. "You've said that before."

"Ehh. You know how it is," Henry offered lightly. "Talk soon?"

"Yeah. Bye Babe," she hung up the phone and sighed. She would give anything to have a hug from that amazing man right now. "Blake," she called.

"Ma'am," he entered the doorway. "Get Jay and Daisy in here, we are gonna need to get to work while we wait if they are up for it."

"Yes ma'am."

"What can we do ma'am," Jay was the first one in.

"Jay," she looked up at him. "I would really like it if you would liaise with FBI on this. I want real time updates on the investigation. I want to know who he was and why he did it."

"Yes ma'am." Jay grabbed his phone from his pocket and headed out again.

"Daisy," she turned to her press coordinator. "This is going to be a big deal. Can you work on a statement and field the calls and do what you do," she shook her head. "I don't think that Matt is going to be much help right now. I know it's a big job, but I'd like you to do your best to stay ahead of it if you can."

"Yes ma'am. What would you like me to say about Nadine?"

"Try to keep that low profile if you can. We don't know anything. We are anxiously awaiting word, or some other more appropriate adjective. We are praying for her, you know the drill."

"Yes ma'am," Daisy followed Jay's example.

"What about me ma'am," Blake looked at her with a fierce look of determination.

"We need to make sure that her son has been notified," a wave of panic rushed over her face. "I don't know how to reach him. I don't even think the hospital had time to ask about a next of kin. She also has a sister," she shook he head again. "I can't believe this. I don't even know her sister's name. I know that her son, Roman, is in Myanmar. I have no idea where her sister lives. My God, I don't know anything about her life."

"Don't worry," Blake was unsure of how to calm his boss. "I will figure it out. I will get a hold of both of them and let them know what's going on."

"Thanks Blake," Elizabeth visibly relaxed. She wasn't sure why, but when Blake said that he would take care of something, he always did. He always did it with quick efficiency too, she realized that she had never really appreciated that about him before.

Blake walked out and nearly ran into Matt. He was without his bucket now and missing his tie. He was still pale and his face was wet. He had clearly tried to clean himself up and he was furiously chewing at least three pieces of gum. He walked in and sat down across the room from the Secretary. She realized that he was still pale, but she had to admit, he looked a bit better than he had when he had run from the room to vomit. She appreciated that he had sat far away because he was worried about how he might smell, or perhaps that he may have another bout of nausea.

"How are you doing Matt," she moved and sat next to him.

"Alright, I think," he shook his head slowly. "Where is everyone else?"

"I put them to work," there was a pang of guilt. "There is going to be a whirlwind of press about this whole thing. I wanted to get in front of that."

"You know us Madam Secretary, we would rather work than sit idly by and wait," he smiled weakly. "What can I do?"

"You have definitely done enough," she scolded. "There was a bet about whether or not you were afraid of needles when I went to change. Did that get settled?"

"Daisy lost," he chuckled. "Like I said, I spent a lot of time in the hospital in high school. I'm used to them."

"Ma'am" Frank interrupted. "Dr. Weaver is here to speak with you."

"Right," Bess stood and regarded the much shorter woman who appeared in the doorway.

"Madam Secretary," she extended her hand and gave the diplomat a firm hand shake. "It's an honor. I wish it were under better circumstances."


	6. Chapter 6

"Doctor Weaver," Elizabeth nodded. "What can you tell us," she nodded to Matt.

"Mr. Mahoney, I presume." the doctor seemed distracted as she shook his hand. "Well, Miss Tolliver owes you a great deal of thanks I'd say. I hear you caused quite the ruckus in the lab insisting upon a double donation. You look terrible."

"Then she is going to make it," Matt stood up slowly, ignoring the back-handed remark on his looks.

"Yes," Weaver nodded. "She is a very lucky woman. Both wounds were very deep and she lost a lot of blood. The wound to her shoulder was not bad otherwise. She will need to be in a sling for a few days and it will be painful. Once she is done with the sling, she will still have to be careful and she will need therapy I'm sure. It required several stitches to close. The lower wound was tricky. Mr. Mahoney," she focused on Matt again. "She needed two pints of blood. Thanks to you and your little rebellion in the lab, she got two pints of her own blood type and we are very optimistic that there will be no secondary complications as a result of the transfusion."

"Thank God," Matt slumped back down into his seat and put his head in his hands.

"What will her recovery look like for that, doctor," Elizabeth wanted to know.

"We are going to keep her here overnight," the doctor said. "After that we will discharge her with orders to basically be still and rest for a week or so and have regular follow ups with her physician. There is really not much else that she can do except wait for her body to heal and medicate her pain. We will coordinate with her physician in DC, but as I said, I don't foresee any problem. Your chief of staff is one tough woman Madam Secretary."

Elizabeth smiled, "Yes she is, can we see her doctor?"

"Yes," she nodded once. "I ask that you keep it brief. She needs to rest while the anesthesia wears off. Also, she is still a bit low on blood but she is in no danger. She will be drowsy for a while so don't be alarmed if she falls asleep."

"Of course," she looked at Frank who simply nodded in agreement. "Come on Matt," she offered him her arm. "Frank will you please let Blake know and tell him to have the others meet us there."

"Yes ma'am," Frank still trailed after the two of them, while speaking into his mic, to a small room which Nadine would have to herself.

"Hi there," Elizabeth went to Nadine's injured side and rested her hand lightly on top of Nadine's hand that was in a sling.

"Madam Secretary," Nadine asked groggily. "You stayed?"

"I said I would," she nodded. "I brought someone with me," she nodded to Matt.

Matt sat down in the chair beside the bed to keep himself from falling down. He grabbed Nadine's good hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Welcome back," he managed to screw his face into a smile.

"You look terrible," she scolded.

"He's earned it," Elizabeth whispered. "He made them take two pints of blood in a manner I am dying to hear about when we get back to DC tomorrow."

"You're the crazy man who gave blood," she looked at him and her eyes widened.

"Really," he sighed. "That's what they told you?"

"Well," Nadine shrugged and winced in pain. "They said that some very good friend of mine held himself up in the lab and refused to leave before they took an extra pint of his blood for me. My money was on Jay," she smirked and squeezed his hand in return.

"Nope, Saint Jay had to sit that one out," Matt chuckled.

Nadine pulled her hand from his and touched his face gently. "Matt, thank you."

"My pleasure," he smiled warmly and heard the distinct sound of Daisy's walk coming closer. "I'm gonna let the others in here. I'm a little claustrophobic," he winked and pushed himself out of the chair. "I'll see you soon ok?"

Nadine nodded and watched him go out as the other's filed past. "Hi," she smiled faintly at them.

"How are you doin' boss," Jay tried to keep it light. "You had us worried there for a minute."

"I'm ok," she shifted uncomfortably.

"Jay says you should be training for a marathon," Blake offered warmly. "Your sprint up that walkway at the UN was impressive according to the security footage."

Nadine allowed herself a short chuckle. "Marathons aren't really my thing."

"Can we get you anything," Daisy blinked away tears.

"I'm fine," Nadine smiled. "Thank you though. I am sure you all have a lot of work to do; get to it," she tried her best for her all business voice.

"Yes ma'am," Jay reached down and gave her hand a squeeze and filed out followed by Daisy who did the same.

"I'll leave you two alone," Blake prefaced. "Madam Secretary I made those calls. We should talk about that later."

"Of course," she nodded and allowed him to make his escape. She looked down and realized that Nadine had fallen back to sleep. She gently patted Nadine's hand and brushed at her curls away from her forehead. After a long moment, she went to the door and talked to Blake.

"You found her son and her sister?"

"Yes ma'am," Blake frowned. "So, her sister, Rachel, lives in New York, but um," Blake fidgeted betraying his discomfort.

"But what," she frowned. "Is she out of town or something?"

"No ma'am," Blake shook his head. "She's not coming. She told me I should call back if Nadine didn't make it."

"Seriously," Elizabeth felt her voice raise involuntarily. "What's the deal?"

"I don't know," Blake looked flustered. "She said that she knew she was the executor named in Ms. Tolliver's will but that she had no intentions of coming down here unless she was needed for that and funeral arrangements."

"Wow," Elizabeth was taken aback but also furious. "Great sister. What about Roman?"

"Ah yes," Blake visibly relaxed a bit. "I found him and I talked to him. He was very upset and he said he wanted to come in but there are issues."

"What issues," Elizabeth threw up her hands. "How hard can it be to get this woman together with someone she cares about?"

"Um," Blake tensed again. "You see ma'am. Apparently, Roman was planning on calling Nadine tomorrow and telling her he got a job in Virginia."

"Ok," Elizabeth tried to calm herself.

"He is going to move here and apparently he has a girlfriend that he met in Myanmar. He proposed, she said yes, she is pregnant," Blake began to rush the story.

"Not hearing the problem," Elizabeth motioned for him to speed it up.

"Yes, well," Blake nodded. "There is a small passport problem with the girlfriend and apparently he and Ms. Tolliver have been estranged for a while. He said he wants to come in but he doesn't want her to know he is coming. He wants to gauge her reaction. Ma'am, he was freaking out about," Blake paused and visibly shuttered. "Well about a lot, but don't worry I am into it. I will get it handled. Just don't tell Ms. Tolliver he is coming."

"Right," Elizabeth nodded discontentedly. "Whatever, I just…this is a little crazy. Do whatever needs done. Also, not to pile on but we are not going home until she is released so, you are going to have to deal with that and she and I are both going to need some new clothes."

"Yes ma'am," Blake nodded and trotted down the hall back toward the private waiting room.

When Elizabeth walked back into Nadine's room, it was clear that the woman was still asleep. So, Elizabeth took the opportunity to move to Nadine's right side and take up the only chair in the room. She was determined to stay here as long as she could, she wanted to be there for Nadine. It was another hour before Nadine woke up again.

"Madam Secretary," she asked sleepily.

"Welcome back," Bess answered sweetly. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty," she smiled.

"Alright," Elizabeth smiled and procured the cup and straw one of the orderlies had left while Nadine was sleeping. She filled it with water from a pitcher and put the straw to Nadine's lips. "Small sips," she cautioned.

Nadine took two or three sips before she moved her head away. "Thank you ma'am."

"I think you can drop the ma'am bit," she set the cup down again. "You saved my life; I think you better start calling me Elizabeth."

Nadine looked at her thoughtfully. "Elizabeth," she pondered over it for a moment. "I'm not sure that's very professional."

Elizabeth was struck by how quiet her voice was. She also pondered how small and frail she looked in that bed. Nadine was not a big woman, nor was she tall, but she always seemed to tower over everyone. Elizabeth had always considered that it was ironic that she had to look down to make eye contact with a woman she so looked up to and admired, but seeing her now was a whole other feeling. She felt guilty, like this was her fault. She had to try to make sure that they got whoever was responsible. That guy couldn't possibly have been acting alone, could he?

"I don't care about that," Elizabeth shook those thoughts from her mind and answered Nadine. "Especially not here, in your hospital room."

"You really didn't have to stay," Nadine changed the subject. "You should have taken the meetings with Pakistan and Russia. Well, Pakistan anyway."

"Frank is not very eager for me to see anyone," Bess smiled. "What with a possible assassination attempt and security concerns at the UN. Besides, all of that can wait."

"The doctor said I would need to take it easy for a while," Nadine smiled. "I guess I am going to need a few days off."

Elizabeth laughed. "I think that we can manage that. Is there anyone I can call for you Nadine?"

"No ma'am," Nadine shook her head. "I should call Roman myself in a while."

"I had Blake talk to him," Elizabeth confessed. "I meant anyone a little closer. You know, someone who could come help you out a little once you are discharged. The doctor said you would be laid up for a while."

"I will manage," Nadine assured her as she shifted in the bed.

"What about your sister," Elizabeth couldn't help but try to figure this thing out. It made no sense to her that Nadine's sister wouldn't come see her at least. Especially when she was so close.

Nadine eyed the Secretary with a look Elizabeth had never seen. It wasn't sad exactly, but it wasn't hurt either. "No ma'am, my sister and I don't speak ma'am."

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth sighed. "I didn't realize."

"Rachel and I have a complicated relationship," Nadine shook her head. "She keeps minimum contact with me and I leave long rambling messages on her phone when I fake phone calls to get out of dates or diplomatic entanglements," she smirked. "But my sister has hated me for a long time, she really only talks to me when she does because she is the only family I have other than Roman."

"Miss Toliver," Doctor Weaver appeared in the doorway, interrupting the conversation. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm a bit lightheaded," Nadine answered. "And a bit uncomfortable."

Weaver nodded. "I will order some more pain medicine for your discomfort. As far as being lightheaded, you will feel better once your body makes some more blood back. There isn't much I can do to speed up that process."

Nadine nodded. "I understand."

Weaver eyed the Secretary cautiously. "I know that we discussed some of your post-surgical restrictions, but I thought you might like to go over the actual injuries and damage."

"I can leave you alone," Elizabeth recognized the cue to leave.

"Please stay," Nadine reached for her hand. Nadine didn't really understand the feeling, but she really did not want to be alone. "I appreciate the company," she smiled. "Besides, it will all come out in the investigation anyway."

"Alright," Weaver nodded and looked down at the chart. "As I already told the Secretary, the wound to your shoulder was very deep but there was not much damage. We were able to close it up with stitches and nothing more was required. You will need to be in the sling for a couple of days and then you will have to restrict your movements for a while after that. You will also probably need some physical therapy to restore full function and range of motion. The lower wound to your back was much worse. There was damage to muscles and tissue. We had to remove pieces of damaged tissue and repair muscles. You are likely going to experience some severe pain as a result for several weeks. Also, there was a small laceration to your lung which had to be repaired."

"Her lung," fear gripped Elizabeth as she held Nadine's hand a little tighter.

"It was not punctured," Weaver smiled. "We, out of an abundance of caution, put a few sutures in the laceration to be sure it would heal properly and not cause further damage. There is no real cause for worry there. However, we will be coordinating with you physician in DC to keep a close eye on it for the next few weeks. We also had to remove a piece of the knife that had broken off inside that wound. We have sent that to the FBI of course along with your clothes. Beyond that there was a fair amount of sewing that had to be done to get you all closed up. That lower wound was very near your spine Ms. Tolliver, it is a wonder that there wasn't any damage there. You will need to rest and limit your movements for at least a week, probably more like two. You will be able to reduce your restrictions gradually, but it will be a process. Unfortunately, there isn't much that can be done other than pain management for that wound. As you know, you lost a lot of blood and required a transfusion of two pints. You are still a bit short which is the cause of your lightheadedness, but not to worry. I expect you will feel better by morning."

"Thank you doctor," Nadine nodded. "When can I go home?"

"We will discharge you in the morning," Weaver smiled. "As soon as we are certain that there are no post-surgical complications and your body has had time to make that blood back. Any other questions?"

"No, I understand. Thank you." Nadine nodded and Weaver left them alone again.

"Ma'am," Blake appeared before either woman could say a word.

"What is it Blake," Elizabeth went to the door so they could talk without Nadine hearing their shop talk.

"Ma'am," Blake's face betrayed that he felt he had done something wrong. "I called Ms. Tolliver's sister to give her the good news."

"She still isn't coming," Elizabeth looked at him sympathetically.

"No," Blake frowned.

"She told me her sister hated her," Bess shook her head. "But that is brutal. What about her son?"

"Yes," Blake's demeanor improved slightly. "I have taken care of all the arrangements for his fiancé to come here and stay with him. The VISA office is a nightmare. They will be arriving the day after tomorrow. He asked me to help him make a hotel reservation for the first day. He said he wanted a contingency plan in case things did not go well."

"That's understandable. I'll take care of the cost of this Blake, anything State won't cover."

"Yes ma'am. Also, he asked me again that I not say anything to her about his coming. He said that he wanted to see her reaction. But he did seem pleased to hear that she was doing better and a little less freaked out."

Elizabeth nodded. "Alright, I suppose that is fair enough." She was clearly still displeased. "Is there any way to get him here sooner?"

"I don't think so ma'am, but I will keep trying," Blake assured her. "Is there anything else you need me to work on?"

"Yes," Elizabeth nodded. "Get me a copy of all the restrictions that she is going to have to follow and make sure that they have scheduled at least one follow up with her doctor in DC. Send a copy of the restrictions to Henry too and get him on the phone for me please."

"Yes ma'am," Blake lingered a moment to look at Nadine.

"And Blake," Elizabeth pulled him from his thoughts. "I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier."

"We're all worried about her ma'am," Blake nodded and gave a slight smile. "Don't worry about it." He pulled his phone from his pocket and padded off down the hall again.

"Elizabeth," Nadine visibly still did not like calling her boss by her first name. "I am sure that there is a lot to be done. You should go," she admonished as the Secretary resumed the chair. "I will be alright."

"Not a chance," Bess shook her head and took Nadine's hand again. "I think that it is about time you and I got better acquainted. Besides, they aren't going to let you out of here until tomorrow."

"So," Nadine looked at her expectantly.

"What," Bess smiled. "You think that I would let you take some commercial flight back to DC or the train and on your own no less. Not in your condition, not a chance."

"I appreciate that ma'am," Nadine smiled and closed her eyes. "Did Blake let Roman know that I am going to be ok?"

"Yes," she answered matter-of-factly. "Blake has talked to him a few times to give him updates. Do you want me to have him call so you can talk to him?"

Nadine nodded in approval. "Not right now. Forgive me ma'am, the world is spinning. I think I better just take a few minutes."

"You take all the time you need," Bess squeezed her hand before gently laying it back on the bed. She sat back in the chair and watched as her chief of staff drifted back to sleep, albeit fitfully. The doctors had told her that would happen, but Bess still intended to keep watch.

"Ma'am," Blake got her attention quietly in a successful attempt not to wake Nadine.

"Yes," she answered when she was in the doorway with him. "I have Henry," he handed over her cellphone. "Great," she took it enthusiastically. "Wait with her would you."

"Yes ma'am," Blake entered the room and quietly took over the Secretary's chair while he clicked away on his own phone.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hi Baby," she sighed into the phone. "How are you? How are the kids?"

"We're fine Babe," he answered reassuringly. "How's Nadine?"

"She's gonna be ok," the relief in her voice was evident. "Actually, that is what I wanted to talk to you about."

"What's up?"

"She doesn't have anyone to help her out at home and she really needs to restrict her movements for the next couple of weeks. Hey, are the kids with you?"

"Yeah, hang on I'll put you on speaker."

"Hey mom," Stevie's voice was suddenly audible. "How are you?"

"I'm fine sweetie," she smiled at the sound of her oldest daughter's voice.

'Hey mom," Allison was the next to speak.

"Hey," Jason's voice was low and obviously annoyed like every teen boy.

"Listen guys," she cut to the chase. "I know Dad told you what went on today and that it is all over the news. So here is the deal. Nadine doesn't have anyone to help her out while she recovers, at least not right now. Would you all be willing to pitch in, help out, and make her feel welcome if she came to stay with us for a couple weeks?"

"Absolutely," Stevie was again the first voice of her children to answer. "I can do whatever needs to be done."

"Of course," Allison's voice was filled with pride. "After everything she did today, I would really like to do something nice for her."

"I'm in," Jason answered. "Not really sure what I can do, but I'm in anyway."

"Great, I love you guys. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," there was a chorus followed by the distinct sound of Henry severing the speaker phone.

"You know that I am up for anything Babe," his voice was a great comfort to her. "I'm on sabbatical right now anyway so, we will get it together. How are you doing?"

"I'm ok," Elizabeth sighed. "Thanks Babe, I just really want to make sure that she doesn't have to worry about anything you know?"

"I know," he smiled at his wife's need to make things better. "So, what's the plan? And, um, how do you plan on convincing Nadine?"

"Huh," she chuckled. "I can handle Nadine. They are discharging her tomorrow morning, so we will be home after that. I will have Blake keep you updated on timing. He should have already sent you her discharge instructions so you guys can be ready for what might need to go on. I need you to make up the spare bedroom and move one of the TVs in there. Make sure that there are fresh towels, that kind of thing."

"On it," he said as he scribbled himself some notes.

"Also, her son is going to come in the day after tomorrow and surprise her with his fiancé, so I guess maybe talk to the girls about bunking together. Maybe Stevie could give up her room, just for a bit."

"Right," he chuckled. "Guest room and world war three, got it."

"You're the best," he could hear her relaxing as they talked.

"Thanks Babe. Can I do anything else?"

"I think that should be plenty to start with. Oh, make sure there are extra pillows in there too for elevating and propping. Oh, and have the girls make sure the bathroom is cleaned."

"Right. I love you. And hey," he hurried before she could answer. "I'm glad that Nadine's ok."

"Me too," Elizabeth heaved a heavy sigh that was dripping with relief. "I love you too, see you tomorrow," she quickly hung up the phone and headed back to Nadine's room to relieve Blake and give him some extra duties.

"Ok kids," Henry took the notepad he had scribbled his notes on and turned to the kids. "Let's get to work," he looked at his children.


	8. Chapter 8

It was two hours this time before Nadine woke up and found the Secretary still occupying the chair by her bed. When she looked at the clock, she realized that it was nearly midnight. Twelve hours had passed since she sat in the car with the Secretary reviewing her itinerary for the day's events.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping somewhere," she asked, alerting the Secretary that she was awake.

"I can work from right here as easily as any hotel room," Elizabeth dropped the brief she was perusing onto the nightstand. "How are you feeling now?"

"A little better," Nadine nodded. "Not quite so woozy."

"Good," Elizabeth nodded in satisfaction.

"You really shouldn't be spending all this time here ma'am, people will make a big deal out of it. Besides, I'm sure that you are anxious to get home to your family."

"Well, I'm not sure how staying by the side of a person who saved your life could be made to look bad, but let them try. I talked to Henry and the kids. Everyone is fine and I'll be with them tomorrow."

"Saved your life huh," she said humbly. "I don't know about all that."

"Jay showed me all the footage he and the FBI could find so far," Bess informed her. "There is security camera footage from the UN and other surrounding buildings. There is cellphone footage. There is even some news camera footage from the press that was on the scene. You saw that man coming up behind me and you shoved me out of the way."

"Do they know who he was," Nadine rolled her eyes.

"Not yet," Elizabeth shook her head. A nurse came in and deposited a food tray without saying a word. "They are still investigating, he didn't have any identification on him."

"Odd," Nadine shook her head. "Do they think he was acting alone?"

"They don't know that either," Elizabeth shook her head and lifted the lid off the food tray. "Well," she frowned at the clear broth and gray meat. "Luckily you only have to eat one night's worth of this stuff," she shrugged. "Henry and Stevie are wonderful cooks, you'll have to let them know what you like."

"Ma'am," Nadine asked confused as the Secretary moved the tray table closer and cut the meat into bite sized pieces to spare Nadine the struggle. "What do you mean?"

"I told you to cut that ma'am bit," she admonished. "I'm having Henry make up the guest room. With all those discharge restrictions, you are going to need a little help. There's no doubt about that."

"I really couldn't," Nadine started to shake her head but then winced as her stitches in her shoulder pulled. "That is entirely unprofessional, unnecessary, and…"

"Nonsense,' Elizabeth finished with the food and resumed her seat. "Not open for debate. It is really the least that we can all do for you."

"Ma'am…"

"Elizabeth."

"Elizabeth," she sighed. "I'm really not comfortable imposing on you like that, no matter the circumstances."

"Well get comfortable," she kept her voice even and firm without sounding too forceful. "Besides, it's not an imposition, it's an invitation…ish."

"I don't know," Nadine picked up the fork on the tray and took a bite. She was hungry and realized she hadn't eaten since six this morning.

"I do," Elizabeth picked her brief back up off the nightstand.

"Well," Nadine said after a few more bites. "I do appreciate the offer anyway."

"Nadine," Elizabeth discarded the brief permanently. "I am not going to let you go through this alone. I want to be there for you, I want to help you through it."

"Thank you," she nodded after a moment and continued eating. "Are you sure that your family won't be put out."

"I already told them to expect you and they are all thrilled," Elizabeth smiled. "When you feel up to it, you can make a list of things that you want from your apartment and Henry and Stevie will be happy to go get them for you."

Nadine felt her face flush. "I hadn't even thought of that."

"You are supposed to basically be on bed rest," she admonished gently. "It's not exactly going to be a picnic."

Nadine nodded. "Thank you Elizabeth." Satisfied with her dinner, bland though it was, she gently pushed the tray table away a bit and shifted to find a more comfortable position. "How are the others holding up?"

"They are hard at work," Elizabeth shook her head. "They have taken over the private waiting room we were in and turned it into a makeshift office space. They have been poking their heads in every once in a while to make sure you are still with us."

"What are they saying about it in the news?" Suddenly there was a soft knock at the door and Matt poked his head in. "Matt," Nadine's eyes lit up.

"Hey there," Matt came over and stood by the bed. "How are you doing Nadine?"

"I'm alright," she waved off the question. "How are you feeling?"

"Tip top," there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "You know, some of the nurses around here are very attractive," he teased.

"I imagine the attention is waning some now that your color is almost back to normal," Elizabeth joked as she pushed herself out of the chair. "I'll go check with Daisy about that question," she smiled at Nadine. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Ma'am," Matt nodded. "How are you really," he asked when the Secretary was gone. "Is the pain bad?"

"No," Nadine answered. "They have me on the good stuff. It doesn't hurt much at all, when I find the right position. I'm mostly just stiff feeling."

Matt nodded and took her uninjured hand. "I was afraid we were going to lose you," he looked down at the hand and stroked it gently with his thumb. "I don't think I could have handled that."

"Matt," Nadine felt her breath catch. "I'm ok."

"I know," he nodded and looked up revealing the tears threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes. "Still, I think that maybe there is something I should say, something I should have said a long time ago."

"What is it," Nadine was worried about where this might go. Matt was always unpredictable and oddly sentimental.

"Thank you for everything that you've done for me over the past five years," he smiled. "I know I don't always show it, but I really do appreciate it."

"What," Nadine chuckled. "I don't even know what you're talking about."

"You've always pushed me to do better. Sometimes, you made me see there was a level my work could reach that I never would have thought was possible. And," he paused and considered his next words carefully. "Even things beyond work, like the bombing a few months ago. You made me realize that it was ok to be terrified of things, you made me feel like I would always have someone to go to when the going got tough."

"Oh Matt," Nadine felt a tear slide down her cheek. "I don't know what to say."

Matt bent down and pecked her cheek before brushing away the tear and straightening up. "You were there a couple weeks ago when things got tough too. Clearly, I need you around. So, just promise me you won't get yourself stabbed anymore," he smiled.

"It's a deal," she returned the smile and squeezed his hand as tight as she could. "I'm not a fan," she said as Elizabeth reentered the room.

"Well," Matt released her hand and turned to the Secretary. "I better get back to work."

"Everything ok," Bess asked when Matt was gone.

"That boy is something else," Nadine shook her head and wiped at her eyes with her good hand.

"He sure is," Bess smiled.

"So how is the news reporting all of this," Nadine asked again returning to her business-like voice.

"Well," Elizabeth sat back in the chair and propped her feet up on the bed frame. "Daisy tells me that they are being pretty hard on the FBI for not giving more information about the assailant and his motives."

"I thought they didn't have anything yet?"

"They don't, but you know how the press is. They want instantaneous answers. As far as the rest of it, they are calling you a hero."

"That's ridiculous," Nadine scoffed.

"Oh, I don't think so," Elizabeth grinned. "You're certainly a hero in my book."

"Nonsense," Nadine shook her head. "How are they reporting about you?"

"Oh, well,' she tipped her head to one side. "Daisy was all too pleased to inform me that PR around this is doing wonders for my poll numbers."

"What," Nadine looked shocked.

"Apparently, the press is really lapping up the whole staying at the hospital thing and foregoing meetings with powerful world leaders in favor of and I quote 'standing by the ones who stand by her.' So, you know, the whole great American rhetoric."

Nadine chuckled. "Well, they aren't wrong. Vincent," she paused long enough to frown dramatically. "Vincent would have taken those meeting, flown back to DC, and reimbursed me for a bus ticket."

"Marsh really didn't know what he had with you did he?"

"I don't follow," Nadine shook her head.

"Well," she shrugged. "He had a hero right there in front of him and…" she let herself trail off in order to choose her words carefully. "and he never did treat you with the appropriate respect and admiration."

"Ha," Nadine laughed sarcastically. "He was a user plain and simple I suppose. I have to say, if I had gone through this for him, I think I would have regretted it later."

"So," Elizabeth allowed herself a playful grin. "Does that mean you don't regret making sure I didn't die today."

Both women laughed and Nadine saw something in her boss that she had seen every day, genuine care and concern. But now that was all for her, not someone else that the woman had never met or some group facing a humanitarian crisis. How fascinating to think that one of the most powerful people on the planet cared about how she felt, cared about whether or not she was going to be looked after when they got back to DC. She felt overwhelmed by the woman's kindness.

"Listen," Elizabeth's words cut into her thought. "The DS made some hotel arrangements for the night and I told the staff that they should go get a couple hours rest before you are discharged and we head home. They would all kind of like to say goodnight to their office mom though if you're up for that."

"Office mom," Nadine was puzzled.

"Oh," she chuckled and put her feet back on the floor. "While you were in surgery we had a heart to heart about the things we like about you. Apparently, without ever really discussing it before, they have all sort of decided that you are office mom. You're the one they go to when the going gets tough."

Nadine smiled. "That's exactly what Matt said earlier. "I was the one he could go to when the going got tough," she shook her head. "I really care about them, you know," she met the Secretary's eyes head on. "But, I hate the name."

"I know," she smiled. "We really care about you too. So," she tilted her head to the side again. "Do you think you can stand a little more action before we let you rest for the night?"

"Sure," she smiled and let out a sleepy sigh.

"Good," she went to the door and opened it, revealing the whole staff standing there waiting impatiently for their opportunity to see Nadine again. "Come on in guys," she gestured.

"Goodnight," Matt bent down and gave Nadine a one-armed hug, being careful not to get anywhere near her wounds. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Matt," she snaked her good arm around his ribs and squeezed tightly.

"Ms. Tolliver," Blake followed suit and everyone could tell that hugging was not something Blake really liked all that much no matter who it was. "I'm glad you're ok."

"Thank you Blake," Nadine released him quickly, knowing how he felt about touching other people. She was impressed that he had even brought himself to do it after such a lengthy stay in a hospital full of germs and disorder.

"Get some rest," Jay hugged her and then lifted her hand and kissed it. "See you in the morning."

"Goodnight Jay," she smiled.

Daisy waited until the others were all out the door before approaching the bed. "Nadine," she shook her head. "I am so glad that you are still with us," she bent down and gently hugged the woman's neck. "Don't scare me like that," she whispered before pulling away.

"Goodnight Daisy," Nadine felt hot tears burn her eyes and roll down her cheeks slowly,

"Will you be alright," Bess approached on her own. "I will stay if you'd rather have the company."

"No," Nadine shook her head. "I am going to try to sleep and you should too." She gave the Secretary the once over. "You know, you probably should have had Blake find you something else to wear."

Bess looked down at the baggy scrubs and smiled. "Yeah, the FBI needed my clothes, and my shoes," she held up her slippered foot.

"Why?"

"Evidence," she shrugged. "Don't worry. Blake told me he would have something waiting at the hotel for me." She bent down and lightly wrapped one arm around her chief of staff's good shoulder and patted her hair with the other hand. "Sleep well, call if you need anything at all, and otherwise I will see you in the morning."

"Thank you," Nadine whispered as she squeezed the arm that was wrapped around her shoulder. "Thank you for staying, for caring, I mean."

Bess pulled away and brushed gently at Nadine's tears. "Right back at ya," she smiled sweetly and kissed Nadine's forehead before leaving her alone.

Nadine listened as she told two members of her detail to stay with Nadine and make sure that she was kept comfortable and safe. She told them to update her every hour about whether there had been any change in her condition, new orders from doctors, and test results. She smiled, she knew that the Secretary would not sleep much because she would be waiting for each text to come in even if every single one said there was no change or no update. She settled back against the pillows, closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep.

Elizabeth was swarmed at the hospital entrance by paparazzi and the press. She ignored them all and climbed into the back of a waiting SUV that was part of her traditional motorcade. Blake was waiting in the back seat and Frank climbed into the front seat before they pulled away. Frank looked exhausted but still found a moment to protest the Secretary's blatant violations of safety protocols and disregard for his attempts to protect her. She listened and then passively informed him that she was sorry he was upset but she wouldn't do anything differently if she had it to do over. When they arrived at the hotel, Blake showed her to her room and gave her a timeline for breakfast, Nadine's discharge, and their flight back to DC. He also produced a set of pajamas and brought her attention to a new outfit hanging in the closet with shoes to match.

"Blake, what in the world would I do without you?"

"Thank you ma'am," Blake bowed his head slightly. "If you are so inclined, the staff will join you for breakfast."

"Of course," she nodded. "Is anyone going to sleep tonight?"

"I think everyone is mostly passed out already ma'am," Blake acknowledged. "Can I do anything else for you?"

"Get some sleep," she smiled. "You have done a lot today and I want you to know that I really appreciate your dedication. I appreciate it every day," she added.

"Thank you ma'am." Blake smiled. "Will you be sleeping?"

"I plan to try," she nodded. "But first I have to take a shower," she shook her head. "I feel really gross right now," she frowned at her feet.

"Yes ma'am," Blake moved toward the door to the adjoining room and opened it. "I'm just here if you need anything."

"Thanks Blake," she waited until he closed the door and then went off to the bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, the staff assembled in a small conference room where they were served breakfast. The small room reminded Elizabeth of the conference room on the seventh floor where they had their staff meetings. In fact, the staff took up their usual positions at the table. Seemingly ceremoniously the chair on Elizabeth's right side was left empty, it was where Nadine should be sitting after all. For a few moments, the only words were quiet good mornings and requests to pass one condiment or another. But when the wait staff had filed out and left them alone to eat in peace together, the real discussion began.

"Was there any change last night ma'am," Daisy asked eagerly.

"No," Elizabeth smiled sleepily. "Doctors ran tests at regular intervals. There is no sign of internal bleeding, infection, or any other complications. They are going to release her at eight."

"Thank God," Jay gulped down half a cup of coffee in one sip.

"Ma'am, I have several requests for interviews with you and with Nadine about what happened," Daisy offered. "What would you like me to do with those."

"Draft a press release saying that I won't be doing any interviews on this matter at least until the FBI concludes its investigation. I can't speak for Nadine, obviously, but she is definitely going to need time before she does anything substantial."

"Very good," Daisy took a bite of her food. "I will talk to Nadine on the way home, if she is up to it. I'll get the statement out after we are back at the office then."

"Great," Bess nodded. "Jay, were you able to find out anything more from the FBI?"

"Not much," Jay shook his head. "They have been at it all night and all they have so far is a preliminary id on the man, but they are awaiting confirmation. Apparently, they think his name is Cole Smith and he was from Philadelphia. Beyond that, I don't have anything yet. Of course I am sure that you already know he is left handed," Jay scoffed. "That is about the only confirmed information I have at the moment. I will be far more effective back at the office where I can get in touch with people and have my actual office space."

"No place like home," Bess nodded as she continued to eat. "Matt," she looked up as he poured a third glass of orange juice. "How are you this morning?"

"Much better, thank you ma'am," Matt sipped the juice slowly. "I am still feeling a bit weak but nothing I can't manage today. I will help Daisy with the statements and fielding calls."

"If you're sure that you're up for it," she eyed him like an errant child. "You know, I know I said I could wait until we got back, but I really want to know what went on in that lab yesterday."

"Ah," he shrugged. "Not as dramatic as it sounds. When the first bag-o-blood was filled and the nurse wasn't looking I grabbed a new one and hooked it up to the needle. When she yelled at me and tried to pull the needle out, I jumped out of the chair and stood on top of it so she couldn't get to me. She kept yelling so," he sipped his orange juice again. "I just had no choice but to explain that the woman who was getting this blood was a dear friend. I didn't know how much she needed only that one of the biggest and most prestigious hospitals on the entire east coast had run out of her blood type. I told her there was no way that I was going to leave that lab until there were two full pints of blood for Nadine."

Jay looked away and tried to hide his smile. "That's awfully dramatic my friend,' he managed to get out.

Daisy laughed outright. "Oh, I would have paid good money to see that Matt Man."

"No wonder they made you sound like a crazy person," Bess was grinning from ear to ear. "What did the nurse say to that?"

"Oh," Matt sighed and picked at his food for a moment. "She told me it was dangerous, I was going to make myself ill. I was going to bleed to death if I didn't sit back down. Of course, by then the second bag was really full from all the movement and so I had to get down and let her detach it and pull the needle out. When I went to stand back up with righteous indignation," he frowned and heaved a heavy sigh before he finished. "I hit the floor."

Jay couldn't contain his laughter anymore and neither could Blake or Elizabeth. "Seriously," Elizabeth tried hard to compose herself. "Matt, you are indeed a crazy man. But I am so glad that you were there for Nadine and that you are crazy."

"I'll second that," Jay added honestly.

"Here, here," Blake raised his coffee cup and everyone toasted.

"Honestly," Matt chuckled himself now. "I just did what I thought…" he paused a moment to contemplate his statement. "I did what I KNOW Nadine would have done for me. What she would have done for any of us."

They all looked at each other very thoughtfully for a moment. "I can honestly say," Blake broke the moment. "I have never worked with a group of people that felt so much like a family. And, I think that Nadine is the one who has always managed to hold us together."

"That's true," Jay nodded. "She held us together after Marsh, through your transition to the big chair," he nodded to Elizabeth. "She held us together when the Iran peace talks broke down. She held herself together in Venezuela when they threatened to have her arrested. Not to mention when the scandal broke about Marsh's involvement in the coup in Iran and she told all of us about the two of them."

"She was shattered by that, but she still managed to hold us all together when you were missing in Iran," Daisy added quietly. "We were freaking out."

"She held me together when I got back," Elizabeth replied. "She held me together, and I suppose by extension to all of you through a lot after that."

"She held me together when those damn pigeons got into my apartment," Blake visibly shivered at the thought. "I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but that really messed with me. I suppose a more apt example though was after she came back from Myanmar and got me back on track after that stupid 2030 report."

"She held me together after the dirty bomb," Matt reminded them all of what he had said yesterday.

"Then there was when Air Force One went missing, when Pakistan and India nearly went to war. There was when I almost got Marburg Virus, Pakistan imploding, HS taking over, loose nukes, Russia bailing on us. I really don't know how she does it." Jay kept the conversation moving. "Personally, she is always there for me through every rough patch with Abby," he trailed off.

"Like you said," Blake turned to Daisy. "She is our office mom."

Elizabeth glanced at her watch and then around and noted that no one was really interested in their food anymore. "Well then, let's go get her huh," she slammed her hand down firmly on the table and pushed herself to her feet.

"Yes," Matt was the first one up.

"Blake," Elizabeth turned to her assistant. "Did you pick up something for Nadine to wear when you went on that shopping trip yesterday?"

"Ma'am," Blake smiled and rolled his eyes impertinently as he dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin. "I have an outfit of suitable size and color pressed and already waiting in the motorcade."

"Excellent," she looked around at her anxious staff. "In that case, to the motorcade," she cried and raised her fist as though she were leading a charge.


	10. Chapter 10

"Come in," Nadine called when there was a knock at the door. From the urgency of the knock, she wasn't surprised when her colleagues flooded into the tiny space. She couldn't help but smile at how excited they all seemed to see her.

"Good morning Nadine," the Secretary smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I want to get out of here," she sighed.

"Good to hear," Jay smiled.

"Matt," Nadine reached out her hand for him. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he took her hand, bowed, and kissed it. "I'm just glad that you are ok."

"I got a better recounting of your unnecessary antics yesterday," she smiled. "What on earth were you thinking," she scolded.

"She even sounds like my mother," Daisy chuckled.

"And that's another thing," she let her stern eyes fall over each of them slowly. "What is this office mom bit I heard about last night?"

"We all agree," Blake began with his mischievous smile. "That you are the glue that holds this little band of misfits together."

"Oh that is ridiculous," she laughed.

"It's true," Elizabeth declared. "We have discussed it at length and we are all in agreement. So, democracy dictates that you are now the proud owner of the title of State Department Senior Staff Office Mom."

"That's a terrible title, it sounds so," she shook her head. "Domesticated."

"To answer your other question," Matt gently released her hand gently and squared his shoulders. "You would have done it for me."

Nadine smiled at him sweetly. "In your dreams Mahoney," her tone betrayed that Matt was right. "Could you please get me out of here," she sighed.

"Absolutely, let's get to work," Jay tapped Matt's shoulder and the two men walked out followed by Daisy.

"Ms. Tolliver," Blake nodded respectfully and laid the garment bag he was holding over the chair next to the bed. "I think that you will find everything you require here," he smiled and followed the others out.

"Do you want me to have a nurse come in and help you with that," Bess nodded to the bag.

Nadine frowned. "I suppose I am going to need the help."

"Alright," she nodded. "I will go find someone. We will get your discharge papers and the jet is gassed up and waiting to take us home."

"Thank God," she sighed as she pushed herself to sit up right.

While Jay and Matt badgered the doctor to sign Nadine's discharge orders twenty minutes early, Bess and Daisy found a nurse to help Nadine into the clothes that Blake had bought for her. To the nurse's delight and Nadine's surprise, he had picked out a perfect blouse. The arms were designed loose and the sleeves were three-quarter length. It covered up the bruising around her shoulder and ended just below where her sling fit past her elbow. It had a high collar too which created a barrier between the strap and her skin and it fit her impeccably. It even buttoned up the front so there was little to no jostling of her shoulder. Nadine had to admit, Blake had an eye for clothes. The blouse was black and so were the slacks. He had found her a pair of comfortable ballet flats which she hated for the simple fact that they accentuated her short stature. And he had also included a beautiful dark red cashmere shawl to combat the cold weather without disturbing her sling or adding any significant weight on top of her incisions and stitches. Nadine combed her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked pretty good, and it was the first thing that made her feel like things were going to get back to normal. The nurse wished her well and left the room allowing the Secretary back in.

"Well," she smiled when she saw Nadine. "You look fabulous. Are you ready to go?"

"Remind me to thank Blake," she smiled. "And yes, I've been ready for hours."

"Great," Bess stepped through the door and beckoned to Matt who appeared with a wheel chair.

"Oh no," Nadine fumed. "Not happening."

"Rules," Matt frowned. "Just to the door, I promise."

"Ugh," Nadine sighed and plopped into the chair. "Whatever, just get me out of here."

"Yes ma'am," Matt turned the chair and headed out of the room with the Secretary close on his heels.

When they reached the door, Matt stopped the chair, put on the brakes and offered Nadine his arm. She accepted with a sheepish grin and a slight blush. As the staff walked out to the motorcade and climbed inside, the press was waiting. There were flashes from cameras everywhere and the glowing red lights of the tv cameras recording every step. Reporters fired off questions at the Secretary and Nadine. To their disappointment, no one said a single word to them or to each other that could be picked up by the microphones. Matt simply walked Nadine to the middle car and helped her in one side while the Secretary crawled in the other. Matt closed the door and headed off to one of the other cars and the motorcade drove quickly away from the hospital toward the airport.

"Madam Secretary," Nadine started after the cars had passed the last of the cameras.

"Elizabeth," Bess corrected her.

"Elizabeth," Nadine sighed. "About me staying with you for a few days…"

"Not days Nadine, the doctor said two weeks of heavy restrictions at least."

"Listen, I appreciate the offer, but it's really too much. I can manage on my own."

"I am sure that is probably true," Bess nodded and looked at the woman sitting next to her. "The last twenty-four hours notwithstanding, you would still qualify as one of the toughest women I have ever met."

"Thank you ma'am," Nadine smiled.

"But the thing is," she continued. "There is nothing wrong with taking a little help and making it easier on yourself. Besides, I don't trust you to follow the doctor's orders, most independent women don't, not that I speak from experience or anything."

Nadine sighed. "Well, I'm not allowed to do steps. Your house or mine, that's not really a workable option. Sometimes, you just can't follow orders."

"Oh," Bess looked at her with a knowing look. "that is what you think."

"What does that mean," Nadine gave a bemused look back.

"You will find out," Bess assured her. "When you get to my house."

The flight home was uneventful. Daisy talked to Nadine who said that she wanted nothing to do with reporters. She didn't want to make any type of appearance or answer any questions. She told Daisy that she was welcome to tell the reporters whatever she wanted including that they could drop dead. Daisy laughed and rolled her eyes. Nadine never liked being mentioned or commented on in a news story, much less being the subject. She hated the limelight and did her best to avoid the cameras when she could. She had thanked Blake for his effort in finding her a suitable outfit and he had helped her make a list of things that she would need from her apartment during her stay with the Secretary.

Meanwhile Elizabeth spent most of the trip in her office on the phone with Henry plotting how to do things with Nadine in the house and her son coming in to surprise her the following day. She made sure that the kids knew not to say anything about her son coming in and that they were still all prepared to pitch in or face the consequences. When they landed, Blake gave the list to the Secretary and emailed a copy to Henry. Even though, she hadn't asked, there was a fifty-fifty chance the list would be lost in her briefcase when Henry wanted to make the trip to Nadine's apartment, and Blake, true to his nature, wanted to be prepared for that contingency.


	11. Chapter 11

"We're here," Elizabeth and Nadine walked into the house from the garage that had an entrance in the alley behind the house. The front was swarming with press and paparazzi not to mention that entrance involved steps.

"Hi." Henry descended the three steps to the landing and hugged his wife. "Hey Nadine," he offered her his hand. "How are you feeling?"

"A little tired," she shook his hand. "They don't let you get too much sleep in the hospital."

"Well, then I suppose we should get you upstairs and settled in," he looked at his wife.

"Yes we should," she hugged Henry again and put her hand in the high, left center of his back. "Here and her left shoulder," she whispered in his ear before trotting up the three steps into the kitchen where she found her children silently waiting.

"I appreciate this," Nadine took one step toward the stairs before Henry stepped in front of her.

"I apologize in advance," he smiled sheepishly and then swept her up into his arms, being careful to avoid the areas his wife had told him about.

"My God," Nadine shrieked, as she grabbed his shoulder to steady herself.

"Like I said," he carried her up the stairs and sat her back on her feet in the kitchen where the family was waiting. "Sorry."

"Ms. Tolliver," Stevie barely gave her a chance to regain her composure before she was standing next to her. "I really just want to thank you so much for what you did."

"That's really not necessary," Nadine's face was bright red and neither Henry or Bess was sure whether it was anger or embarrassment.

"It really is," Allison chimed in and offered her hand to Nadine as she joined her sister by the older woman's side. "You are seriously like our hero."

"Yeah," Jason waved, feeling like he might overwhelm Nadine if he flocked with his sisters.

"If there is anything that I can do for you while you're here, just let me know," Stevie smiled and stepped to the side.

"I really appreciate this," Nadine shifted on her feet. "Thank you all for being so kind and letting me stay with you."

"It's really our pleasure," Henry chimed in from behind her.

"The guest room is all set up for you. We have fresh sheets and towels. Blake sent me something for you to wear that is a little less public persona," Elizabeth was talking with her hands as much as her mouth as she shook an overnight bag she had carried in with her purse and her briefcase. "Henry set up the TV and once you are settled in, one of us will go get your things for you."

"Thank you," Nadine nodded and looked at Henry. "I presume that I will get the same treatment at the next staircase whether I protest or not?"

"Afraid so," Henry's own cheeks flushed a bit. "I just hope you don't hate me too much when you are allowed to walk the stairs again on your own."

"Oh," she sighed and followed after the Secretary toward the staircase in the sitting room which was much wider and accommodating for caring someone up it. "I am certain that such physical labor was not your idea," she eyed the Secretary suspiciously.

Henry carried Nadine up the stairs and gently set her on her feet at the top. Nadine followed Elizabeth the few more steps to the closed guest room door. Elizabeth opened it and walked inside ahead of Nadine and turned on the overhead light. The room was nicely decorated in neutral colors like beige and cream. The furniture was sparse but neatly arranged and there was a fresh bouquet of flowers on the dresser next to the television set. Clearly Henry and the kids had gone to a lot of trouble getting things ready for Nadine and that thought gave Nadine a warm feeling that reminded her of the holidays when her son was small and she had gone to the same lengths for her own guests. There was an on-suite bathroom also which meant that Nadine could have her privacy and not feel quite so much like an impostor in this house.

"I hope this is ok," Elizabeth smiled.

"It's perfect," Nadine answered quickly.

"I know that you like to read," Henry commented. "I didn't see any books on your list of things you wanted from your apartment so if that's something that you need to add or if you want to peruse our VAST collection of books," he glanced at Elizabeth. "just let us know."

"I hadn't even thought of that," Nadine confessed. "Thanks."

"Of course," Henry smiled and took his leave, closing the door behind him.

"You really didn't need to go to all this trouble," Nadine reiterated.

"It's no trouble," Bess shook her head. She dropped the small overnight bag she had been carrying on the bed. "Like I said, comfortable clothes from Blake. Would you like a hand changing?"

Nadine winced. "I uh…"

"Nadine," her voice was calm and filled with compassion. "I knew what I was signing up for. So did the family. We are just here to help you and we have all had our stuff."

"It's pretty bad," she shook her head. "I can't even change my own shirt."

"I couldn't either when I came home from Iran. Henry had to help me a lot."

"I didn't know that," Nadine's eyes widened.

"Every time I lifted my arms, it pulled my stitches and the pain was unbearable for like a week," Bess nodded.

Nadine thought back to when Elizabeth had been in Iran and was shot in the back. "Alright," she nodded.

"Ok,' Bess smiled and opened the bag. "Blake said he bought this a little bigger so that it wouldn't be so form fitting," she told Nadine as she pulled a set of royal purple silk pajamas from the bag and a pair of matching velvet slippers.

"My word," Nadine's eyes widened. "Purple silk pajamas. Where in the world did the boy find such a thing?"

"I have no idea," Bess seemed as surprised as Nadine. "But, if you don't like them, it's only temporary."

"That's the thing," Nadine chuckled. "I think I should get Blake to shop for me more often.

The pajamas were as well chosen as the outfit for leaving the hospital had been. The shirt buttoned up the front, and it had a collar with three-quarter length sleeves. And even though they were not tight on her, they still managed to show off Nadine's slim frame and smooth curves. She was struck by the realization that she had never told Blake, or anyone else at work for that matter, her size and he had never asked. Maybe he was a tailor in a past life. Elizabeth was gentler with Nadine than the nurse had been and she took every precaution to ensure that Nadine was exposed for as short a time as possible all while working at odd angles that obstructed her own view of Nadine's body. Once Nadine was changed, Elizabeth took the other clothes and deposited them in a basket in the closet. She turned down the covers and stacked the pillows.

"I will get Jason and Henry to bring you up one of the arm chairs from the sitting room and an ataman so that you can change it up when you feel like it," Elizabeth smiled.

"You don't have to do that," Nadine shook her head.

"Well," she smiled. "I'll have them do it anyway."

"Thanks," Nadine sighed.

"In the meantime," I had Blake add all my family's numbers to your phone including the landline. That is probably your safest bet if you need anything. Can I get you anything right now?" She plugged Nadine's cellphone into a charger and sat it on the nightstand.

"Actually," Nadine settled herself into the bed and pulled the sheet overtop of her legs. "I think it is about time I took one of those pills they gave me for the pain. They sent me with a three-day supply and a prescription called in to my local pharmacy near my apartment. If someone could pick that up for me, I would really appreciate it."

"Of course," she smiled. "Your pain pills are here," she pulled a small bottle from the bag. I will go get you some water. Are you hungry?"

"Not really," Nadine shook her head.

"Right, I'll be right back," Bess stowed the now empty bag in the closet and hurried out of the room. A few minutes later she was back with a bottle of water. "Here you go," she held it out for Nadine.

"Thank you," Nadine took the bottle, opened it and took a long sip. Then she carefully took the pill bottle with her medication and worked the cap loose. She dumped one of the oblong green and purple pills into her hand and replaced the lid.

Elizabeth watched Nadine negotiate the pill bottle and the bottle of water with a sort of intrigue. She didn't wince in pain at the task and she did not ask for any help even though it was clearly a tedious and difficult thing for her to accomplish. "Henry and Jason are on their way up with that chair," she said. "But can I get you anything else for now?"

Nadine shook her head. "No. I think I am just going to rest for a little while. Like I said, I didn't get much sleep at the hospital." She paused for a moment and then looked up at her boss. "Ma'am, I," she paused again. "I really don't know how comfortable I am with all of this."

"Nadine," Elizabeth sat down at the foot of the bed. "You have stayed in the same hotel room with me. You have stayed in the room right next to mine. Just think of it that way. Like I said, this is the least that we can do for you."

"But that was work. This isn't, this is personal. I am not sure that I should stay."

"I am," Elizabeth eyed her admonishingly. "It wasn't professional when you got yourself stabbed either." There was a light tap on the open door. "Come on in Jace," Elizabeth waved her son in with the ataman. Henry filed in behind with the chair. "Thanks Babe," she smiled at her husband.

"Of course," he grinned, chair in hand. "I'm sorry we didn't think of it last night. By the window Nadine or would you prefer it somewhere else?"

"That sounds lovely," Nadine smiled. "Thank you both."

"Go ahead dad," Jason moved out of his father's way so that he could place the chair.

Henry set the chair by the window and then turned to take the ataman from his son. "Thanks buddy."

"Sure thing," Jason smiled, and gave a short wave to his mother and the woman lying in the bed. "Let me know if you need anything," he nodded and walked out.

Henry adjusted the chair and the ataman to straighten them out and make sure they were not too close to the bed. "Nadine, I know you said you were tired. While you rest, I am going to head to your place with Stevie and pick up your things. Can I bring you back anything else?"

"She has a prescription that needs picked up," Bess interjected.

"I, uh," Nadine looked down at her hands. "I don't think so. Thank you Dr. McCord."

"Nadine," Henry crossed to the other side of the bed and stood next to his wife. "I told you a long time ago to call me Henry."

"Henry," she looked up at him and he could see the tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. "Thank you."

"I'll leave you both be," his voice softened even more than normal as he squeezed his wife's shoulder gently and slipped out pulling the door nearly shut behind him.

"Nadine," Bess scooted closer to her chief of staff.

"I'm sorry," she wiped at her eyes as the first tears slid silently down her cheeks. "This is all just," she shook her head. "a little overwhelming, I suppose. It's just, I am usually the one doing the helping not the one who needs the help."

Elizabeth moved again and wrapped Nadine in a gentle hug, pulling her snuggly to her chest. "Oh Nadine," she felt her own tears welling. "I know that. But you have already done so much and been through so much. I didn't want you to go through the rest of this alone."

"I'm sorry," she choked out as her sobbing became more pronounced and she snaked her good arm around the Secretary of State.

"Don't be sorry," Elizabeth moved one hand to Nadine's lower back and the other to her head so she could hold her more firmly without fear of causing her pain. "Don't be sorry Nadine, you have nothing to apologize for."

Nadine felt like she was dissolving into the Secretary's embrace and she held the woman tighter to make sure that she was really there. She couldn't seem to compose herself and she felt as though she were drowning and holding onto a life preserver. She could feel Elizabeth petting her hair and hear her saying that everything was ok, everything was going to be ok. She tried to latch on to those words, to get herself under control but it was no use. Eventually she felt like she had no more tears left to cry and no more energy to cry with anyway. She was just sitting with her head buried in the Secretary's shoulder trying desperately to catch her breath again.

"You ok," Bess pulled her away slightly and tipped Nadine's chin up so she could see her red puffy eyes once her breathing had normalized.

Nadine nodded. "I'll be ok."

"Here," Bess pulled a tissue from the box on the nightstand and put it into Nadine's good hand.

"Thank you," Nadine wiped her eyes and looked at her boss again.

"Get some sleep," Elizabeth stood up from the bed and Nadine compliantly eased herself back against the pillows. "Do you need more pillows, less pillows?"

"No," Nadine answered through a sniff. "This is just right."

"Good," Elizabeth pulled at the blankets and brushed the hair from Nadine's eyes. "I'll check on you in a little while." But as she moved her hand away from Nadine's forehead, she realized that the woman was already asleep.

"She ok," Henry asked when his wife descended the kitchen steps.

"I don't know," Bess sighed and fell against his chest into his open arms. "It's a lot Henry."

"Yeah it is. Do you want us to wait to go to her place?" He was swaying back and forth and rubbing circles on her back with his palm.

"No," She broke the embrace and looked into his eyes. "You two go. I am going to stay here in case she wakes up and needs anything."

"Right," Henry nodded. "Don't you need to go to the office."

She shook her head. "I told the staff to keep me updated so I will have phone calls, but I told them I am not coming in unless it is a serious emergency today. Cushing can deal with the little stuff as far as I'm concerned."

"Hey guys," Stevie announced her presence. It was a habit she developed after being scolded a few times for walking in on classified or otherwise private conversations.

"Hey honey," Bess patted her oldest on the shoulder.

"You ready to go," Henry asked.

"Yep," she smiled. "You have the list, right?"

"I do," Henry smiled. "Thanks for going with me sweetheart."

"No worries," she shrugged. "I get you not wanting to pack up a woman's things for two weeks on your own," she chuckled.

"You guys are the best," Bess smiled as they headed for the door. "You already have the list?"

"Yeah, yeah," Henry playfully scoffed. "Yeah, Blake sent it to me. Said he wanted to be prepared." Henry shot her a smile then blew her a kiss as he closed the garage door behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

"Anyone have anything they want me to let the Secretary know on this update," Blake stood up from his space at the conference room table and grabbed his phone.

"Let her know that the press inquiries are still flooding in," Daisy sighed. "I'm on it."

"Right," Matt nodded. "She is going to have to make some kind of statement or appearance to quiet them down. We can wait until tomorrow, but she is going to have to say something before the investigation wraps up, even if it isn't a full-on interview."

"Right," Blake frowned. "She is gonna love that."

"FBI has confirmed the preliminary id," Jay chimed in. "Still looking into his background but it looks like he was forty years old, single, born and raised in Philadelphia. So far there is no word on any kind of State connection or any other connection for that matter to the Secretary."

"What about a connection to Nadine," Matt asked. "I mean, he could have been after her right?"

"They are checking," Jay nodded. "But they are pretty sure from the footage that isn't what happened. I mean, it looks like he stabbed Nadine because she got in the way."

"This whole thing is nuts," Daisy threw up her hands. "Who in their right mind would try to assassinate the Secretary of State," she paused and looked at the bewildered faces around the room. "Right," she sighed. "Sorry guys."

"I'm gonna make the call," Blake strolled out of the room toward the Secretary's office to give himself some privacy.

"They are looking into the guys mental history," Jay said when Blake was gone. "So far there is no indication that he was ever hospitalized or under a doctor's care for mental health issues. I agree though that this could turn into a major problem."

"We can't lose another Secretary of State, especially to an assassination," Matt shook his head somberly. "No one else is going to want the appointment."

"Not funny," Daisy scowled at him.

"Wasn't supposed to be," he kept his eyes on his laptop. "Did you send out the that tweet yet about Nadine being released from the hospital?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just checking," he answered. "Maybe we should follow it up tomorrow with something about her doing well."

"I don't know. I will talk to the Secretary at the morning meeting. Nadine was pretty definitive about not wanting too much press about what happened."

"She's not going to get much choice," Jay shook his head. "This is INTERNATIONAL news and it's not going to go away until they figure out why this guy went all the way to the UN from Philadelphia to try to kill Secretary McCord."

"I hate this," another email pinged on Daisy's laptop. "I have to go call this one, he needs to hear my no means no voice," she pushed herself out of her chair and went to her office.

"How are you doing man," Jay looked at Matt.

"I'm fine," Matt never looked up from his work.

"That was a really brave thing that you did yesterday." He paused and frowned at the fact that his friend seemed to be paying little attention to him. "I mean you could have gotten yourself in really bad shape."

"Yeah," Matt sighed, looked up, and leaned back in the chair. "I don't know man, I just had to do it. For the first time, I got to be the one who was actually able to make something better, make it happen you know. It was a good feeling to know I was helping. But like I said," he sat up and returned to his work. "If the shoe were on the other foot, she'd do the same for me."

Henry carefully unlocked the door to Nadine's apartment and pushed it open. His military and intelligence training made him survey the open area before walking inside. Stevie trailed after him with a duffle bag, garment bag, and a tote bag in hand. The apartment was grand and impressive. It had a modern and upscale feel. The furniture looked brand new but Henry could tell that it had been purchased some time ago. The kitchen was immaculate with only one rocks glass sitting in the sink to betray that anyone had ever been there. The windows looked out over the Potomac River giving a breathtaking view that Stevie was certain she could look at for hours and still not fully appreciate.

"Well," Henry smiled. "Looks like Nadine has very good taste. Shall we," he held out his hand for the tote bag.

"Right," she smiled. "You start in the bathroom. I will take the bedroom," she winked at her father who immediately blushed and averted his eyes. "Oh come on," she chuckled. "It's not like you've never seen another woman's bedroom or another woman's underwear."

"It's weird," Henry half growled at her. "Nadine is such a private person."

"I know," Stevie stopped and put her serious expression back on. "Besides, I think that she feels a little uncomfortable with the idea of staying with us and letting us help her. She looked really out of her element earlier."

"Yeah," Henry led the way down the hallway looking for the master bedroom. Luckily, it was the only thing to find on the first-floor other than a half-bath. "This is really a lot to deal with for her right now."

"I don't know what to say to her honestly," Stevie looked at the perfectly made bed before setting her empty bags on top of the comforter. "I mean, I really want to be able to say something that lets her know how grateful I am for what she did for mom. I just, I don't know if there are words for that."

"I know what you mean," Henry disappeared into the master bath. "I don't know that there are either."

"Did anyone ever save your life, when you were in the military," she called to him as she started to open drawers and pull out underclothes so as to finish that part of her task before her father finished his own.

"Well," Henry called back. "In a way, I suppose. Not the way they may have if I had been in the infantry but there were definitely gun battles with enemy planes and things like that and I had help from my buddies."

"What did you say to them," she asked as she hid the unmentionables away in the bottom of the duffle bag.

"That's the thing about the military," Henry answered. "You don't always have to say something. There is a lot of subtext just in how you shake hands with someone or in buying them a beer. It's hard to explain."

"I think I understand," Stevie moved on to another drawer and a less embarrassing element of her job. "Kind of like me and Jarath. I don't always have to say something I can just bring him a glass of wine and he knows that I want him to tell me what is bothering him."

"A little," Henry conceded. Stevie could hear the opening and closing of drawers from the bathroom. "On an unrelated note, I am so glad that Nadine is not your mom," he chuckled. "Everything has a place where it belongs and it is in that place."

"No digging required," Stevie asked with a smile.

"Right," Henry laughed. "You know, I think if we just do our best to be there for Nadine and help her however we can, she will understand how we feel. Even if we don't really have the words to tell her," he told his daughter as he appeared in the bathroom doorway.

"I think I have everything," Stevie laid several hangers inside the garment bag. "Can I see that list again?"

"Yeah," Henry set the full tote bag on the floor by the bed and handed Stevie his phone. "She has a pair of glasses on there and Blake wrote nightstand in parenthesis," Henry looked at the aforementioned piece of furniture. "They are probably in the drawer." He looked at Stevie who was consulting the phone and then the bags on the bed.

"Right," Stevie answered unaware of what her father was trying to convey.

"I don't see them laying on top," he said with an air of reluctance.

Stevie looked up from the phone and instantly recognized her father's expression. "Ah," she smiled. "You are uncomfortable venturing into uncharted territory?"

"Well, um," Henry tried to think of a reasonable explanation. "I…"

"No worries dad," she tossed him the phone and went to the nightstand. "Here they are," she pulled out a small glasses case and opened it to confirm its contents. "Oh," she reached back into the drawer, prompting Henry to turn his head away. "Relax," she laughed when she realized what he had done. "It's a book. Looks like she's in the middle of it."

"Oh," Henry turned back to face his daughter. "Right."

"Awfully jumpy dad," she smiled mischievously, placed the book in the duffle bag, and closed the drawer. "Did you get everything from the bathroom?"

"Yes," Henry nodded once and picked up the tote bag. "Let's get out of here huh?"

"Alright," Stevie smiled, zipped up her bags and followed her father out of the apartment.

Henry locked the door, slipped the key into his pocket, and took the duffle bag from Stevie. Together they rode the elevator down to the parking garage and headed out. They stopped at the pharmacy and Henry was able to pick up Nadine's prescription for pain medicine with the information that Blake had sent him. While he waited for the pharmacist to bring it to him, he thought about what Stevie had said. He desperately wanted Nadine to know that he felt indebted to her, but he didn't know how to do it. Had the advice he had given Stevie been right? Would it be enough just to help her through this and be there for her?

"Heading home," Stevie asked as Henry climbed back into the car.

"I think that we need to make one more stop," he smiled. "You know the surprise thing happening tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Stevie raised her eyebrows. "The one we are forbidden to speak of until it actually happens?"

"Right," Henry nodded. "I thought, maybe, it would be a good idea to have a really nice bottle of champagne on hand in case everything goes according to plan."

Stevie smiled wide and nodded. "Good idea. Make sure you pick up sparkling cider too, for Allison and Jason,"

"Good idea," Henry smiled.


	13. Chapter 13

Nadine woke to a soft tap on the door. She took in her surroundings not really remembering where she was. Hadn't it all been a dream. She found her arm in a sling and pain in her back to be the firm reminders of all that had happened yesterday. "Come in," she pushed herself up on the bed.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Bess pushed the door open holding the things that Henry and Stevie had retrieved from Nadine's apartment.

"It's alright," Nadine smiled sleepily. "If I spend all my time sleeping this morning, I won't sleep tonight like a normal person."

Elizabeth chuckled. "Since when is anyone who works on the seventh-floor beholding to a normal sleep schedule."

"I suppose you're right," Nadine rubbed her eyes.

Elizabeth laid the garment bag across the bottom of the bed and opened it up. She carefully unpacked it and spread the clothes in the closet. Then she folded up the bag and put it on the shelf above the rack. She went to the dresser and emptied the duffle bag into the drawers. Finally, she disappeared into the bathroom and emptied the contents of the tote bag onto the counter and into one of the drawers.

"I put some of your things in the top drawer in there. The rest is on the counter. Rearrange however you like of course."

"Thank you ma'am," Nadine frowned. "I could have managed."

"Elizabeth," Bess smiled at having to correct Nadine yet again. "And I know you could have. But you will still have to arrange it the way you want so I've only done some of the work," she stowed the duffle and tote bag in the closet with the others. "How are you feeling?"

"The pain meds are working," she smiled. "I feel very stiff and my back aches like you wouldn't believe, but it's not so bad."

"I'm glad," Bess sat down on the edge of the bed. "Here are your glasses and Stevie found your book you've been reading," she sat the items on the nightstand next to the bed. "It's noon," Bess smiled. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," Nadine frowned.

"What would you like?"

"I'm really not sure," Nadine shook her head.

"Well," Bess sighed. "What do you like Nadine? To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I've ever seen you eat anything besides salad and caviar. Perhaps the occasional breakfast pastry."

Nadine laughed. "I do like salad. I only eat caviar at those fancy parties I have to go to for work."

Bess laughed too. "You barely ate last night, I know you don't want a salad. What else do you like?"

"I don't know," Nadine shook her head. "I like a lot of things." She mulled over the question for a moment before meeting her boss's eyes. "You know, I think that I would really love a peanut butter and banana sandwich. I haven't had one in years."

Bess couldn't help but smile. "That sounds delicious. Milk?"

"Of course, what else?"

"Coming right up," Bess pushed herself up and headed out, closing the door behind her.

Nadine sighed. She still wasn't comfortable with the whole arrangement, but she was starting to accept that she needed help. She supposed that if she were going to lean on anyone from the office, the Secretary was her first choice. She loved the others, they were like her own children if she were being honest with herself. But the Secretary had been through more life; at least she supposed that was what made her Nadine's first choice. She slowly moved her legs over the side of the bed and stood to her feet. After a couple shaky steps, she made it to the bathroom and closed the door. After negotiating her business and washing her hands, she looked at the things the Secretary had left on the counter and began to move things around. She found the little bit of independence relieving but also somewhat satisfying. When she was content, she opened the drawer and located her hair brush. She quickly ran it over her black curls to combat the fact that they were beginning to frizz. She replaced the brush in the drawer and made a mental note to come back and straighten out the drawer later. She opened the door and made her way back out. She saw the chair sitting by the window and made her way to it. Henry had done a wonderful job, it was at just the right angle so that the sun didn't hurt Nadine's eyes but she could look out over the street and feel the warmth even if it was the middle of January.

There was another knock followed by the Secretary's voice. "Nadine?"

"Come in," Nadine called back.

Elizabeth pushed the door she had left unlatched with her hip and carried in a tray filled with food. "Here we go," she smiled when she looked up and saw Nadine sitting by the window. "I brought you some other stuff too, I didn't think a sandwich would be sufficient."

"Thanks," Nadine smiled as Bess pushed the door closed with her foot and brought the tray over and sat it on the ataman in front of the chair. "That is quite a feast," she scolded as she looked over the tray. There was the sandwich, an apple, a container of yogurt, a glass of milk, a bottle of water, a small plate of vegetables with ranch dressing in a bowl to dip them in, and an inexplicably large bowl of popcorn."

"Well," Elizabeth took the popcorn from the tray and sat down on the corner of the bed. "I thought I would sit and keep you company for a bit if you were feeling up to it."

"Sure," Nadine shook her head still regarding the large amount of food before her.

"I meant what I said at the hospital," Elizabeth broke the silence after Nadine sipped her milk and picked up her sandwich. "I think that we should get to know one another better."

Nadine took a bite of her sandwich and chewed it, carefully savoring the flavor before swallowing. "This is delicious."

"I'm glad you like it."

"The thing is ma…Elizabeth," Nadine corrected herself. "I am not a very exciting person and you know the most personal details of my life already. I have a son that I was estranged from for a decade. I was in a dance troupe, and I had an affair with my last boss who happened to be married."

Elizabeth chuckled. "That may be true, but how did you get into dance? And why did you stop?"

Nadine sighed and took another bite of her sandwich before answering. "Well, I was always fascinated by theatre and I wanted to be in it. I dabbled in high school plays and that but I really discovered dance in college I suppose. I took some class about choreography and there was a lot of things that I thought were really interesting. I met some people who danced together as a sort of club, a hobby. Well, I got involved and it just sort of took off from there. When I graduated with my bachelor's in history, my parents wanted me to go to law school. I wanted to tour Europe. My dance friends agreed with me and our advisor got us a gig in London. Sort of like a farewell gift, he managed to get the college to pay our way there. We were a huge hit. Practically overnight, we had an agent in London and gigs all over Europe at little clubs and mediocre village theatres."

"Wow," Bess was clearly impressed. "What kind of dance did you do?"

"All kinds," Nadine stared out the window. "We did break dancing shows, ballroom exhibitions, ballet, polka-comedy acts. There were a lot of experimental fusion pieces too like ballroom and polka or breakdancing and then traditional regional dances. Of course, we really got into that when we headed for the Soviet Union."

"The Soviet Union?"

"Yeah," Nadine frowned and had another bite and sipped her milk. "We made it all around the continent a couple times before we hung it up. A couple members of the troupe got married and wanted to settle down. I found out I was pregnant by another friend in the group. He freaked out, didn't want anything to do with me after that. So, we all sort of decided that the dream had come to an end."

"So, you came home and did your parents dream next?"

"Well," Nadine shook her head when she thought about the question. "The truth is, my parents disowned me, full on disowned me when I went to Europe. They handed me a letter the day I left saying that they never wanted to see me again and that I shouldn't contact them."

"Oh Nadine," Bess's smile had faded to a look of bewilderment.

"That of course is where my sister learned to hate me although we kept in touch off and on."

"I didn't mean to bring up bad memories," Elizabeth munched at her popcorn.

"It's alright," Nadine continued to eat the food on her tray. "The truth is that I decided if my parents could tell me to my face that they never wanted to see me again and they could tell me never to come back, then I didn't want to have them as an influence in my life anymore." She looked out the window and blinked hard a couple of times. "When Roman accused me of disowning him when we were in Myanmar to sign that trade agreement last month," she took a steadying breath. "I thought I might die right there at his feet. Of course, he has no idea what my parents did to me, but I realized that being estranged probably felt to him all that time the way I felt before resolving for myself that they were just damaged people who were a bad influence and who really didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I really hope that my son hasn't made that decision about me." She sipped her milk and then leaned back in the chair for a moment. "Anyway, I came home and applied to law school. I made it eventually, Roman was almost four before I finally finished."

"Law school, with a baby," Bess mused. "That's truly impressive. What law school did you go to?"

"Surely you know the answer to that," Nadine picked up the apple and began to chew it. "You read my file," she smiled and winked at her boss. "And you had me investigated.'

Elizabeth grimaced at the reminder of the days when she hadn't trusted the woman sitting here in tremendous pain because she had nearly died saving her. "Georgetown," she murmured. "That's really impressive."

"Especially back then," Nadine laughed. "I could have been the AG by now if I had a better sense of self-preservation. But alas," she shrugged. "I worked my way from one government job to another. I finally made it to the capital as a legal policy analyst for a congressman. That is where I met Vincent," she paused and conjured another dramatic frown. "Well, you know how that turned out."

"Right," Elizabeth stared at the woman who was looking back at her. "I ended up with an amazing chief of staff out of that deal."

"Thanks," Nadine chuckled. "I guess I was hungrier than I thought," she took the last bite of the apple in her hand and looked down at the tray. There was nothing left but the bottle of water and a sip of milk. "That was the best lunch I have had in a long time."

"Good," Bess nodded in satisfaction.

"So, why did you join the CIA?"

"Ah," Bess smiled at Nadine's attempts to turn the tables on her. "I was recruited by a professor my sophomore year of college. He thought I had a great capacity for deception," she laughed. "Anyway, I went in immediately. I was only an operative for a couple years. Low profile mostly. Just a quick jaunt to the middle east on spring break you know."

"I see."

"Dalton was there a year or two before and he was helping to run my ops. He moved up quickly, obviously. Anyway, they paid for grad school. I kept an eye on some shady professors who were helping to plan attacks. It was crazy to think that people like that were so close back then. Then I met Henry. I transitioned to analyst after graduation and the wedding. And when Allison was about six, Conrad wanted me to go to Baghdad for a station chief job. Henry and I fought about it. I decided to quit because keeping Henry and my kids was more important than my career to me. Anyway, we moved to the farm and Henry and I took teaching positions at UVA." She looked over and set her popcorn bowl on the now empty tray. "And you know how that turned out."

"Right," Nadine quipped. "You fell into a position as my boss."

"Pretty much," Bess laughed.

"Have you heard from the staff," Nadine suddenly shifted the conversation. "Does the FBI have anything new?"

"Yeah," Bess nodded. "Blake has been keeping me updated. "They have the guy's name, Cole Smith, and they know he was from Philadelphia. They still aren't sure why he did what he did. Apparently, it is slow going, there is no direct ties to State that they can find. I've never heard of him."

"The name means nothing to me," Nadine shook her head. "I just can't shake the feeling that he wasn't in this on his own or for himself," Nadine added quietly.

"I know," Elizabeth frowned. "I'll be happy when we have a fuller picture. I hope it is soon."

"Me too."

"Well," Bess got to her feet and picked up the empty tray. "I will get rid of this. Do you want or need anything else?"

"I'm good," Nadine smiled. "Thanks. I think that I am going to try to call Roman."

"Sure," Bess turned to leave. "Oh, the first night back after a business trip we order Chinese, kind of a weird tradition. Let me know what to order you."

"Alright," Nadine chuckled. She had just finished the biggest lunch she had had in a long time and the Secretary was already prodding her to make decisions about her next meal. "I'll think about it." She watched Elizabeth leave and gingerly negotiate closing the door behind her. Nadine went the nightstand and picked up her phone. She tried to call Roman's cell. It went straight to voicemail. "Hi Roman, it's me. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. I just wasn't up to it honey. I know Blake kept you updated about the hospital. Please call when you can. I love you." She hung up the phone and put it back on the table. "Well," she sighed. "Maybe he is at band practice or something." She put the phone down and looked around. She thought about reading, but she wasn't in the mood. She flipped on the television and found something she could listen to mindlessly while she organized her belongings.

"How was lunch," Henry asked when Bess appeared in the kitchen with the empty tray.

"Good," Bess answered as she cleared away the dishes into the dishwasher and the trash into the garbage can. "She's got an interesting story buried somewhere in there," she dusted the crumbs off the tray into the sink and sat it on the counter for later use.

"Most people do," Henry looked up from the magazine he was reading at the kitchen table.

"Yeah," Bess smiled in agreement before descending into his lap. "Did you know," she chuckled, "that she was in a dance troupe after college?"

"You told me that after Myanmar," Henry wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Yes," Bess nodded. "But did you think that meant that she did breakdance shows and polkas?"

"Breakdancing," Henry's eyes widened and a smile spread across his face. "No, I never dreamed that she could breakdance."

"Me neither," Bess laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you're getting to know her better," Henry kissed his wife's hair. "I feel like," he let out a sigh trying to decide on what words he wanted to use. "like maybe she needs someone."

"What do you mean," Bess straightened up to meet his eyes.

"Her apartment," Henry confessed. "It is so immaculate, but…it looks like there's never anyone there."

"Probably isn't," Bess frowned. "She puts in long days and longer nights more often than not."

"Yeah," Henry shook his head. "But, I don't know. Something about it just seemed sad when I was there."

Bess laid her head back on his shoulder and thought about what he said. Was Nadine really alone most of the time? That would be heartbreaking. But then, she had just said that she didn't really have any family. Maybe she truly was alone. Bess thought of how she might have reacted if she hadn't had her younger brother when their parents died; she didn't think it would have been the same. She knew that she would have lost her cool without her brother to lean on when she needed it and to be there for him when he needed the same. How could Nadine have made it through everything she had with little to no support from any one of the people that she was supposed to be able to depend on? She hoped that when her son came in tomorrow night that things would turn around for her chief of staff. "Babe," she said when she had thoroughly thought the thing to death. "I really love you."

"I love you too," he kissed her softly and squeezed her tight.


	14. Chapter 14

Henry carried Nadine down to the dining room for dinner after scheming with Elizabeth that she shouldn't be left in the guest room all the time. While Nadine still hated that Henry was carrying her up and down the stairs, she had to admit that she was grateful for the change of scenery. She enjoyed her dinner with the family and the kids had really made an effort to try to make her feel welcome. She thought of how awkward the whole situation must feel to them. After all, they could have lost their mother only a day ago and now they were having to work to be hospitable to a house guest that they did not really know anything about.

Once they had finished eating, Jason and Allison helped Stevie clear away the dishes and then adjourned to their rooms to do homework. Stevie insisted on clearing away the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. Henry, Bess, and Nadine sat at the table and made small talk. Nadine reveled in having someone to talk to for a change. When she wasn't working late at the office and consumed by the work needing done, she often had dinner alone in her apartment. She did go out on occasion with one friend or another, but her career left little time for a social life.

"So," Henry said when the trio was joined by Stevie again. "Nadine, I hope that Stevie and I managed to get everything you needed. Have you had a chance to check?"

"Yes," Nadine smiled politely. "I did a bit of rearranging," she side-eyed Elizabeth. "Thank you again for making the trip."

"It's no trouble," Henry shook his head.

"Your apartment is lovely," Stevie offered attempting to join the conversation. "And the view is breathtaking."

"Thank you," Nadine smiled at the young woman. "I don't get to enjoy it as often as I would like, but occasionally I do get to sit and watch the sunset, winter is the best time of year to do that."

"That sounds lovely," Henry nodded. "With the snow falling over the river and the bridges. I can only imagine."

"Yes," Nadine smiled as her mind drifted to when she had watched the sunset the day before they left for the UN. She had enjoyed a single malt and just watched as the sun had changed the sky into lovely shades of pink and purple. With the hues creating the illusion that the snow had changed as well. "It really is beautiful. I was fortunate enough to be home to see one a couple of nights ago. Of course, it is even better from the second-floor loft where I have my office."

"It sounds lovely Nadine," Elizabeth smiled.

"How are you feeling Ms. Tolliver," Stevie changed the subject.

"To be honest," Nadine frowned. "I am very sore at the moment. I think my body is staging a rebellion because of all my restrictions."

"Are you in pain, do you need your medicine," Elizabeth's voice was racked with concern.

"No, no," Nadine shook her head. "My incisions are fine, it is everything else. I have stopped moving and my body believes that I should feel my age apparently."

Stevie let out a short low chuckle. "I'm sure you will be up and running circles around mom again in no time Ms. Tolliver."

Nadine smiled. "Oh no, no one holds a candle to her in the office." Nadine smiled and turned to her boss. "And she does it in higher heels than mine too."

Elizabeth laughed. "But block heels. And Nadine runs her circles around us all in spikes. Seriously though, Stevie is right. This will be behind you before you know it, at least the physical part."

"I hope so," Nadine nodded. She turned to Henry and lowered her eyes in a bout of embarrassment. "Henry, I hate to rush you, but I am actually feeling quite tired."

"Of course," Henry stood and offered her his arm to help her pull herself out of her chair.

"Thank you," she took his arm and stood. Then she turned to Stevie and Elizabeth. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Ms. Tolliver," Stevie smiled. "Sleep well."

"Goodnight," Elizabeth echoed.

Henry escorted Nadine to the bottom of the stairs. She took a deep breath and placed her good arm around Henry's shoulders. He gave her a moment to steel herself for the motion of being picked up. Although it was the best way for her to get up and down the stairs, he knew that it put a certain amount of stress on her incisions that caused her discomfort. He did his best not to jostle her, but there was only so much that he could do with stairs. He picked her up gingerly and went up the steps, disappearing from view of his wife and oldest daughter.

"Thanks for doing all this Stevie," Elizabeth turned to her oldest and sighed.

"Of course," she smiled. "Hey, do you want a glass of wine?"

"Oh, yes please," Elizabeth heaved a sigh of relief. "That sounds perfect. Pour one for dad too," she called as her daughter went to the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of Cabernet and three glasses.

"Right," Stevie brought the things to the table and set the glasses down in front of her mother before opening the bottle and pouring. "How bad is it really mom?"

"What do you mean," Elizabeth watched with an odd feeling of melancholy as her daughter poured the wine. "How bad is what?"

"I mean how bad was she hurt," Stevie sat the bottle down and plopped back down in the chair next to her mother. "They have been playing the security camera tape endlessly on the news. It looks terrifying and really bad."

"The doctors said she was lucky," Elizabeth answered as she grabbed one of the glasses and took a long sip. "Everything ok," she asked as Henry reappeared and took the seat next to her and across from Stevie.

"Yeah," he retrieved one of the glasses. "She wasn't kidding, she fell asleep on the way upstairs. I put her in bed and pulled the blankets over her. She'll be fine. What are we talking about?"

"Mom was just telling me about how bad Ms. Tolliver's injuries actually were," Stevie finally retrieved her glass from the middle of the table in front of her mother and sipped it.

"Her shoulder was deep and needed a lot of stitches," Elizabeth continued. "Her back though," she shook her head. "They said it was close to the spine and that a piece of the knife actually broke off in her back," she shivered at the memory.

"Oh my God," Stevie's face contorted into a look of horror. "That's terrifying."

"Didn't you say that they had to give her a lot of blood too," Henry asked.

"Yep," Elizabeth took another long sip. "Matt actually staged a coup to make sure that she got enough of her own blood type. Basically, he forced them to take two pints of blood from him," she smiled at remembering his story.

"Matt," Henry's eyes widened as he pictured the usually timid and even shy speechwriter. "That must have been some scene."

Before Elizabeth could answer, there was a blood curdling scream from the second floor. "Nadine," Elizabeth cried as she jumped to her feet and bounded up the stairs. She ran to the guest room and burst through the door into the darkened room. She flipped on the light and found her chief of staff on the floor next to the bed. She was curled into a ball sobbing with her hands clenched in tight fists. "Nadine," Elizabeth tried to pull the woman's attention. "What is it," the concern evident in her voice as she bent down and touched Nadine's shoulder.

"Help me," Nadine cried out loudly. "Don't let him kill me."

Elizabeth realized that Nadine's eyes were squeezed tightly shut, she was having a nightmare. "It's ok, go on," she looked at Henry and all three kids standing in the doorway. "It's a nightmare, I'll stay with her a while."

"Right, come on guys," Henry shooed the children and pulled the door nearly closed.

"Nadine," Elizabeth gently shook the woman's uninjured shoulder. "Nadine wake up."

Nadine's eyes flew open and her eyes feverishly scanned the room. "Madam Secretary," she managed to choke out through sobs. "I'm so sorry."

"Easy Nadine," Elizabeth shook her head and pulled the woman into a sitting position. "Don't apologize. Are you hurt?"

"No," Nadine shook her head.

"Ok, let's get you off the floor then," Elizabeth looked at her sympathetically and helped her to her feet.

"He was trying to kill me," Nadine said absently as both women sat down on the edge of the bed. "Actually, he was succeeding," she was still crying.

"It's alright," Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Nadine and pulled her close. "You are safe now. You're ok."

Nadine wrapped her good arm around the secretary and let herself sob, the way that she had done earlier today. But now she knew exactly what she was feeling. She was terrified. It was irrational and she knew that, but even when she closed her eyes to sob, she could see the face of the man who had stabbed her. He always seemed like he was coming for her, knife at the ready. Only now she felt like there was no one there to stop him. Nadine felt herself shiver and she tried desperately to make herself as tiny as possible.

"Easy Nadine," the Secretary's voice was soft and soothing. "Honey, you have to breathe," she was lightly rubbing Nadine's back, being careful to avoid her incisions and the areas around them.

Nadine released the shaky breath she had been trying to hold in. "I can't do this. I can't get through this."

"You will," Elizabeth assured her as she continued to hold her. "It won't be easy and it will take time but you will get there."

"I can't," Nadine sobbed and pulled herself away from Elizabeth.

"Yes, you can," the Secretary's voice was more determined than ever before. "You can and you will. And I will be here to help you," she offered Nadine her hand.

Nadine shook her head and curled into a ball with her head resting on her pillow facing the door. "There isn't any point in it. There's no reason for me, or anyone else, to give a damn if I'm alright or not," she lashed out. "There is no one."

"There is. There is plenty of reason," a voice Nadine found familiar drifted through the air.

Both women looked up in surprise. There was a man standing in the doorway with Henry that Elizabeth had never seen before.

"Our guest came in a day early," Henry offered by way of explanation for his wife.

"Roman," Nadine sat up and stared at the stranger in disbelief. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes were glued to the man standing in the doorway.

His expression softened from one of horror to one of sad understanding. "My mother was attacked and badly hurt, how could I stay away." He slowly crossed the room and knelt beside the bed in front of her. He gently took her good hand with one of his and with the other smoothed away her tears. "I love you," he never broke eye contact and spoke in a whisper.

Elizabeth stood up and walked over next to Henry. Neither one of them were sure what to do. They knew there was a tenuous relationship between Nadine and her son, so they felt obligated to wait and see what happened next. Nadine stared at her son. He had just uttered words that she had not heard him say in over ten years. Even when she had said those words to him a month ago, he had not returned them to her. Thoughts and emotions swirled in her mind as she tried to understand what he had said, what it had meant, and why he had come all the way here to see her. They had exchanged three phone calls since seeing each other in Myanmar, she hardly thought they were to the point that he would go to such lengths or feel such things.

"Mom," Roman's voice broke through her trance. "Mom, are you still here," he searched her eyes.

"Oh Roman," she threw her good arm around his neck. "I love you too."

"Let's go," Henry whispered and put a guiding hand on Bess's back and led her back down to the dining room.

"Wow," she flopped down in her chair and picked up her wine again. "How?"

"Not sure," Henry fell down next to her. "He just said that Blake got him an earlier flight. He took his fiancé to the hotel, got her situated for the moment and came here. He said that he wanted to talk to Nadine as soon as possible and to be here for her as soon as he could."

"That doesn't really sound like a son who has only spoken to his mother four times in the past ten years, all of them in the past month," Bess looked at Henry.

"I don't know," Henry shook his head. "I guess maybe we will find out later."

"I don't understand," Nadine pushed herself away from her son when Elizabeth and Henry had gone. "I mean, I can't believe that you came all this way."

"I had to," Roman lowered his gaze. "You are my mother and I wanted to be here for you. I…" he felt his breath hitch but forced himself to continue. "I have to tell you some things and we will have a long talk, but something happened that made me realize how wrong I've been. Mom," he took her hand again in both of his and slowly raised his eyes to meet hers. "Mom, I am so, so sorry."

She bent down and kissed her forehead. "No sweetheart, I'm sorry." She sat up and pulled his hands up, beckoning him to sit on the bed with her.

"I'd really love to hug you, but I don't want to hurt you."

"It's ok," she felt tears, these ones full of joy, welling in her eyes now and laid her head on his chest. "it doesn't hurt too much right now anyway."

Roman held her hand and thought for a moment. Then he gently released her hand. He put one around her waist and grasped her around the knees with the other. Then he gently lifted her onto his lap and rested his arms around her waist above her hips. "How about that?"

The tears slid down her cheeks and she simply nodded, never moving her head from his chest. "Tell me everything," she managed.

"That might take a while," Roman smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Shouldn't you get some rest."

"I'm not tired anymore," Nadine lied. "Besides, I don't want to waste any more time."

"Alright," he glanced around the room. "Do you mind if we move this to that chair though," he nodded to the chair that Henry and Jason had brought in earlier.

"Alright," Nadine went to move, but Roman stopped her.

"Good," he lifted her up and moved around to the chair. He sat down, propped his feet up of the ataman and pulled his mother closer to him. "How's that?"

She put a gentle hand on his shoulder and finally looked up at him. "Perfect," she smiled. "How did you even know where to find me?"

"The Secretary has a wonderful assistant," Roman smiled. "He took care of everything for the trip and he helped me get here sooner than I originally planned. I guess he forgot to let the McCords know about that."

Nadine chuckled. "Blake is very good at what he does."

Roman nodded. "He kept me updated while you were in the hospital. I was impressed that he found a way to get in touch with me at all."

"I'll have to remember to thank him the next time I see him," she put her head back on her son's shoulder. "This is the best thing I could ever imagine."

"Mom," Roman tilted his head to look down at her. "About those things I needed to tell you…"

"What is it," she sat up with a sense of alarm.

"It's ok," he assured her and squeezed her tighter. "But I wanted you to know that I've accepted a new job. Actually," he frowned. "I had planned to give you a call after your trip to New York."

"What is it?" Nadine was still not totally convinced that everything was ok.

"Well, it is a job for a sound effects studio," he said and then smiled roguishly. "A sound effects studio that has an office in Alexandria."

"Virginia," Nadine could hardly contain her excitement.

Roman nodded. "Well, it isn't in Egypt."

"You mean, you are going to be living in the area?"

"That's right," he nodded again. "So, I am hoping that we will have a lot more time together. A lot of time to try to make up for lost time."

Nadine hugged his neck. "Oh yes," she murmured in agreement.

"There's more," he continued after a moment. "I tell you mom, that Blake is really amazing. He even cleared up a little problem I had run into with trying to fly Shindy over here with me."

"Shindy came with you?"

"Yep," he smiled down at her. "She is at a hotel right now. She had to come though, I mean, after all, she did agree to marry me."

"That's wonderful," Nadine smiled. "She seemed like such a lovely girl when we talked."

"She really is, and you will have plenty of time to get to know her too. She is really looking forward to being closer to you." He shifted and moved one hand to his back pocket. "The last thing I need to tell you, tonight anyway," he pulled a piece of paper from the pocket and looked down at Nadine. "is this," he handed it to her.

Nadine took the paper and turned it over revealing an ultrasound photo labeled 'Baby Tolliver – 3 months.' "Roman," she looked up at him in disbelief. "You mean…"

"We found out right after you left Myanmar. But then there were doctor confirmations and ultrasounds. We wanted to wait to tell you until I heard about the job back here."

"Oh Roman," she kissed his cheek and pressed the ultrasound to her chest. "I am so happy for you and Shindy too."

"I'm really glad," he kissed her forehead. "I'm excited to be a dad," his voice got low and he turned his face away from her.

"There is nothing like being a parent," she said frowning at his sudden disconnect. "I hope that you and I can work through this and I can be there for you and Shindy and your baby."

"Mom," she could hear the cracking in his voice. "Mom, I really want you there. I want that kid to know the he, or she," he added quickly. "has the best grandma in the entire world and that she is the bravest, strongest woman around."

"Roman," she took his chin in her hand and gently pulled his face back to look at her. "Why don't we go downstairs and get some coffee. Obviously, we have things we need to talk about," she felt a tear slide down her own cheek.

"We have time," he shook his head. "I should go get Shindy. And you need to rest," he kissed her forehead again.

Nadine nodded and Roman picked her up and moved her back to the bed. She scooted under the blankets and he pulled them up around her. She grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "When will you be back?"

"The Secretary was gracious enough to offer Shindy and I a place to stay while you are here with them. I am just going to go pick her up and bring her back. I will be here when you wake up in the morning." He brushed her hair off her face and stood to leave.

"Don't forget this," she nodded to the sonogram photo she was holding in her slinged hand.

"You hold on to that," he smiled. "I have my own in my wallet."

"Roman," she smiled up at him. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he blew her a kiss the way she had done when he was a little boy, turned off the light, and closed the bedroom door on his way out. Nadine's eyes adjusted to the dark and she placed the sonogram on top of the book that the Secretary had left on the nightstand for her. When she closed her eyes, there were no more dark villains or nefarious killers. There were pictures of a wedding and a baby. Nadine playing peekaboo with a grandchild. She and Roman were talking and laughing. It was as if his arms were still draped around her waist. She didn't know what had made him have such a drastic change of heart, but she decided it didn't matter. Her son was here, he was staying, and he was going to let her be a part of his own child's life. She drifted into peaceful dreams about the future and slept soundly through the night.


	15. Chapter 15

"Dr. McCord, Madam Secretary," Roman quietly announced his presence in the dining room.

"Roman," Henry stood from the table. "Have a seat. And, call me Henry pal," he smiled.

"Thank you," Roman moved toward the table.

"Roman," Elizabeth stood up and offered her hand. "It's so good to meet you, I'm Elizabeth."

"It really is a pleasure," he smiled and shook her hand. "Thank you so much for taking care of all of the arrangements. I really appreciate that."

"Of course," Elizabeth smiled. "How is your mom?"

"Better now I think," Roman nodded and they all sat down. "I told her that I would bring Shindy back with me, I hope that is alright."

"Of course," Henry nodded. "We had the girls plan to bunk together so you would have a place to stay for as long as your mother is with us. Stevie is up moving her things now."

"Thank you," he lowered his eyes. "My mom and I have a lot of lost time to make up for."

"I'm glad that you two are working things out," Elizabeth lightly touched his arm. "Would you like some wine."

"No, thank you," he nodded. "I really should go get Shindy."

"Yes," Henry nodded. "Bring her back and we can talk then."

"Right," Roman pushed himself out of the chair and headed out the door.

"Wow," Henry sighed when the door closed. "That was crazy good timing."

"It really was," Elizabeth nodded.

"Did Blake ever answer that text you sent him," Henry nodded to the phone in front of her.

Elizabeth picked it up and looked at the screen. "Oh yeah," she chuckled. "He said: OMG so sorry ma'am. I was able to get an earlier flight like you asked. Shindy had passport and VISA issues. I was distracted. It will never happen again."

"Sounds like you rattled him pretty good," Henry gave a sly smile. "Scary boss."

"Right," she answered sarcastically. "He's probably going to send like ten more apology texts."

"He does realize that you actually meant thank you when you texted him right?"

"Yes," she nodded. "But it's the nature of the perfectionist."

"I suppose," he conceded. "I take it you never met Roman until tonight either?"

"No," she shook her head. "I haven't met the girl either, this is so exciting."

"Hey guys," Stevie appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Can I crash this wine party again," she asked holding up the wine bottle.

"Heck yeah," Elizabeth smiled and nodded to the chair she had occupied before. "Dad and I are just waiting for Nadine's son to come back with his fiancé."

"That will be cool," Stevie nodded and filled her glass. "I take it then that the surprise went well for Ms. Tolliver."

"Apparently," Henry nodded. "That's why we're waiting, to be nosey."

"I thought that wasn't happening until tomorrow night," she frowned.

"Blake got them an earlier flight," Elizabeth sighed. "He just forgot to mention it."

"So many muffins meeting you at the elevator tomorrow morning," Stevie laughed. "Good thing that Allie and I already had most of my stuff moved into her room."

"Thanks again for giving up your space," Elizabeth sighed. "I just think it is really important that Roman stay really close to his mom right now."

"All good," Stevie frowned. "I just moved the last of my stuff to Allie's room, changed the sheets and laid out fresh towels for him and his fiancé."

"Good job kiddo," Henry high fived his daughter.

"So mom," Stevie sipped her wine. "You were telling dad and I a story about Matt giving blood."

"Right," Elizabeth chuckled and started to relay the story of Matt's blood donation. After about a half an hour, the landline rang. It was security telling the Secretary that Roman was back with Shindy.

"Come on in," Henry went to the door and let them in.

"Thanks," Roman smiled and guided Shindy through the door. "Henry, this is my fiancé Shindy.

"Hi Shindy," Henry offered his hand. "Come on in and meet Elizabeth and Stevie," he waved them into the dining room. "Here Roman," he put his hand out. "I will take those bags upstairs for you."

"Roman," Elizabeth met him in the dining room. "And you must be Shindy," she shook the small woman's hand. "I'm Elizabeth."

"Nice to meet you," Shindy smiled.

"This is my daughter Stevie," Elizabeth pointed to her daughter who was standing behind her now. "She is our oldest."

"Hi," Stevie shook both their hands. "Pleasure to meet you both."

"Come on in, have a seat," Elizabeth beckoned them to the table. "Can I get you anything? Drinks? Food?"

"I would love some water," Roman smiled. "Sweetie?"

"Yes, thank you," Shindy nodded and took a seat next to Roman.

"I'll get that," Stevie disappeared into the kitchen.

"I am so glad that you are both here," Elizabeth sighed and sank back down into her chair. "I know that this is going to mean so much to Nadine."

"Has she been ok since I left," Roman asked with a faint sense of urgency in the question.

"I just poked my head in," Henry reappeared through the kitchen with Stevie. "She is sound asleep."

"Good," Elizabeth nodded. "Whatever you said must have done the trick."

"I hope so," Roman sipped the water in front of him. "I told her that we were moving to Virginia and that she was going to be a grandma."

"She is," Stevie's face lit up. "Congratulations, that is so great."

"Wow," Henry grinned. "That is exciting news."

"Thank you," Shindy smiled, she was taken aback by the kind hospitality of these people who had taken her into their home. She had never met anyone so kind, other than Roman of course. "We are so happy."

"How far along are you," Elizabeth was clearly picturing all things baby, she loved babies.

"Four months," Shindy smiled. "I am starting to show, none of my clothes fit, and I am dying to know whether it is a boy or a girl. But I haven't been sick in a week and I am one-day closer to being a mom. So there's an upside."

"I'm sure that Nadine is so excited," Elizabeth nodded.

"She sure was," Roman nodded. "I told Shindy this was just the excuse she needed to go shopping the minute we got settled."

'That is true," Stevie grinned. "In fact, if you would like, I will be free tomorrow afternoon. I could take you shopping and show you around a bit if you are up to it."

"Really," Shindy looked at Roman for his blessing. "that would be so great. Thank you."

"Sure," Stevie smiled. She was struck by the fact that Shindy and Roman were clearly not much older than her. She suddenly found herself wondering how long she might have stayed angry at her mother a few years ago if her grandfather hadn't lied to her about being on his union's board and being able to help her get a job. She wondered if she and her mother might have ended up in a similar position as Roman and Nadine, it would take a baby or some other drastic life event to make them want to bury the hatchet. A month had driven her mother crazy; she wondered how long Roman and Nadine had been estranged.

"I am sure that you two are exhausted," Henry broke in. "Don't feel like you have to sit and talk with us now, we have plenty of time."

"Actually," Shindy smiled. "I am not very tired. "It's the middle of the day back home."

"Yeah. I'm pretty wired from my talk with mom. I wouldn't mind a shower though, as long as that's ok."

"Of course," Elizabeth smiled. "Henry can show you where to go."

Henry and Roman disappeared upstairs while Elizabeth, Stevie, and Shindy continued to talk. They talked about the baby and the proposal. Shindy seemed genuinely excited to be moving to the United States and she was thrilled at the chance to get to know Nadine better. Elizabeth used the opportunity to try to pry but realized that Shindy did not know much about the issues between Roman and Nadine, at least not that she let on. Eventually, Henry reappeared and Roman appeared twenty minutes later. Shindy decided a bath was in order for her too. A full day of flying and a couple restless hours at the hotel had begun to sink in and take their toll. Eventually they all retired to their respective bedrooms and Stevie crept in to Allison's room.

"Well, our house is at full capacity," Henry joked as he plopped down next to Elizabeth in bed.

"It sure is," she smiled and tossed her arm across his stomach. "I kind of like it."

"Me too. Roman and Shindy seem great. I think it will be good for Nadine," he kissed her softly.

"I hope so," she nuzzled his shoulder. "I really hope so."


	16. Chapter 16

Sunlight shown through the sheer drapes and woke Nadine. She thought that it must have been a dream. There was no way that Roman would have flown all this way and held her. He wouldn't come back to the states and tell her he was going to live that close. She shifted onto her side to push herself up and caught a glimpse of the sonogram photo laying on top of her book. It was real. Roman had been here, Roman had told her all those things. There was a quiet knocking at the door.

"Come in," Nadine pushed herself up straight in bed.

"Good morning," Elizabeth appeared in the doorway. I thought you might like to come down and have breakfast with us.

"Are Roman and Shindy here," she asked excitedly.

"Of course," Elizabeth smiled. "You'll need to rescue Roman from Jason. He's down there grilling him about what it was like to live in Myanmar."

Nadine laughed. "Boys are always intrigued by things that scare the daylights out of their mothers."

"You're telling me," Bess smiled. "Shall I get Henry or did you want some time to get ready?"

"I need to at least brush my hair." Nadine looked up at Elizabeth. "I would really like to take a real shower today." She started to blush.

"Don't worry," Elizabeth smiled. "I will be here for a while."

Nadine nodded and then walked past the woman to get her hair brush. She quickly worked it through her black curls. "Did you have a chance to talk to Roman?"

"A bit last night when he brought Shindy back," Bess answered from the bedroom. "He's seems like a very fine young man," Bess thought a moment. "and Shindy is a lovely girl."

"Yes," Nadine emerged and found Elizabeth making the bed. "Roman told me that I'm going to be a grandmother."

"That's exciting," Bess tried to hide the fact that this was old news to her. "I am so happy for you."

"You knew," Nadine frowned.

"Yes," Bess confessed. "But I'm still thrilled for you. That will be an adventure."

"It sure will," Nadine nodded. "Would you mind helping me with this," Nadine held out a hair tie. "I think it will make me feel less of a mess."

"Sure," Elizabeth took the hair tie and moved behind Nadine. She deftly gathered her short black curls together and gently smoothed her fingers through her hair before securing it all up in a high ponytail. "How's that?"

"Great," Nadine didn't turn around. "Thank you Elizabeth."

"Well, I'll get Henry," she bounced out of the room. "Babe," she called to the man at the stove from the middle of the back staircase. "Nadine is ready when you reach a logical stopping point."

"Right," Henry nodded and looked at Stevie to take over the eggs he was cooking.

"I got this," she smiled and took the spoon.

"She is ready for what," Roman's question made them all stop and take stock of each other.

"Oh," Henry smiled. "Your mom can't walk down the steps right now, doctor's orders. So, I just bring her down and take her back up."

"I didn't know," Roman shook his head. "I will go and bring her down."

"Are you sure," Bess asked.

"Of course," Roman smiled. "By the way, I don't think that I ever thanked you all for taking care of her this way, and us," he looked at Shindy.

"Yes," she stood next to Roman. "We are very grateful," she managed through her heavily accented English.

"Of course," Elizabeth smiled. "Like we told her, it is the least we could do. And," she looked around the room. "New rule, no more thanking us for stuff. Let's just all agree we are all grateful for all the things."

"Motion seconded," Henry pointed to his wife.

"Come on," Bess smiled and beckoned Roman up the stairs. "Well," she looked at Nadine who was standing outside the bedroom door. "Seems you have a new escort," she gestured at Roman who was following along behind.

Nadine beamed. "Roman!"

"Good morning Mom," he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek.

"I thought you were a dream," she whispered. "Thanks for leaving the picture for me."

"Come on," he scooped her up. "We don't want to let that amazing breakfast Dr. McCord is cooking get cold." He trotted down the front stairs with Elizabeth following after him. "I hear you can take it from here," He smiled and put her back on her feet at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes I can," she smiled. "Bet you didn't know what you were in for when you came in early."

"Doesn't matter," he answered sincerely. "I'm glad to be here and I'm glad to help."

"Good morning Nadine," Henry smiled as she and Roman walked into the kitchen together, Bess still trailing after them.

"Good morning Henry," she nodded.

"Nadine," Shindy smiled and crossed the floor to stand before the older woman. "It is good to see you again, I wish it were nicer circumstances," she hugged the woman loosely hoping not to aggravate her injuries.

"Shindy," Nadine squeezed her softly. "I am so glad you're here. And congratulations. I am so excited for you and Roman."

Shindy released Nadine and wrapped an arm around Roman's waist. "I am very happy."

Breakfast was a whirlwind. Jason and Allison both inhaled their food the moment it hit their plates, said their goodbyes, and headed for school. Stevie took a bit longer but she had to get to her own classes this morning. She promised Shindy that she would be home by noon and that anyone, she had paused and looked directly at Nadine, should text her if they needed her to bring anything home or needed her to come home early. Henry picked at his food and took everything in stride. Bess was asking Shindy about plans for the wedding and what sights she wanted to see first. Nadine and Roman spoke very little but they seemed to be watching each other intently. Henry pondered how hard it must be to repair something that had withered to almost nonexistence until a mere month ago. He had never been close with his father, but he had never been as far from him as it seemed Roman and Nadine had been from one another. More than that, it seemed that there was something really bothering Roman.

"Breakfast was very good," Shindy smiled at Henry. "I have never had such a feast."

"I'm glad that you liked it," Henry smiled. "What are your plans for the day," he asked.

"I am going to do some shopping," she smiled. "Your daughter was gracious enough to offer to go with me this afternoon. Like I said last night, I have found that I need some new clothes." She cradled her stomach symbolically.

"Wait a few more months," Elizabeth smiled. "They grow very fast from the very beginning."

"Yes they do," Nadine looked from Shindy to Roman.

"I have some errands to run this morning," Roman clearly felt uneasy. "I need to go pick up some things that we had shipped over last week and find a place to put them in storage."

"I can help you with that," Henry was quick to offer. "Bess doesn't have to go in until the afternoon so I have the time," Henry rose from the table and started clearing dishes away.

"Thank you Dr. McCord," Roman quickly followed suit in an effort to make himself useful.

"What was Elizabeth's new rule," Henry shot the young man a smile. "And it's Henry."

"Henry," Roman nodded and placed the dishes in the sink. "I forgot, but I appreciate it."

"Great," Henry smiled. He felt like he was seizing an opportunity to talk to the younger man just man to man. He thought he might be able to offer his help with whatever was vexing the boy. "I'll finish these and then we can head out."

"Is that alright with you sweetheart," he squeezed Shindy's shoulders.

"I am very tired anyway," she nodded and yawned. "I didn't sleep much last night."

"Jet-lag," Elizabeth shook her head. "It's terrible."

"Indeed," Shindy smiled.

Roman excused himself to change before they left. Henry finished clearing the dishes and loading them into the dishwasher. Elizabeth, Nadine, and Shindy all continued to sip coffee and discuss wedding plans. Roman returned a mere fifteen minutes later. Henry patted Nadine on her good shoulder and kissed Elizabeth goodbye. Roman kissed Shindy and gave his mother a peck on the cheek before following Henry out the door to the car.

"I am sorry," Shindy shook her head. "I really think I ought to lay down."

"Don't apologize," Bess noticed that Nadine smiled wider than she had ever seen her do before. "We completely understand."

Shindy nodded and made her way up the stairs.

"Oh shoot," Bess frowned when Shindy was gone.

"What is it," Nadine sipped her coffee.

"Steps," Bess looked at her.

"Oh," Nadine frowned. "You know, everything just seemed so great this morning. I really never thought of it after I was down here."

"I'm glad that you and Roman are getting along," Bess decided to let the fact that no one had carried Nadine back upstairs go and wade into Nadine's personal life instead. "I didn't know what to expect when he got here."

"Did Blake tell you that he was coming in earlier than planned?"

"No," Bess shook her head. "I texted him last night. Of course he is in profuse apology mode, so my office will be flooded with coffee and muffins and scones when I go in today."

"Something tells me that is not going to bother you," Nadine chuckled.

"Not in the least," Elizabeth rose from the table and put her coffee cup in the sink. "Well, when you're ready we can go up and take care of that other chore you were talking about earlier."

"I'm ready," Nadine smiled and handed Elizabeth her own empty coffee mug. "But how do you intend to get me up the stairs now." She smiled impishly.

"Plan B," Elizabeth smiled having given the answer no thought at all. "You know, I think I just realized part of why you are always so organized and driven to get things done right the first time."

"Oh," Nadine failed to see the connection.

"That face you made. You're never a fan of Plan B, are you?"

"Generally not," Nadine shook her head. "And I have a feeling that is going to be true today too."

"Oh, I can pretty much guarantee that," Elizabeth sighed.

"Thank God I have a follow up with my doctor tomorrow," she smiled. "Hopefully he will let me walk the stairs on my own."

"You can dream it," Elizabeth conceded.

"What's the plan?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: So, the next two chapters are a little long but I promise that they are worth the time. So many questions answered and so many feels. Enjoy!

"So," Henry waded carefully into his talk with Roman. "You have a lot going on right now. Are you doing ok," he asked as he drove toward the shipping company.

"Honestly," Roman took Henry by surprise; he had been prepared to have to drag anything out of the younger man. "I have no idea. Mostly about what to do about mom. I mean, I want us to have a real relationship again, but I'm afraid I've done too much wrong. And, I really have no idea where to start."

"I'm happy to listen if you want to talk about it," Henry answered honestly, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I have been really stupid," Roman blurted out. "And I cannot imagine how badly I must have hurt her."

"What do you mean," Henry prodded.

"We only got back in touch about a month ago," he shook his head. "Before that we hadn't spoken in nearly ten years."

"That's a long time," Henry conceded. "Elizabeth mentioned that Nadine saw you while they were in Myanmar and that your mom said you hadn't spoken in a while."

"Yeah," Roman agreed. "I dropped out of Julliard in my sophomore year and we fought. She told me that she was cutting me off. Of course, she didn't take my calls right away. So, I was staying with my dad."

"Sure," Henry shrugged. "Makes sense."

"Yeah well, it should have. But see, the whole time she wasn't talking to me, like a month, my dad was in my ear. I was nineteen and he was telling me how she had pushed him away, how he hadn't seen me the first eight years of my life, how she had torn his heart out and stomped on it."

"Is that all true," Henry was genuinely puzzled by the accusations. "Sorry, that just doesn't sound like the Nadine I know."

"Well," Roman sighed. "He did not see me the first eight years of my life. When I was eight, almost nine, my mother came to me and said she had to apologize. She said that she had been keeping me away from my dad for the past few months and that he wanted to see me. She said that if I wanted to see him, she would set it up and I could spend whatever time I wanted with him."

"That's tough," Henry shook his head.

"Well, I was excited. There was this camping trip at school for fathers and sons and I had been so upset I had no one to go with. Then this all just dropped out of thin air and it was kind of like Christmas. Anyway, she took me to see him and from then on, any time I wanted to see him she would drive me to his place or wherever we were meeting to do something. He had a girlfriend and probably six months after I met my dad, they were getting married. I got to be in the wedding and she had a big house with a pool so I spent a lot of time there."

"Sounds like a great thing," Henry nodded to show he was still paying attention.

"A little later, the new wife is pregnant and I go home one night telling mom all about how I am going to have a baby brother or sister. She was happy for me and let me talk my head off. Long story short by kid three there are problems and she leaves my dad, but by now I'm like fourteen so I get it. Well, my dad tried to get my mom to take him back. She turns him down flat and he gets super weird and angry about it but lets it drop after like a week. That was the only part I never understood. I mean I wanted her to say yes, but I knew she wouldn't and I think he did too deep down at least. So, I didn't understand what made him so mad."

"Still, that had to be brutal," Henry briefly glanced over at the young man telling the story.

"Ehh," he shrugged. "I still hung out with my dad and my siblings and we still did all kinds of cool stuff together as far as I was concerned. My mom never tried to stop me or persuade me not to go with him. Anyway, I am all set to graduate at the top of my class and I really want to be a musician. Mom is thrilled and says I should apply to Julliard. Well, I know there is no way that either of my parents could afford that and I never had a job so I was skeptical. But my dad encourages it. Now, he tells me that he was in a dance troupe so he gets my passion for art."

"I didn't know that your dad was in the troupe too," Henry interjected. "Honestly, I don't know that much about it, but Elizabeth mentioned that your mom was in a dance troupe."

"Right, which I didn't know until this came about because my mom had been a legal consultant or a government lawyer or a policy analyst the whole time I could remember. I had never asked her about before, because, I never really thought to. So, he tells me how mom was in this troupe with him and it had been her dream to go to Julliard and make a career as a dancer. He tells me she knows what she is talking about so if she is selling I should buy. Besides, I was a good student so I will probably get a scholarship. So, I did. I got in, I got a scholarship, and mom reveals that she has all this money saved up for me to go to school. I'm over the moon."

"So what happened?"

"Well, first of all the place is teaming with snobs and my mother didn't raise me to be like that. But more than that, I just didn't feel like I was thriving. I felt like I was moving backward and losing my passion. The truth is, I felt that from the second month I was there. But I made myself stick it out the first year and one more semester. I took a bunch of classes that dealt with the business angles of making music and logistics of sound engineering for concerts. Then, I dropped out."

"Begin downhill slide," Henry nodded.

"Right. So, mom and I fight. I don't really explain my thought process because I think I'm an adult and it's my decision and my business. Anyway, I pack my stuff back up and head to my dad's when she says she is cutting me off. I figure, no big deal, she will get over it. He is happy to have me and tells me he totally understands because school wasn't his bag either and he probably wouldn't have finished if his parents hadn't made him. He never asked me to explain to him why I left and I liked that. Then like I said, he starts telling me all this stuff when I tell him that mom isn't talking to me. A month later she calls to talk to me and she tries to apologize. I scream at her and hang up. First, she tried every day, then every other. After a few months, it was once a week, then after two years twice a month. Eventually, probably two years ago, she only called and left me messages telling me happy birthday, Happy Thanksgiving, and Merry Christmas. I would never answer and never call back."

"Sounds like she kept trying though."

"Yeah," Roman answered sadly. "She did. When she said she was coming to Myanmar, I texted her my address, but I lost my nerve before she showed up. I hid in the bedroom while she talked to Shindy at the door. Shindy was trying to persuade me to go see her but I still didn't want to. I was going to let her leave Myanmar without talking to her or seeing her. I thought I had every right to make her suffer, and just from the tone of her voice I knew I hurt her by not being there when she came to the house. Then that whole hostage thing happened."

"Sometimes things like that have a way of making you look at things differently."

"I was terrified and I didn't understand why so I went to talk to her. I figured, hey, maybe my thing is that I have every right to hurt her but I'm the only one with that right. The talk really didn't go too well. I accused her of disowning me and she got really defensive and said that cutting me off financially was different. But, then she sort of gave up the fight and just asked if we could try and I said yes. I heard the words come out and I didn't understand. I didn't want to try, but I figured we would both just fall back into the old habits. She told me she loved me," he paused. "I didn't say it back; I didn't feel it, at least I didn't think I did."

"So what changed your mind, the new job?"

"No," Roman shook his head. "I had already put in for that. A couple days after she left Myanmar, Shindy comes to me and says she is sick and asks if I will go with her to a doctor. Of course I go, and I insist that she let me take her to an American run clinic. That's when we found out she was pregnant."

"Oh," Henry smiled. "And?"

"Well, I'm over the moon. And when I laid down to sleep that night I thought to myself, I don't care what it takes. I could never imagine leaving Shindy or her leaving me, but I thought even if she did, I would never let her do to me what my mom did to my dad. I would never let her keep my own child away from me for eight years. All of the sudden, something set a switch off in my mind. My mom's words from when I was eight years old started ringing in my ears. She said that she had kept me away from my dad for a few months."

"Something didn't sit right with that?"

"No, if my dad had been excited like me, and what dad wouldn't be right, he would have been trying for years not months. So, I called him. I told him he was going to be a grandfather."

"I'll bet he was excited."

"Well, that was the thing. He sort of freaked out and told me I was too young. He said Shindy and I had plenty of time for that later. I already had applied for the job in Virginia and I was pretty sure I would get it and so I told him about it, thinking maybe it would put him at ease a little. He said it didn't matter where we were in the world, it was still too soon. Didn't we want to live our lives first, we would be far better off if we had waited another five years. I was confused and then I realized. I am four years older than my mom was when she got pregnant with me. In five years, I will be as old as my dad was the first time I met him. That also happens to be how old he was when he got married and younger than when they had my brother."

"Wow," Henry shook his head as he pulled the car into a parking space. "That's really heavy."

"Yeah," Roman sighed. He momentarily stopped the story and they went inside and handled business but when he got the crates to the back of the SUV he began talking again as he and Henry loaded them inside. "So, I was really mad and I called my dad back. I confront him and he insists that my mother kept him away. So I ask if he was there when she was pregnant and he says of course. They had a falling out just before I was born. I ask him why my name is Roman, because surely he knows. My mother had that name picked out almost from day one if I was a boy; it was her grandfather's middle name. He died in Auschwitz. Anyway, my dad has no idea. I asked where she lived when she was pregnant and he says he doesn't remember. I ask why mom suddenly let me see him and he says he doesn't know, she just did. She called him out of the blue one day to set up the meeting."

"No good answers," Henry maneuvered the last crate into the back of the Jeep.

"Right. So, he made this big deal about how she is petty and when they fought her response was to keep me away from him. I ask why she didn't do that when I was fourteen and they fought about getting back together. He says I was old enough then that she knew she couldn't get away with it. I hang up the phone and talk to Shindy about it. Then she said something that just made everything fall into place."

"Women have that superpower," Henry chuckled. "What was it?"

"She said that it sounded like my dad was the one who had the problem with my mom. When I didn't understand she said the way I explained it to her, it sounded like my dad had a lot of bad things to say about my mom but I hadn't told her what my mother had said when all this was going on. I realized that my mother had never torn my father down to me. She had never lied about him. She said that they met in college, she said that they broke up before I was born, she even admitted that she had kept me from him. Then those words came back about a few months. She had never lied so why would she lie about how long she had kept me from him. And after I met him, she never kept him from me and never tried to keep me from seeing him whenever I wanted. Even when she wouldn't take him back, all she said was that she didn't feel that way about him anymore and she hoped I could understand that eventually. I realized that when my mom refused to take him back he told her he would make sure that she was sorry, he would make her life hell. He used me to do it; because he told me just enough true information to make me hate her. He made me think that she hated me too."

"All while she was desperately trying to stay in your life," Henry pulled slowly out of the lot.

"My mother was a single mother. She had no support system I ever knew of. I have no idea what happened to her parents and I have an aunt that I got cards and gifts from on birthdays and Christmas but I've never met her, I don't know anything about her. My mom worked all the time it seemed like, but she was always there for band concerts, school plays, soccer games. She let me have friends over whenever I wanted for sleepovers. She helped me with my homework. I honestly don't know how she did it and I don't know how I missed it. But even more than that, she went to law school when I was a baby, like less than two years old."

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty they say, but everyone lets someone fool them. And everyone has a reason. You were bound to have your dad built up in your head."

"So, I've decided by this point that I'm not gonna let myself fall into old habits with mom's calls whether I get the job and move back to the states or not. I feel like it will be work but we will get through it and we can fix it. I think I am going to get some sleep that night."

"More history hits you where you live in the few hours a person tries to sleep than in their entire fully conscious lives," Henry waxed philosophical, an occupational hazard he caught himself falling into once in a while.

"I thought about how mad I was at my dad not just for lying and using me to hurt my mom, but because I realized he had been there for the whole thing with my three siblings. I was fuming, tossing, turning. Then I remembered the first time I came home at nine years old and told my mom I was going to have a sibling. I remember waking up and hearing something crash. When I went to see what it was, my mother had broken a glass in the kitchen. I asked if she was ok and when she looked at me, she was crying. She said she didn't mean to wake me, everything was fine. I asked why she was crying and she said she was upset about the glass, so I went back to bed and thought nothing of it. I have absolutely no idea why I remember it at all let alone right then, but the realization that she was so hurt by my dad having another baby and being there for the whole thing, the pregnancy, the birth, the support. And I realized, my dad had been using me to hurt my mom from the minute he came into my life. Hell, his ex-wife was a short, thin, Jewish, brunette who used to be a professional ballet dancer named Natalie. It all hit me like a knife to the gut."

Henry looked over and watched Roman wince at his own words. "It sounds like your dad definitely had a type at least. But um…"

"Yeah, that was a poor analogy choice," he groaned.

"Very poor." Henry gave him a moment to breathe. "So, then what?"

"I call my dad again, of course," Roman shook his head in disgust. "I keep my cool and say I have one more question about mom. He says shoot. I asked, how much did she take you for in child support over the years. He never even thought about it, I suppose it caught him off guard that I came at it like I was firmly in his corner. I mean, I had been for so many years. We talked all the time; we were so close."

"What did he say?"

"That rotten bastard laughed and said she never got a dime out of him," Roman growled. "I asked how he managed to get away with it and he told me she never asked and he never offered. I lost my cool and guaranteed he wouldn't meet the grandchild he was freaked out about having. Then I hung up the phone and puked my guts out. Everything I had done to my mother over ten years just by not speaking to her; everything that I had done since I was eight and I met him. All the things I had put her through without ever knowing; I couldn't handle it and I still have no idea what to do. I couldn't stand knowing that he had used me like that and I realized that the entire relationship was a sham. Even the last ten years of us being close and me not talking to her, he was reveling in hurting her. I gave up the relationship with the parent who loved me so unconditionally for one that was meant to spite her. How do you apologize for something like that? My God," he threw up his hands. "I wouldn't forgive me. Why should she? How could she? So, I'm trying to figure it all out and I'm literally writing stuff out trying to organize it in my brain. Even if I can't make it right, I really want to try. Even if she won't forgive me, I want to say all the things that need said while I have a shot at it. The phone rings and it's Blake from your wife's office."

"Calling to tell you that your mom had been stabbed and might not make it out of surgery," Henry nodded. "That's even more brutal."

"Yeah," Roman heaved a heavy sigh as if just spilling his guts to Henry was easing some of his tension. "Then I'm sobbing to this man I've never seen or spoken to in my life that she can't die. I'm scared I might not get my chance to try to fix it. I'm scared I'm gonna lose the only person that I could ever have relied on even if I had called her with no warning and no love at three a.m. a week before she showed up and talked to me for the first time in ten years. That reminds me, I need to ask Elizabeth about meeting that man. I feel really bad about what I must have put him through just by freaking out like that."

Henry laughed, "I'm sure she'll be happy to introduce you. Blake is a good man, he takes everything in stride, even when it makes him want to crawl out of his skin."

"Now I'm here, I'm moving here, I have a job. I'm getting married and having a baby. And my mother threw her good arm around my neck and was happy to see me and happy for my successes. She is afraid I'll disappear and in some way, knowing that she is afraid that she is going to wake up and find out it was all a dream," he put his head in his hands. "That hurts more than remembering all the things that I did to her before. What do I say? How do I make it right?"

"Well," Henry started carefully and thoughtfully as he pulled in the driveway.

"Oh," Roman took note of where they were. "I'm sorry. I should have said that I could rent a storage space anywhere really."

"Don't be silly," Henry clapped him on the shoulder. "There is an empty corner in the garage. You can keep your stuff here until you and Shindy find a place. It won't be that long I'm sure."

"I couldn't ask you for that," Roman shook his head.

Henry laughed. "First, you didn't ask, I offered. And second," he paused purely for dramatic effect. "You are a lot like your mom," he let the comment sink in for a moment. "It's ok to take help now and then; that's what friends are for."

"Thanks," he smiled. Both men got out of the car and started unloading the crates into the empty garage space.

"Sure thing," Henry pulled out a crate. "As far as your mom goes, I admit I don't know her well, but I think I know enough to offer you a suggestion."

"I'm all ears," Roman nodded. "Besides, you probably know her better than I do at this point."

"Look, your mother is going to love you, stand up for you, show up for you, and try to be there with you or for you all the time. If she weren't going to, she wouldn't have kept reaching out for ten years. And your right, you could have called her and screamed every obscenity you know in every language you know and she would have been crushed but still seen it as hope because you spoke to her. She has a great capacity for love and compassion for other people," he smiled. "As proof, I offer up her current predicament, this all happened because she saved my wife's life. And you are special because you are her only child, you already figured out that you mean a lot to her. But beyond that," Henry took the last box from the Jeep and stacked it in the corner of the garage. "Your mother is a woman who admires directness. So, my suggestion is sit down and talk to her. Tell her you aren't going anywhere. Tell her why you had this change of heart and tell her how you're feeling. It will stop her fears, it will give her an insight into what you need and want from her right now and it will give her the opportunity to respond to you. If you get it all out in the open, drag yourselves and each other through the hard crap together, you can start fresh at the end, in the present. It won't be easy, but," he shrugged. "Real life never is. Just rip off the band aid and say all those things that you thought you needed to say while you had the opportunity."

Roman nodded. "Do you really think that I should take a hard walk down memory lane right now. I mean, she was stabbed in the back. Is she going to be up for it?"

"She'll be fine," Henry smiled. "She has been through a lot on her own, your story notwithstanding," he shook his head. "Besides, a blind man could see how anxious she is to clear the air with you. I think she doesn't really know how to start either and believe me, that is hard for her. She is used to having all the answers, but I think she is afraid to push you away again."

"Thanks Henry, I think you're right," he smiled and the two men headed for the door together.

"You two have a lot to get through and I am sure that she has a lot to tell you and you have a lot to tell her. It's not going to be easy. If there is anything that Elizabeth and I can do to make it easier, just ask."

When they walked in they found three women at the kitchen table just where they had left them. They were all laughing and talking. Henry noted that Nadine was in different clothes, her hair was done, and she was even wearing a touch of makeup. Shindy was clearly just out of the shower and Elizabeth was dressed to go to the office. "Can a couple boys crash this girls' party," he snuck up behind his wife and poked her ribs.

"Henry," she scolded as she watched Roman great his mother and his fiancé.

"Mother, you look wonderful," Roman plopped into the chair next to Shindy. "But, how did you get upstairs," he looked at Henry and the two men exchanged looks to note that they had abandoned these women to handle the stairs on their own.

"Oh yeah," Henry scowled. "Sorry about that ladies."

"Don't worry," Elizabeth laughed as Nadine rolled her eyes. "We managed," she looked up at her husband. "Plan B."

"What was Plan B again," he strolled to the coffee pot and poured himself a mug.

"Plan B is what I told you I would do the first time we discussed that particular restriction." Elizabeth and Nadine both laughed and Shindy smiled.

"I wish I could have seen that," she said. "I wish I could have helped."

"Oh no," Nadine shook her head. "As embarrassing and humiliating as that might have been, you are in no condition to help me with steps."

"Are you kidding," Henry was regarding his wife in disbelief.

"Can I get in on this secret," Roman looked around and his eyes settled on Henry after his mother looked down at the table when he had turned to her.

"When I told my wife we would have to figure out some solution to the stairs," he explained. "She told me to think about it because she would haul your mother up and down those stairs on her back if she had to."

"And you scoffed, but look," Elizabeth gestured to Nadine. "Upstairs, showered, incisions have new dressing, back down stairs and no worse off than before you left, right?"

"Right," Nadine answered the question. "Actually, I might be better off than when they left."

"Well, we will do better next time," Henry sipped his coffee and went to his wife. "But way to go Babe," he leaned down and pecked her lips.

"Thanks," she smiled. "Nadine is a trooper though. Did you get everything taken care of?"

"You bet," Henry smiled. "If you need to go, I'm ready to hang out for the rest of the day."

"I'll wait a few more minutes," she looked up from her coffee cup. Stevie is upstairs changing and then…"

"I am ready," Stevie descended the stairs at a trot. "Are you ready Shindy?"

"Oh yes," Shindy slid her mug to Roman and kissed his cheek before getting up.

"You girls have fun," Nadine offered with a smile.

"Absolutely," Shindy returned the smile as she followed Stevie out the door.

"Babe, can I talk to you before you leave," Henry beckoned his wife toward their shared office.

"Sure, I'll see you later Nadine," she patted the woman's shoulder. "Roman, I look forward to having you and Shindy here for a while, I hope it will give us a chance to become great friends."

"Thank you Elizabeth," Roman smiled. "We are so happy to be here and get to know you all better too."

She nodded and followed Henry out. "What's up?"

"I wanted to say a more appropriate goodbye," he wrapped his hands around her waist under her jacket and pulled her close. "I also wanted to give Roman an opening to talk to Nadine, they have some heavy stuff to work through."

"Ahh," She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. "The sexy and multitalented Dr. McCord strikes again."

"MMM, sexy and multitalented," he repeated in a throaty whisper. "Sounds like the whole package," he kissed her again.

"Henry, I actually do have to go," she frowned when he pulled away. "Can we pick this back up tonight?"

Henry smiled. "We can pick it up anytime you want babe," he squeezed her tightly and then released her.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," she smiled and headed out the door to meet her detail.

Henry stood there for a moment before sitting down at his desk and grabbing a book he had been reading. He desperately hoped Roman was taking his advice and talking to Nadine.


	18. Chapter 18

"So," Roman sensed his mother's unease. "Maybe we should talk."

"We can always talk," she nodded and looked at her coffee cup. "We can talk about anything you want."

"I have something I want to say," he started gently. "It's very hard for me."

Nadine felt her breath hitch, he was going to tell her he was leaving. He was going to tell her he didn't want this relationship, that it was too far gone. "I'm listening," she made herself make eye contact even though she knew she couldn't hide the pain she was feeling.

Roman got up and moved to sit next to her. "Mom," he took her good hand in both of his and somehow made himself focus on her face. "I want you to know, I'm not going anywhere. I meant what I said when I told you I wanted to make up for lost time and that I wanted you to be around for the baby. I guess I just don't know how to start. I don't know how to apologize for all the horrible things that I've done to you. I am really sorry and I hope that you can forgive me eventually."

"Roman," she shook her head. "What is it that you think you've done? People get angry, they fight."

"It's so much more," he shook his head. "When Shindy and I found out about the baby, it really made me think about things. I realized how horrible I have been to you. I realized how wrong I had been about so much."

"Babies change your life," she shifted in her chair and looked at him reminiscently. "You changed mine."

"Mom, I know I have some things that I know I need to tell you, but I have some questions too."

"Of course," she nodded. "What do you want to know?"

"What happened to my grandparents?"

Nadine frowned. "You mean my parents?"

Roman nodded. "I started to think about life when I found out about this baby. I realized that I never knew my grandparents. Dad's parents died when I was three or four."

"I remember," she said absently and realized what she had said. "Roman," she caught his look of surprise. "Just because he didn't want anything to do with me after I got pregnant didn't change how I had felt about your dad, not for a while anyway. I kept tabs on him from a distance. I didn't know much about his life, but I figured one day you might want to meet him or vice versa. And I didn't know if one day I would need something from him. I only did what I thought I needed to and I left him alone as he requested."

"You mean, you two broke up when you found out you were pregnant," Roman seemed confused.

"Yes," Nadine nodded. "I was probably six weeks along or so when I found out. Your dad and I had been going together for about three months," she blushed slightly at the memory. "We weren't very serious yet, but I went to him the moment I found out, because he was the only person I was seeing." She paused when she saw him frown. "I don't know whether he was seeing anyone else or not, I don't mean to imply anything."

Roman shook his head. "Go on," he prodded gently.

"Honey," Nadine swallowed hard. "I told him I was pregnant. He freaked out and said he wasn't ready to settle down. I was disappointed, because I really thought he might be the one, but I couldn't really be too mad. Like I said, we weren't together long. I said, I wasn't asking him to marry me or anything like that, but I was pregnant and that changed the dynamic a little. He lost his cool. He accused me of planning it, of trying to trap him. He told me the joke was on me, he didn't want to see or hear from me ever again."

"I didn't know," Roman frowned harder. "But what about your parents?"

"My father died when you were ten, my mother when you were," she thought a moment. "Thirteen or fourteen I suppose."

"Why didn't we ever see them?"

Nadine saw such pain in his question, he was trying to decide if she just cut people off when she was through with them. "Roman," she started in a low whisper. "My parents did not approve of choices I made."

"Dad?"

Nadine shook her head. "No, as far as I know they never met your dad or even knew who he was. They wanted me to go to law school and I wanted to see Europe. I left with my dance troupe and they told me we were through. They said they never wanted to see me or hear from me again. They said that I was no longer their daughter. They disowned me," Roman could barely hear the final sentence it was uttered so quietly.

"Did you ever try to get in touch with them again?" Roman was struck by the fact that her parents had really done what he had accused her of in Myanmar a month before. Suddenly, her defensiveness at the accusation he made that day flooded back and he felt new guilt over the interaction.

Nadine nodded. "Yes, a couple months later. They refused to speak to me, they hung up the phone. Of course, my father screamed that I was not their daughter first. They only had one daughter, my sister. Anyway, I tried a couple more times, but nothing came of it. They never got back in touch with me. I didn't even go to the funerals; my sister informed me that I was not welcome there; her parents wouldn't have wanted me there."

"Aunt Rachel," Roman nodded. "I remember she used to send me cards on my birthday and presents at Christmas."

Nadine smiled. "She always said she felt bad things had to be the way they were. She had kept in touch when I was in Europe and she tried to convince my parents to contact me when she found out I was pregnant. They were angry that she had kept in contact with me and she was angry that I had been foolish enough to get pregnant with a man who didn't want anything to do with me then. I think that is really what solidified the hating me thing for her. I think it did that for my parents too. I mean, if their first grandchild did not move them, I don't think anything could have. Now there is a bare minimum of contact between Rachel and I but she makes it clear she doesn't want much of anything to do with me. I send her kids cards for their birthdays and Christmas the way she did for you. She has three kids; eighteen, sixteen and fifteen now. I have never met them."

"Why didn't you ever tell me," Roman felt tears welling up in his eyes and he realized that he had done to his mother what her parents and her own sister had done. He had done what his father had done. Suddenly knowing that she had tried to keep him close for ten years meant more than it had a few minutes ago.

"I never wanted you to think any of it was your fault; it wasn't. I didn't want you to know that parents did things like that to their children," tears started to slide down her cheeks. "You had enough trouble by just not knowing your father so long. Besides, I didn't want you to think it was normal for parents to act that way. I didn't want you to know that fathers run out on mothers, that parents can hate children, that siblings can go months or even years without speaking. I wanted you to know that things could be better, that you could have a better life than the messed up one I had. I wanted you to know the best in life. Turns out, I didn't do much better and that is not how it worked out."

"I had a great life because I had a great mother. I don't know how you did everything you did."

"What do you mean?"

"It seemed like you were always going off to work," he shook his head. "But you were always home. You helped me with homework, chaperoned field trips, went to my soccer games, let me have big birthday parties with friends, sleepovers all the time. How did you ever manage?"

Nadine smiled. "I don't know. I wanted you to have the best life I could give you."

Roman smiled. "Look, when I found out about the baby, some things clicked with me about dad. I called him and talked to him and I realized that a lot of the things I knew about you and him and you and me weren't true."

"I don't understand," Nadine looked befuddled.

"I realized that when you were upset about Julliard, he used it to get in my head. He told me that you were cutting me off the way you had cut him off before I was born. He told me that you had kept me from him for eight years over an argument a month or two before I was born."

Nadine hung her head, the weight of sorrow and shame seemed unbearable. "Roman, I…"

"Mom, I know that's not what happened. I mean, I know that now. I know that you have never lied to me about anything and I don't believe that you would start now."

"He wanted to see you. He asked me to see you three months before you met. I swear to you, he never asked before that. And when I told him I was six weeks pregnant, he lost it and said he never wanted to see me again. I am ashamed of the fact that I tried to box him out when he first got back in touch. I was wrong."

"Mom, can I ask you something else?"

"Of course," she squeezed his hand.

"Why did you decide to let me meet him?"

Nadine looked up sharply and her eyes betrayed that she was moments from crying. "I resented him trying to get into your life so late. I was angry and I knew that I could win this fight. But," she paused to catch her breath and swallow the tears again. "One day, you came home from school and you were so frustrated. You kept insisting you were fine, but I knew something was up. I was trying to decide whether to call your teacher or not when I was cleaning out your backpack. I found this flyer at the bottom, you had just torn it to pieces."

"The camping trip," Roman looked at her.

Nadine nodded. "I realized that everything I had felt about your dad and what had happened was me was my problem. It wasn't fair for me to let my feelings hurt you, and that's what I was doing. I thought about how I had kept tabs on him that whole time for exactly the reason that he might want to meet you or you might want to meet him. I realized I had been trying to hurt him for hurting me and the only person who was really going to pay was you. That wasn't fair. That was exactly the kind of parent I was trying so hard not to be."

"Mom," his voice was shaking. "I realized with all of this, that he only did it to make you suffer. I realized that he has been using me to try to hurt you from the moment I met him, from the moment he asked to meet me."

"What," Nadine looked up at him suddenly. "What do you mean?"

"I remember the night I came home and told you that Natalie was going to have a baby," he said matter-of-factly. "You let me go on about how excited I was. You let me tell you about how I wanted a little brother and how great life was going to be." He paused and then let his own gaze fall to the floor. "And then after I went to bed, I woke up when you broke a glass. I came out and you were crying. When I asked what was wrong, you told me you were upset about the glass and I went back to bed. I didn't understand that you were crying because what was happening, what I had said had hurt you so badly."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Nadine saw the tears slide down his cheeks as she pulled Roman's chin up to make him look at her. "I was thrilled that you were so happy to have a baby brother."

"I know that," Roman nodded. "You were happy I was happy," his breath hitched. "But that doesn't mean that you weren't hurt. Dad was married and having a baby with a woman who looked a lot like you and who used to be a professional ballerina. My god," he grminaced. "Her name was Natalie, for crying out loud. He used her to hurt you as much as me, because she lived your dream of being a dancer. And it doesn't mean that my excitement wasn't like salt in the wound. Mom," he shook his head and brushed at her tears as his own fell. "Mom, these last couple weeks have made me reevaluate everything that's ever happened in my life and I feel so terrible that I have hurt you so much. I guess that I don't know how to apologize, because I don't know how anyone could forgive some of the things I've done and said or left unsaid, especially over the past ten years."

"Roman," she took his hand and kissed his palm. "There is very little that needs forgiving. Someday, your baby will be grown and do something that tears your heart out. But you will smile and love him or her just the same. You are going to make a wonderful father, but you will make mistakes and so will your child. Someday you will understand."

"I hope I can learn," he smiled. "I hope I can learn without losing them for years to hate and hurt. I hope that it doesn't take a new baby or a near death experience for me to understand."

"It won't," Nadine shook her head. "You've seen the mistakes your parents made. You don't have to make ours. You can make your own and you will." She looked at her son and gently touched his face. "What made you decide that your father was wrong? I mean, what made you change your mind about me?"

"When the doctor told us about the baby, tons of things started coming up in my mind. I talked to Dad a few times and things still didn't seem right. Then Shindy helped things fall into place. She made me realize that for all the bad things dad had said about you and to you, you never once said anything bad about him to me. You were worried I was going to pay the price for not having him in my life and you were the one who ended up paying for letting me know him."

"He was a decent father to you," Nadine's hand dropped and her back stiffened. "Once he was around, he spent a lot of time with you."

"He spent time tearing you down and giving me the things you couldn't to make you feel bad. I know that he never helped you."

"What do you mean," Nadine looked at him in confusion.

"I asked," Roman admitted. "See, he freaked out about me having a baby, said I should have waited another five years. That would make me the same age he was the first time we met."

"So," Nadine didn't understand. "I mean, you are young, but lots of people start families younger."

"Well, it just reminded me about how he used to say he had gotten so much over on you and he talked about all the expense that went into having kids. I was mad but after Shindy made me see that he was the only one tearing my other parent down, I needed to know. I called and asked him how much he had to pay in child support."

Nadine gasped in disbelief, "What did he say?"

Roman lowered his eyes again. "He laughed and said he never had to pay a dime because you never asked." He looked back up at his mother. "I realized that you were always there, you never had any money and I always had everything I needed and almost everything I wanted, ponies aside that is," he joked. "I never had to give anything up and somehow you even had the money to send me to Julliard," he winced as he said it.

"Roman," she shook her head. "I just tried my best. You were eight when he asked to see you. I had gotten so far on my own without him, I didn't want to ask him then. Besides, Natalie was the one with the money, it wouldn't have been right."

"Mom," he moved from the chair and knelt in front of her trying to get as close as possible. "I know there were days you didn't eat. I know that there were things you could have done for yourself and didn't. I realize now how wrong and how selfish I have been. But more than that, I realize that even though he used me from day one to hurt you, you never kept me from Dad once I met him. And you didn't keep him from me those first eight years, he did that. You let me have that relationship, even though on some level you knew that he was using me to hurt you, at least part of the time. And you would do it again even though it cost you ours for so long."

Nadine wrapped her arm around Roman's shoulders and pulled him to her chest. She forced the fingers on her slinged hand to pet his hair. "Roman, I love you. I don't know what to say other than that. I did my best. There were a lot of things that hurt, I'm not denying that, but I wanted you to have the best life I could give you. I want us to move forward. You know I love you, you figured it out in your own way in your own time." She pushed him away slightly and tilted his chin up. "And because you told me all of this, I believe you aren't going to go anywhere. I believe you when you say you will stay. I want to get to know you again."

"Good," Roman kissed her cheek. "Because when you said you thought I was a dream, I" he paused a moment. "That hit me really hard."

"I'm sorry," she murmured and pulled him close again. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I didn't mean to hurt you either," he draped his arms around her waist the way he had the night before. "Mom, I want to explain about Julliard."

"Ok," Nadine nodded.

"I should have told you then, because, I knew why I did it. I had a reason and I should have told you. Mom, I was losing the passion that made me a decent musician there. That place was sucking the life out of my creativity. Plus, the people were horrible snobs."

"I didn't realize," she shook her head. "I should have, you were always so talented."

Roman smiled. "I had a mother who taught me a lot about music. But the thing is, you raised me to be a decent person too. I didn't fit in there."

"I understand. I probably wouldn't have then," she conceded. "But I get that now."

"Mom, I felt that way after two months."

"I wish you had come to me."

"I do too," he nodded. "But the whole reason I stuck it out was so that I could get what I needed. "I took all the classes I could about the business management techniques in the business and sound engineering. That is what I needed to learn and that is what I got. I wish I would have told you this all then. I wish I wouldn't have acted like a stupid kid."

"Roman," she smiled. "You were nineteen. No one thinks their parents will understand at that age."

"This all happened because of that though mom. It's like I told Henry. My behavior at that point is what set it up so that I sacrificed a loving and caring relationship that was really strong for one with someone that I don't believe now every really wanted much to do with me for any other reason than to hurt you."

"What do you mean," Nadine shook her head. "Look, there is no love lost between your dad and I, you know that. But, I don't think that it was purely out of hate that he wanted to know you."

"I do," Roman shook his head. "When I lost my cool with him after we talked a few days ago. I told him that we were through, that he was never going to meet his grandchild that he was so freaked out about having. In the moment I thought I was just saying it out of anger, that I would find some way to have something with both of you." Roman's voice cracked and his breath hitched. He gulped down hard and tilted his head to the side. "He said that was ok. He said he saw now that I realized our relationship wasn't what it seemed. I didn't know what to say. I asked him what he meant."

"Sweetheart," Nadine was going to tell him to stop but he continued before she had the chance.

"Mom, he said that he liked me just fine and that I was a decent pal. Then he said, but the truth is kiddo I have made that mother of yours pay for twenty years. It's been a solid ride, but if you say we're through then I guess we're done here."

Nadine was shocked. She knew that Edmund could be mean spirited and cruel but she had sincerely thought that he wanted a relationship with their son. She was regretting letting him back into their lives now. Regretting it more than she ever had before in the last twenty years. "Sweetie, I am so sorry," she pulled him to her chest. "I am so sorry. I didn't know he felt that way. I never…"

"Neither of us would have done what we did if we would have known," he shook his head. "We were both duped mom and I don't blame you at all. And I want you to know, I meant what I said, my baby has the best and bravest grandma on earth. I want them to know it and appreciate it. I want them to have great memories with you and I together. I want them to know that they are loved so unconditionally."

He hugged his mother close. Nadine couldn't explain the rush of emotions that had been stirred. She felt like she had been hit by a truck and yet like there was a weight that had been lifted off of her too. Things with Roman would take time. They were going to have to get to know one another again, but it was worth it. She had to keep fighting for this. This was the only thing she had left to fight for. Suddenly she felt hope, hope that she could finally win the fight for Roman that she had been waging for so long. Roman was exhausted but he smiled. He realized that Henry was right. This was going to be work, but it was going to be worth every minute.


	19. Chapter 19

"What did the doctor say," Elizabeth was waiting at the top of the stairs leading to the garage when Roman, Shindy, Henry, and Nadine came walking in.

"Lots of good news," Roman smiled.

"That's true," Nadine stepped into full view of the Secretary revealing that she no longer had to wear her sling. "Free of one restriction," she smiled.

"Wonderful," Elizabeth smiled.

"She is still not allowed to raise it above her head or lift anything with it," Roman added sternly.

"And still no stairs," Henry walked up the steps with Shindy as Roman swept his mother off her feet and carried her up.

"But," Nadine jumped in quickly. "I have another appointment in three more days and we will reevaluate that restriction then."

"Great," Elizabeth smiled. "Listen, Blake just called and I have to go in, but I want to hear more later ok," she looked at Nadine.

"By the way Elizabeth," Roman drew her attention away. "I would really like to meet Blake," he blushed slightly. "I feel pretty bad about how things went with him while mom was in the hospital," he looked at Henry for support.

"Sure," Elizabeth turned to Henry who only gave her a single nod. "I will make sure that happens. Maybe I can finally con the boy into coming to dinner," she laughed. "I should be home for that tonight, say six," she looked at Henry.

"Great," he smiled and hugged her. "That will be excellent."

* * *

 

"Good morning Madam Secretary," Blake greeted her at the elevator.

"Good morning, Blake," she smiled and took the coffee he offered her. "What is on the agenda this morning?"

"Staff meeting first," Blake informed her. "Then we have the Russian and Pakistani Foreign Ministers to meet with. They are very anxious to talk to you and the Pakistani Minister said something about a gift."

"For what," Elizabeth paused and looked at her assistant.

"I really couldn't say," Blake answered and continued to walk prodding the Secretary on to the conference room.

"By the way," she stopped outside the door to the conference room and handed over her briefcase and her coat. "I need you to come to my place tonight around six."

"Ma'am," Blake asked confused.

"There is someone who wants to meet you," she smiled. "I said I would arrange it, come hungry," she patted his shoulder and opened the door to the conference room before he could protest. "Good morning everyone."

"Good morning Madam Secretary," Jay answered first as they all stood to their feet.

"How is Nadine," Matt asked as she motioned for them all to sit and fell into her usual chair.

Elizabeth turned and looked at Nadine's empty place and then back to Matt. "She is doing pretty well. She was allowed out of her sling today, so that's improvement. I'll talk to her tonight about having you all in to see her."

"That's great," Matt was beaming. "Only if she is up for it."

"I'm sure she will be thrilled." Elizabeth seemed to ponder a moment. "Maybe Henry and I can make a dinner party out of it," she laughed and eyed Blake playfully.

"As long as I don't have to have another evil brunch with your neighbors," he grinned. "Then I say bring it on."

"Right," Elizabeth laughed and rolled her eyes. "Speaking of Nadine though, Jay what does the FBI have on this Cole Smith person?"

"Still not much I'm afraid," Jay consulted his notes. "They are interviewing family, friends, and coworkers but no one seems to know why he would do this. Apparently, he has never been outwardly political. He has no real religious affiliations, so it's not like he was a radical…well anything. And, he worked as an accountant at the Philadelphia offices of Burton Standard Enterprises. It doesn't appear that he has any connection to you, past or present, or any connection to Nadine. And none of the other protesters have said that they knew him and none of them have any serious criminal backgrounds, so that seems like a dead end."

"Besides," Elizabeth frowned. "That footage from the news definitely makes it look like I was the target and Nadine just got in the way."

"Yes ma'am," Jay concurred. "They are still investigating obviously, but I don't think this is going to go anywhere fast."

"Well," she sighed. "Keep me updated anyway."

"Yes ma'am," Jay smiled.

"Madam Secretary," Daisy seized a moment to make herself heard.

"Yes," Elizabeth turned to look at her. "Because the answers are likely to come slow, I think that you should consider making a statement about the incident. We can craft something short with clear language that you won't speculate or give any details about the ongoing investigation."

"I don't know," she answered apprehensively. "What is the downside to waiting a bit longer?"

"Well," Daisy frowned. "The longer we wait, the longer people have to make up theories and the bigger it becomes. Although that keeps you and the department in the news and lets us get other messaging out more easily; but the press requests are not going to slow down until we do this. And they are going to stay at your front door. Also, if someone else was working with Smith, it could provoke them into trying again."

"That's true," Jay said. "Unfortunately, Smith's lack of motive seems to make the FBI think that there may be other parties involved. Especially since they haven't found any history or sign of mental illness."

"Alright," Elizabeth frowned. "Draft something for me to look at. I want to run it past Nadine before I do this though, I don't want her to be blindsided."

"Ma'am," Daisy looked at her hard. "This really needs to happen today."

"I understand that," Elizabeth nodded. "So, draft something and I will call her. I am not going to talk about her in the press without consulting her."

"We should also make sure that she is safe," Matt mused. "I mean, in the event that this was directed at her or someone blames her for Smith failing to get to you."

"That is taken care of," the Secretary waived off the comment.

"What do you mean," Matt seemed confused.

"Matt," Elizabeth looked at him. "You know she is staying with me. There is round the clock protection at my house. Besides all that, I have a few extra DS agents there because of the extra people at the house and the fact that reporters are still swarming my home trying to get a glimpse of Nadine."

"Right, sorry ma'am," he shuffled his paperwork. "I suppose I didn't think of it that way."

"Alright, now what else do we need to get done today," she moved the meeting forward as she straightened in her chair.

* * *

 

"Mr. Foreign Minister, thank you, this is very generous," Elizabeth held jeweled dagger in her hands. "I apologize that security gave you such a hard time, but I'm sure you can understand their uneasiness, given recent events."

"Of course," the Pakistani minister bowed his head. "I expected as much and freely surrendered it when I entered the building. Still, I thought, given what happened, it was an appropriate gift."

"Very symbolic," Elizabeth nodded. "Please sit," she gestured to the chairs at her desk.

"Thank you," the minister smiled and crossed to the desk. Elizabeth placed the dagger in her desk drawer and looked up at him. "I understand that we have much to discuss given the recent events in your home country. I regret we could not speak at the UN as we had planned."

"It was a tragedy Madam Secretary," he frowned and shook his head. "Please, give my regards and well wishes to your chief of staff. I spoke with Ms. Tolliver several times in the days leading up to the meeting at the UN. She is a very competent and strong-willed woman."

"Thank you Minister, I will pass along your regards," Elizabeth nodded.

"I will be brief and direct Madam Secretary," the foreign minister settled back into his chair. "My country's government is provisional and has a tenuous grasp on power. The murder of Prime Minister Khoosat and the revelation that Abedi was a traitor and a terrorist have left my people reeling. Recognition of our interim government's legitimacy from you would go a long way to helping us with our neighbors. I have spoken to Minister Chen of China but he seems to be holding out for the United States' assessment."

"Well," Elizabeth sighed. "The problem is that we need to do some research before we will recognize legitimacy. We need to know who the new players are and where their loyalties lay. I understand this is frustrating but there are many intelligence agencies working on it and I expect we will have an answer very soon. However, what is it that makes you think that recognition from the United States, or China for that matter, will make your people trust you. I would think you would fear the opposite effect."

"To be honest Madam Secretary," the white-haired man fidgeted. "The Prime Minister believes that recognition from other governments would follow and the people would take solace in the fact that international relations and trade could continue as before. If we remain cutoff from the rest of the world then the economy will falter and the people will lose faith. Unfortunately, he sees it as the best of only bad options to maintain peace and tranquility in our country in the wake of this terrible time. A small step to rediscovering some semblance of normality."

"I see," Elizabeth nodded. "Well, I promise that I will bring your concerns to President Dalton and I will work diligently to ensure that you have a definitive answer on our position as quickly as possible."

"Thank you Madam Secretary," they both rose from their chairs and he offered his hand. "I hope this is, as the saying goes, the beginning of a beautiful friendship," he gave her hand a firm shake and turned to go. Blake was waiting at the door with a security officer to escort the foreign minister from the building.

"Mr. Foreign Minister," he nodded and gestured to the security officer. "Have a pleasant trip sir."

"Thank you," the man nodded back and followed after the security officer.

"Ma'am," Blake stood before her desk. "Minister Avdonin is due in fifteen minutes. Can I get you anything?"

Elizabeth opened her drawer and removed the gift from the Pakistani Foreign Minister. "First take pictures of this with my phone," she smiled. "And then lock that thing up somewhere please, it kind of gives me the creeps."

"Right," Blake gingerly took it from her and picked her phone up from the desk. "Why would he bring you this?"

"Symbols Blake, they send a powerful message," she watched as he crossed to her coffee table, sat the knife down and began snapping photos with it in and out of the sheath. "I just wish I knew exactly what he intended for it to say."

"Yes ma'am," Blake picked the knife back up and replaced her phone. "Ma'am," he hesitated.

"What is it," she looked up from the papers on her desk.

"This kind of gives me the creeps too, what exactly do you want me to do with it?"

Elizabeth sighed. "It's a diplomatic gift so we have to keep it. Give it to security for now, tell them I don't want it unattended until the processing is complete. Maybe you can get the national archives to take it off our hands."

"Yes ma'am," Blake shuddered. "I'll do my best. While we wait for Minister Avdonin, Daisy has a draft of the statement to run by you."

"Send her in," Elizabeth nodded and watched him leave with the dagger.

"Ma'am," Daisy appeared in the doorway. "I have a draft of the statement. Matt and I worked on it together."

Elizabeth took the paper and read it aloud:

Good Afternoon,

I would like to make a brief statement regarding the attack on my chief of staff at the

United Nations in New York four days ago. I am happy to report that she is expected

To make a full recovery and that her health is being closely monitored. I have spoken

With her and she is in good spirits and hopes that the FBI will conclude its investigation

Swiftly and in due course. I have also expressed my sincerest gratitude for the bravery

she showed by putting herself in harm's way for my benefit and safety. I am blessed to

have such a strong and dedicated woman on my staff and look forward to her return to duty. However, because the investigation is ongoing, at this time, I cannot make any further comment. I trust that all relevant facts and evidence will come to light at the conclusion of the FBI's investigation. I will not be taking questions at this time. Thank you.

"I think that this is ok," Elizabeth shook her head. "Like I said, I will call Nadine. I can't promise she is going to be ok with all of this."

"Is it how you feel about the situation ma'am," Daisy asked pointedly.

"Of course," Elizabeth looked up sharply. "I, and my entire family, are beyond grateful for what she did. But I won't make her uncomfortable by parading how I feel in front of the media. She deserves the privacy she needs to recover. Besides, she is working through a lot right now."

"Blake said that Roman was back," Daisy tried to read her boss.

"So," Elizabeth's covert skills kicked in.

"I always felt bad for Nadine," Daisy didn't let the Secretary's obfuscation derail her point. "I really hope that they can make things work between them. You know we all think of her like a mom, it would be nice if her own kid did too." Daisy picked up her tablet and walked out.

* * *

 

Elizabeth's meeting with the Russian Foreign Minister was of little interest. The man wanted the same thing as the Pakistani Foreign Minister. He wanted the United States to declare the government legitimate. He also wanted to know what it would take to get back in President Dalton's good graces since they had bailed on the Render Safe mission and strong armed her into the Buckley trade. Russia was concerned about refugees and a civil war close to their southern border. Elizabeth kept the details vague and basically gave the Avdonin the brush off. He grumbled but took his leave with the promise that they would talk again when Elizabeth could say more on the issue of the legitimacy of the new Pakistani government.

When he had gone Elizabeth called home and asked Nadine about the statement. She could tell from her tone that she was uncomfortable but her only response was to tell the Secretary that she would not interfere with her statement. She said the Secretary should say whatever she felt was necessary and that Daisy and Matt would not steer her wrong. She told Elizabeth she had no intentions of doing any interviews now or later and so it was up to Daisy and Matt to make it all go away. Elizabeth thanked her and hung up the phone. She reviewed the statement again and decided to read it as it was. After all, as Daisy had said, it was all true and it was how Elizabeth felt about Nadine. She briefed the press and hurried from the press room as reporters fired questions at her hoping to change her mind about keeping silent.


	20. Chapter 20

By five-thirty, she was ready to head for home and Blake brought her coat and packed up her briefcase for her. "Here you are ma'am," he handed her the case. "Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?"

"Blake," she answered admonishingly. "I know perfectly well that you remember I said you needed to be at my house by six. Pack your things, you can ride with me."

"Ma'am," he protested. "I'm not sure."

"Not a suggestion Blake," she smiled deviously and walked past him. "Let's go, clock is ticking."

Blake gathered his things and trailed after the secretary to the elevator. They rode down and met her detail at the front entrance. Reporters were still swarming the front of her house when she arrived. She admired their stamina but she was getting tired of sneaking into her own house and having all the curtains closed. She had hoped the statement would make them lay off for at least a little while. She and Blake entered through the garage and were greeted by Henry who was in the kitchen finishing dinner.

"You made it," Henry smiled and consulted his watch. "And five whole minutes ahead of schedule."

"Very funny," she laughed and dropped her things on floor against the panty door. "Where is everyone?"

"Jason and Allison will be down in a minute, everyone else is in the dining room. Hey Blake."

Blake grimaced at the sight of Elizabeth's things on the floor. "Good evening."

"Come on," Elizabeth grabbed Blake's arm and pulled him toward the dining room.

"Blake," Nadine jumped from her chair and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Hello Ms. Tolliver," Blake hugged her low and tight and tried to hide his disgust at the show of affection she had just made. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she pushed him back and smiled. "But I wanted to tell you thank you," she put on her best down to business face and looked at him. "You are fabulous at what you do and I want to know where you got those clothes."

"Oh," he smiled. "A little boutique I came across near the hospital, I'll look it up," he nodded.

"And thanks for making the travel plans," she whispered and moved back to her chair.

"I think you know almost everyone," Elizabeth pointed to an empty chair. "This is Roman, Nadine's son, and his fiancé Shindy."

"Pleasure," Blake shook both their hands before taking the seat the Secretary had directed him too.

"Mr. Moran," Roman said as they passed a bottle of wine around the table. "I really want to thank you for all your help in making my travel plans and for helping with Shindy's passport problems."

"My pleasure, please call me Blake," he was pointedly trying to avoid eye contact.

"I also wanted to apologize," Roman continued. "I was a bit of a mess when we talked and I know that can't have been easy for you to deal with."

Blake unsuccessfully tried to hide a small shudder at the comment. "No problem at all, it was a totally understandable response. Besides, I was happy to help." He glanced at the Secretary begging her to save him.

"Roman asked me to introduce you," she smiled. "I figured there was no time like the present and I might as well make sure you were fed at the same time."

"Dinner in ten," Henry called from the kitchen.

"Thank you ma'am," he lowered his eyes and stared at his place setting.

"Speaking of food and company," she continued. "Nadine, the others were wondering if you'd be up for a visit soon?"

Nadine looked up thoughtfully. "I am sure they have plenty to keep them busy," she mused. "But if they have the time, I suppose I can't object. After all…" her voice trailed and she looked at Roman.

Elizabeth sensed her unease and tried to help. "They do just think the world of you."

"What is it mom," Roman looked up at her.

"Nothing," she lied.

"Nadine," Shindy touched her arm. "Roman and I have had long talks, he knows that there will be things that are uncomfortable, but they still need to be said."

"Shindy is right mom," Roman nodded. "What is it?"

"It's just," she hesitated and looked at Elizabeth. Suddenly she felt the Secretary's hand grab hers under the table, give it a brief squeeze and release it again. "The people I work with are mostly around your age and they have decided that I am like their office…mom," she searched her son's face for some clue of how badly she had hurt him.

Instead Roman only smiled. "I get that," he nodded. "You DO have the mom thing down pretty well," he sipped his wine.

"I really hate the title, but thank you," she nodded. "How are things at the office anyway?"

"We are all looking forward to you being back when you're ready," Elizabeth smiled. "It is boring without you."

"Didn't you say you were meeting with Pakistan today," Stevie asked as Henry began to place food on the table.

"Yes," Elizabeth dug her phone out of her pocket. "That actually ended up rather odd," she frowned.

"How so," Nadine was intrigued.

"Well," Elizabeth started gently. "First the new foreign minister sends his regards. He said you were," she turned to Blake for help remembering.

"A competent and strong-willed woman," Blake smiled and gulped the wine Stevie had poured him.

"Oh," Nadine frowned. "Well, that's," she thought for a moment. "Accurate anyway. At least I think so."

"Yes, it is," Elizabeth grinned. "He brought a gift too and that was the creepy part."

"Why," Nadine frowned. "We get diplomatic gifts all the time, especially from new dignitaries."

"Not bejeweled daggers," Elizabeth shook her head.

"What," Stevie seemed appalled.

"Seriously," Nadine frowned. "Please tell me that you have a picture for me. That is really messed up."

"I do," Elizabeth pulled up the photos Blake had taken earlier. "It looks like something out of a movie," she said as she handed her phone to Nadine and Stevie came around to look over her shoulder.

"That is so creepy, why would he give you that," Stevie frowned.

"It's symbolic," Nadine shook her head. "But it is indeed creepy."

"Do you think they had something to do with the guy at the UN," Henry asked uneasily as he continued placing things and stole a glance at the photos Nadine was thumbing through.

"Who," Jason appeared out of nowhere.

"I don't know," Elizabeth shook her head. "I mean, the FBI can't figure out the guy's motive, but why would Pakistan give me this at all let alone right now. I mean, I get that it means something but I don't know what."

"What did he say when you asked him," Nadine asked.

"He said that he thought, under the circumstances, it was the perfect gift."

"Well, that sounds ominous," Henry shook his head as Allison graced them with her presence and then began passing food. "It also makes it sound like he decided to give it to you after what happened at the UN. Did you tell the FBI about this gift?"

"I did," Elizabeth frowned. "Seems the entire bureaucracy is now perplexed over why I would get a bedazzled knife from a foreign minister less than a week after someone tried to stab me."

"That's creepy," Allison turned up her nose. "Kind of scary."

"Don't worry Noodle," Elizabeth shook her head. "Even if Pakistan had something to do with it, I doubt whoever it was will be trying again."

"What if they do?"

"Baby," Elizabeth hated that she alarmed her daughter.

"You have nothing to worry about, I promise. The FBI is going to figure out what happened. Besides, the man who hurt Nadine is dead. There is nothing to be scared of."

"Everything is so delicious," Blake said desperately uncomfortable in his current situation and wanting to change the subject.

"Stevie was hard at work with Shindy this afternoon," Henry answered. "I think they did quite well."

"Dad was good enough to plate and serve," Stevie smiled as she passed the food on to Blake.

"Thank you very much ladies," he smiled. "And thank you for the…invitation ma'am," he side-eyed the Secretary.

"Sure, Blake," she ignored the disdain in his look. "You are going to have to come back tomorrow with everyone else you know. Otherwise they will think that you don't love your office mom," she chuckled.

"Right," he conceded and softened his look recognizing defeat. "Should I arrange for dinner tomorrow ma'am?"

Elizabeth looked at him and wondered how he managed to stay in assistant mode so well all of the time. "I think that would be lovely. Then no one has to cook or clean, perfect."

"Yes ma'am," he nodded and finished his plate.

"Can I get you anything else Blake," Stevie offered from the chair next to him.

"No thank you," Blake shifted uncomfortably.

Elizabeth let Blake suffer while everyone else finished their meal and through a toast with the champagne that Henry and Stevie had brought home a few days ago before relenting and telling him he was free to go. Blake thanked everyone and said his goodbyes before Roman walked outside with him.

"Listen Blake," he started as Blake heaved a heavy sigh of relief to be out of the packed dining room and was finally able to see his escape from the strangers. "Thanks again. Mom and I are making a lot of progress and I couldn't have made it happen without your help in getting Shindy and I here so fast."

"Just doing my job," Blake nodded. "But look, I really do think the world of your mom. I am glad that the two of you are working things out and I hope that you know, all of us at the office are rooting for that."

"I'm glad you all think of her the way you do," he smiled. "I understand why everyone was worried it might upset me, but the truth is…" he smiled as the frustration returned to Blake's face. "The truth is that she was always a great mom, I am the one who let things get so bad between us."

"None of my business," Blake raised his hand. "Truly, I'm happy for you and for your mom. I am happy to help out any way that I can. I just…" he sighed heavily. "I don't do so well with crowds or strangers or being the guest of the evening. I prefer my work in the background."

"I understand, I'll see you tomorrow?" Roman offered his hand and Blake took it.

"I will be here," he nodded. "And I will try to do better." With that Blake headed off down the street and hailed a cab to take him home for the evening.


	21. Chapter 21

Elizabeth knocked quietly on Nadine's door. Nadine opened it a moment later with a smile. "Come in."

"I didn't want to disturb you," Elizabeth smiled. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, if you needed anything?"

"I'm alright," she turned off the tv, sat on the bed, and gestured for Elizabeth to sit with her. "I just caught your statement again," she smiled. "It's getting great reviews."

"Well, sometimes that happens when you tell the truth," Elizabeth sat down and looked at her chief of staff. "It seems like there are fewer reporters out front now too."

"I appreciate the sentiment," Nadine frowned. "You really didn't need to say any of that, Matt can do better."

"Well, it is the truth," Elizabeth shrugged. "It's how I feel so I felt like it was a good statement."

Nadine nodded. "I wish they would move off this story. I feel uncomfortable being in the spotlight this way. It's not my place."

"I know how you feel," Elizabeth answered. "But heroinism will often derail your attempts to work from the shadows," she offered with a smile. "Can I ask you something, on that note?"

"Of course," Nadine frowned. As if the Secretary couldn't ask her whatever she wanted in her own spare bedroom.

"Why did you do it?"

"What?" Nadine's jaw dropped in disbelief and confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean why did you put yourself between me and that man? If you had simply called out, you might not have been stabbed. Frank was there and could have pushed me away too if you had called out. You could have run the other way."

Nadine looked at her boss thoughtfully. "Well, I felt compelled," Nadine smiled.

"Why," Elizabeth pressed.

"I don't know how to explain it," Nadine shook her head. "I thought if I called and you turned around to respond, he would be able to do more damage. I was worried you would stop and he would be able to get to you; that there wouldn't be enough time for Frank to react. But I think, it is a bit like what Matt said in the hospital, I did what I know you would have done for me if the roles were reversed."

"You know," Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably. "That the entire family is absurdly grateful for what you did for me."

Nadine nodded. "You have all done an amazing job of showing me that. You have done so much for me and Roman and Shindy too."

"Like I said, it really is the least we could all do. Do your dressings need to be changed?"

Nadine blushed but nodded. "Yes."

Elizabeth smiled. "Would you like me to take care of it?"

Nadine nodded again and led the way to the on-suite bathroom and retrieved the supplies her doctor had given her this morning. "I really appreciate this," Nadine slid out of her blouse. "It's hard for me."

"I know," Elizabeth nodded and went to work. "It's always hard to ask for help when you have been on your own so long."

"Ma'am?"

"What you said about your parents," Elizabeth shrugged but didn't notice Nadine watching her in the mirror. "To be on your own right after college, that has to be tough. And then to raise a child with no help and no family to support you, it all just sounds so hard," Elizabeth gently applied a new dressing to the lower wound and pressed the tape firmly in place. "I guess I just have…well," she thought a moment before moving to Nadine's shoulder. "MORE admiration for you now than I did before. You are a more amazing woman than I realized."

"I don't know about that," Nadine shook her head. "I'm just a single mom who did what I had to do to make the best home I knew how for my son."

"Well," Elizabeth finished with the other dressing. "You seem to have done ok, he is a very nice young man with a lovely fiancé and a baby on the way."

"I'm not sure how much credit I can take," Nadine pulled a clean tank top over her head carefully. "After all, the man he has become is shaped a great deal by what happened in his twenties, I had nothing to do with that."

"That's not exactly true," Elizabeth followed Nadine back to the bedroom.

"What do you mean," Nadine put her guard up immediately.

"Henry and Roman had a heart to heart, he didn't tell me much," Elizabeth assured Nadine to try to put her at ease. "He just said he learned a lot about what happened between you two, at least from Roman's point of view. He said that he was impressed that you never gave up trying to talk to him. You just kept calling, for ten years. Of course," Elizabeth shrugged. "He didn't know about your parents and your sister."

Nadine felt the tears stinging the corners of her eyes. "Honestly, I did sort of give up for the last couple years. I only called on birthdays and Christmas. I could have done more," she held her head in her hands and tried to hide the tears running down her face. "I could have tried harder. I SHOULD have tried harder."

"Oh Nadine," Elizabeth pulled the woman into an embrace. She held her shoulders and her head and rocked her gently. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," she stroked the woman's black curls gently.

Nadine was finally able to wrap both arms around the other woman and she did. "It's ok. It's not you, it's all of it. I'm so afraid I'm going to wake up, that it's not real."

Elizabeth smiled briefly. "Oh Nadine. It's real. You're gonna wake up tomorrow and we are all still going to be here for you."

"I wish I could back up, I wish I could do things differently," she sobbed into Elizabeth's shoulder. "I wish I could change what happened between the two of us." Nadine suddenly felt two arms encircle her waist from behind and she felt herself hold her breath.

"It's alright," Nadine could hear the smile in Elizabeth's voice. "You're ok."

"You still have to breathe mom," she heard Roman say.

"You ok?" Elizabeth pulled Nadine away and tipped her chin up. Nadine nodded. "Good," she patted her shoulders. "I'll leave you two alone."

"Mom," Roman pulled her back onto his lap and cradled her in his arms. "It's ok. I promise that I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here no matter what," he squeezed her tightly.

"I know that," Nadine nodded and wiped at her eyes. "I know that, but I'm still afraid. It's dumb…"

"No," Roman shook his head and kissed her forehead. "I understand why you're afraid. I don't blame you at all. But, all I know to do is keep telling you that I love you and keep reminding you that it's not a dream."

"I love you," she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "And I'm so sorry that I was mad when you dropped out. I didn't understand, but I never should have gotten so angry."

"Mom," Roman's voice was soothing and deep. "It's ok. Like you said, we are going to move forward and start over."

Nadine nodded and just held Roman tightly. He started to rock her gently and she drifted to sleep almost immediately, despite her best attempts to keep her eyes open. When he was certain that she was asleep, he gently stood up and laid her down on the bed. He brushed her black curls from her forehead, bent low and kissed her gently on the cheek. She stirred slightly but didn't wake up. Roman waited a moment until she settled again and then tiptoed out the door shutting it quietly behind him. When he turned to walk away, he found Elizabeth leaning against the wall.

"How are you doing," she asked quietly.

"I'm ok," he sighed. "I just wish I could make her feel better about the whole situation. I have my own wishes that I could back up and start all over."

"I get that," Elizabeth nodded. "I think that I'm going to break into the wine," she nodded toward the stairs. "You want to join me?"

Roman looked at the closed door to his mother's bedroom and down the hall to Stevie's door where he knew Shindy was sleeping. "Sure," he smiled.

'Great," Elizabeth led the way downstairs. She grabbed the wine glasses and set them in the kitchen island and then grabbed a bottle of merlot and poured full glasses for each of them.

"Thanks," he smiled and grabbed a glass taking a big sip.

"Of course," Elizabeth sat the bottle on the counter and followed suit with her own glass. "Let's sit," she gestured to the table and Roman gladly tossed himself into a chair. "Do you wanna talk about it," she sat down across from him.

Roman worked his glass around in a circle on the table and looked at her thoughtfully. "I'm having trouble believing it's all real too," he sighed. "I told your husband, I wouldn't forgive me."

"What do you mean?"

"My dad has been using me since I was eight years old to tear her heart out and stomp on it. It was never about being a dad to me, it was all about hurting her." Roman shook his head. "And I never saw it. Maybe you can forgive a ten-year-old, but I was nineteen when the real hatred started. She had every right to be mad at me for dropping out; I never explained it then, I never even tried. But I let my dad fill my head so full of crap when she was angry with me. How can she really let that go? A nineteen-year-old ought to know better, to act better. Besides, she raised me better than that." Elizabeth smiled and he kept talking. "I keep thinking that I'm gonna wake up and Blake is going to be on the phone telling me that she didn't make it," he let out a heavy sigh.

"Well," Elizabeth finally spoke up. "She did make it and if I have my way that she is not ever going to be put in a situation like that again. Like you said, I'm not sure what else I can say."

Roman released a nervous laugh. "Yeah. I think that may not have been as helpful as it sounded when I said it to her."

Elizabeth shrugged. "Well, that probably depends on the person hearing it. The thing is Roman, I think that when your mom is free to move around a little more the two of you should do something together. Something that you used to do together that would make you feel more connected, the way you were before this."

Roman looked at her thoughtfully. "Now there is an idea," he stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I could make that work, as a matter of fact. Maybe I can even make it work tomorrow night if I can talk her into it."

"There you go," Elizabeth smiled. "How are you and Shindy doing?"

"She is amazing," Roman smiled. "She is taking all of it in stride and she is finally starting to get over the jet-lag and the fact that she has never lived on this side of the world. The cold is hard for her, but she will get there."

"That's great," she nodded. "If there is anything that I can do to make it easier on either of you don't hesitate."

Roman nodded. "Thanks. She loves it here and she and Stevie are getting along well."

"I never did hear, how was that shopping trip?"

"A true success," Roman smiled. "She found a lot of nice things and a few very loose things that should last at least a few more months." He smiled at the thought of her modeling the things for him yesterday.

"You knew it wouldn't be easy when you started down this road." Elizabeth smiled and took a large gulp of her wine. "The only thing I have for you is to keep at it. It's gonna be hard, but I know how much your mom wants it to work. And, I think," she took a moment to stare at the young man in front of her. "I think you want it every bit as much. Just by looking in your eyes, I can see it. If you can both hold on to that, then you'll make it through this and it won't be anything more than a bad memory."

"Your right," he smiled and finished his wine. "Thanks for the suggestion. Goodnight Elizabeth."

"Goodnight," she smiled and watched the young man head up the stairs. She reclined in her chair and finished her wine all the while silently hoping that Roman and Nadine would make it work.


	22. Chapter 22

"Hey Jay," Henry opened the door for the policy advisor. "Last one here," he laughed. "Now it's a party."

"Good to see you Henry." Jay shook his hand before surrendering his coat.

"No Abby tonight," Henry asked.

"No," Jay shook his head. "She has the flu and she didn't want to spread it around."

"That's too bad," Henry frowned. "Tell her we missed her and Chloe too."

"Will do," Jay nodded. "So, where is the guest of honor?"

"Ah," Henry grinned. "She is holding court in the sitting room. Food and drinks in the kitchen, help yourself."

"Thanks," Jay grinned and headed to the sitting room.

"Jay," Nadine looked up from the group. "You're late," she smiled.

"Well," Matt made a show of sticking up for his buddy. "He is awfully busy with all those saintly duties all the time you know. Every saint has to have at least one flaw or they wouldn't be interesting."

"Very funny," Jay shook his head before bending down to kiss Nadine's cheek. "You sound like you're feeling much better," he whispered.

"I am," she smiled and then pointed to Roman. "Jay this is my son Roman, and his fiancé Shindy. This is Jay, he is the Secretary's policy guy."

"Nice to meet you," Shindy shook his hand and smiled.

"And you," Jay nodded. "Roman," he shook the younger man's hand. "I've heard a lot about you. Good to meet you finally."

"Mutual, I'm sure," Roman looked a bit thrown.

"Not to worry," Jay sensed Roman's unease. "I have a little girl who is almost three. Your mom helped me through some of the stuff no one tells you about before you have kids."

"Oh," Roman smiled. "Well, that's great."

"Jay," Elizabeth called from the kitchen. "Come get a drink."

"Yes ma'am," Jay nodded to the group and took his leave. "Sorry I'm late," he said when he made it to the kitchen.

"Don't worry about it," Elizabeth smiled. "Wine, beer, scotch?"

"Bourbon," he asked.

"Alright," Henry chuckled. "A man after my own heart."

"Sounds like you have something you need to get off your chest," Elizabeth joked as Henry poured.

"Actually ma'am," Jay frowned. "I just got a new piece of information from the FBI about Cole Smith."

"What is it," Elizabeth asked as he sipped his whiskey.

"He worked for Burton Standard Enterprises as an accountant. They hold no bid defense contracts with the defense department. Anyway, the have ties all over the world but their newest venture is supplying building material and contractors to Pakistan for the temporary military camps being set up in the wake of the coup."

"Well, that's not definitive that Pakistan had anything to do with it," Henry shrugged. "Like you said, Burton has ties to most countries. Nothing unusual about that."

"True," Jay nodded. "But the Pakistan deal was being brokered through the Philadelphia office so now FBI is more concerned about that diplomatic gift you got and they are trying to find anything that might connect Smith to anyone in Pakistan or HS."

"If Pakistan was behind it, that is going to throw up flags on the question of governmental legitimacy," Bess sighed. "Is Russell losing his mind?"

"I haven't heard ma'am," Jay shook his head. "But then, Russell isn't really my area of expertise," he joked.

"He hasn't shown up at our door," Henry chuckled. "Look, right now it is just a theory. We are just going to have to keep our guard up about this stuff until it all shakes out. You know it will babe," he tried to reassure his wife. "Eventually something's got to give."

"You're right," Elizabeth smiled. "Come on, let's get some food and get in there. This is supposed to be about Nadine, not the guy who stabbed her."

"Right," Jay nodded.

Just then Elizabeth's phone rang and she quickly answered. "Yes." She looked up at Henry as though she were surprised by the person on the other end. "Yes, um. Henry and I invited the staff over for a party tonight to see her. You're always welcome to join us." Henry made a face, but Bess gave him and Jay no clue what was going on. "I'll let them know. See you soon."

"Who was that," Jay asked as he filled a plate with food.

"The President is going to join us," Elizabeth shook her head. "Said he wanted to visit Nadine and see how she was holding up."

"Well," Henry smiled. "Good thing there is enough food here to feed an army, one more guest won't hurt."

Elizabeth laughed. "Should I tell her?"

"She hates surprises," Jay looked up from his plate as though the secretary were about to make a horrid blunder.

"Well," Elizabeth shrugged. "I still think it will be fun. Roman and Shindy are about to get a heck of a surprise too."

"Yes ma'am," Jay shook his head. "The food is delicious by the way."

"All Blake," she smiled. "He has good taste about a lot of things."

"I'll go let security know about our guest," Henry smiled. "How long?"

"Fifteen minutes," Elizabeth smiled. "Could you…"

"I will go the long way," he finished the idea and headed for the garage door.

"He is seriously going to walk all the way around the house," Jay asked when Henry disappeared into the garage.

"What good is a surprise if we make her suspicious," Elizabeth winked at him. "Now come on," Nadine is going to think that we are talking about her behind her back," she motioned to the doorway.

"Yeah," Jay chuckled. "She usually comes up with the right idea that way."

* * *

"So Roman," Matt asked as the Secretary and Jay appeared from the kitchen. "What made you get into music?"

"Well," Roman shrugged. "I always really liked music and Mom always had some kind of music playing. Her interests were…" he paused a moment and looked over at Nadine. "eclectic, I suppose."

"Really," Matt seemed surprised. "Nadine, I always pictured you as a lover of all things classical."

"Oh she is," Roman answered. "Of course, I think the most played when I was a kid were The Eagles, The Highway Men, and Run DMC."

"Wow," Daisy smiled. "That's a bit of a range all by itself."

"Well," Nadine shrugged. "I had enough of some of the more traditional music before Roman was born. I mean, I made a living," she glanced up at the Secretary and over a Matt. "I made a living ballroom dancing and doing polkas before Roman was born when I toured with my dance troupe."

"Dance Troupe," Jay asked astonished. "Really?"

"Yes," Nadine nodded and turned to see Henry coming from the direction of the kitchen with a plate.

"That sounds so cool," Stevie had perked up. "I have always wanted to learn to ballroom dance."

"Well," Nadine smiled. "I'm a bit rusty but I would be happy to teach you if you really want. It's not hard."

"It's true," Roman nodded. "She is a pretty good teacher too. She taught me when I was little."

"Really," Henry grinned. "Did she teach you a lot about dancing," he eyed his wife mischievously.

"Oh yes," Roman didn't realize how much of a secret his mother's talents really were. "I mean, I was the hit of my middle school talent shows because she taught me…"

"Roman was very talented…" Nadine cut him off. "I mean he is a musician, he has the flare for performing."

"What did she teach you," Jason had no tact, but Henry had been counting on that.

"To break dance," Roman gave his mother a confused look.

"Really,' Matt's jaw fell open and there was a more or less collective gasp of surprise. "Nadine?"

Nadine frowned, blushed, and closed her eyes. "It's true," she answered quietly. "I learned to break dance in college and it was part of our routine." When she opened her eyes, everyone was still looking at her as if they were waiting for some sort of explanation. "Well, it's not like there is a lot of call for that in my current job description."

"Well what do you know," Daisy smiled. "Nadine is more interesting than we thought."

"But then, you never thought I was that interesting did you," Nadine grinned as she made her accusation.

"Oh, I don't know," Blake shrugged. "I think we all know that you are pretty interesting, otherwise, you wouldn't be so mysterious all the time."

"She can sing too," Roman grinned. "Of course, I suppose you all found that out when she did that song for than whole Pan-Asian Economic thing."

"How did you know about that," Nadine looked at him in disbelief.

"Please," he tilted his head. "Mom, that video was trending on YouTube for weeks."

"There was video," Nadine blushed again.

"I forgot about that," Allison smiled. "Everyone at school was talking about it."

"Oh Lord," Nadine hung her head. "That was definitely not the best performance of my life."

"It wasn't bad," Blake defended his own participation. "Besides, performance is all about going big and you delivered it with such conviction."

"That is true," Elizabeth smiled. "You really are a great singer."

"I have my guitar upstairs," Roman smiled and eyed his mother hopefully. "What do you say, you show them what you can really do Mom?"

"I say no one wants to hear me sing anymore sweetheart," she shook her head.

"Oh please," Jay could see in Nadine's eyes that the conversation awakened something in her. "I would love to hear you sing again."

"Blake and I will even do it with you," Daisy volunteered them. "If you want us to."

"Oh come on," Nadine protested. "What would we even sing?"

Roman winked at Elizabeth discreetly. 'Mom," he started slowly. "Why you and I do that song that we used to do together all the time?"

A thousand memories flashed in Nadine's memory when she looked up at her son. "Dionne Warwick? I haven't sang that song in ages."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'll even forego the guitar for the piano if the Secretary doesn't mind. Come on, we will sing it together, like we used to."

"By all means," Elizabeth motioned to the baby grand sitting in the corner. "I didn't know you played the piano."

"Oh yeah," Roman made his move to the piano. "Mom sent me to piano lessons when I was little. I didn't pick up a guitar until high school. I do dabble with violin a bit, but that didn't start until later in high school."

"Wow," Stevie was staring at the man. "You really are quite inclined to music."

"I try," he nodded and took a seat at the piano. "Mom?"

There was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Elizabeth smiled at Henry. "Go to it Nadine," she pointed to the piano as she made her way to the door. Just as she made it there, she heard the piano start to play and she heard as Nadine and Roman started singing together. It was a great sound and she suddenly understood his earlier gesture. This is what he and his mother did together. This was something that they shared. She opened the door and found Conrad and Russel standing there waiting for her.

"Bess," Conrad started as he stepped inside. He paused when he heard the singing. "Is that Nadine," he whispered.

Bess nodded and answered in her own whisper. "Her son just convinced her to sing with him in front of everyone."

"She's good," Russell conceded as he handed Elizabeth his coat.

"Yes she is," Elizabeth nodded as she opened the coat closet next to the door and hung their coats. "Come on in, make yourselves at home," she was still whispering. "There is plenty of food and lots to drink in the kitchen. What can I get you?"

"Scotch rocks," Russell sighed.

"Sounds good to me," Conrad gently grabbed her arm as she turned to go. "Give it a minute," he smiled. "They are nearly through. I don't want to crash the show."

Elizabeth nodded but tiptoed to the corner of the sitting room so she could see Nadine. Her eyes were focused on Roman's fingers as they moved over the keys skillfully. She was smiling from ear to ear and the sound of the two of them singing together was like something from old Hollywood. It was hauntingly good and all the guests joined in the familiar tune at the finale, clapping and singing along. When it was over there were cheers and Roman's eyes flew up to meet the Secretary's. He had taken her advice and it had worked. Something had connected him to his mother again.

"That was wonderful," Shindy walked over and kissed Roman's cheek. "You really do get your talent from your mother."

"Thanks sweetie," he smiled.

"Who was at the door," Henry asked from behind the group.

"Oh," Elizabeth smiled. "Nadine, there are a few more people here to see you," she stepped to the side and Conrad and Russell took their cues to file past her into the room.

"Mr. President," Nadine pushed herself up from the piano with a slight grimace. "Russell," she nodded to her White House counterpart.

"Hello Nadine," Conrad smiled and crossed the room. He shook her hand and kissed her cheek. "Sorry to crash the party. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing."

"Thank you sir," she smiled. "I am just fine." She looked around the room as everyone stood to their feet in the presence of the big boss.

"Relax everybody," Conrad chuckled having taken note of the change himself. "We are all off duty as it were. Besides, Elizabeth said there was food and whiskey," he turned to look at Elizabeth.

"Oh right," she remembered she had offered them drinks. "Follow me gentleman."

"Well, this just got awkward," Allison looked at her siblings.

"You mean more awkward," Matt had been sitting between her and Daisy on the couch.

"Come on guys," Henry looked at them both. "We are around the President all the time. He's a fun guy."


	23. Chapter 23

"Thanks Bess," Conrad took the glass of scotch she offered him and scrutinized the food on the kitchen island.

"Of course Conrad," she smiled. She liked that he was here and that she didn't feel the need to be so formal in her own house. "Any word on how the investigation is going?"

"Nothing new," Russell frowned and took the glass offered to him as he picked a few pretzels out of a dish and munched away. "FBI is going hard at this Pakistan angle. They will get to the bottom of it."

"Sure," Bess nodded but it was clear that she was dissatisfied.

"Hell of a show from the Pakistani Foreign Minister though," Conrad smiled. "We will have to pay attention to him."

"I just don't think that the Pakistan connection to the assassination attempt makes any sense," Bess shook her head. "I mean, the guy was asking us to declare the new provisional government legitimate, that was supposed to be the purpose of the meeting at the UN. The whole conference was to open it up to world scrutiny and the foreign minister and I were supposed to meet there."

"So they say," Russell frowned. "You don't know that is what he was really going to ask about at the take aside at the UN. Besides, it could be that the meeting was just to hedge bets in case Smith didn't go through with it or something went wrong."

"But there is a compelling case to be made for why the new regime needs to be declared legitimate on their side," Elizabeth countered. "They need someone to say they are the legitimate government for trade with every country, not just us. Besides, the world knows that China helped with Render Safe so even if they blame us they would know that they couldn't pit us against the Chinese on this issue. Killing the Secretary of State is not a great way to gain legitimacy on the world stage even if it would make you friends with any number of nefarious agents."

"It could still be a rogue operation by someone in the new government," Russell was raising his voice. "Point is, we are not declaring anything legitimate until we know for sure that the Pakistanis had nothing to do with this."

"Keep it down," she looked instinctively toward the living room. "Tonight is supposed to be about Nadine, don't you dare spoil that Russell," she scolded.

"Enough," Conrad declared in a harsh whisper as he finished putting food on his plate. "Let's get back in there. There will be plenty of time to discuss this when there is more evidence." With that, he led both of them back into the sitting room.

"Mr. President," Nadine perked up as they entered. "This is my son Roman and his fiancé Shindy."

"Happy to meet you both," Conrad shook their hands and found a seat. "Well, tell me Nadine, how are you holding up?"

"Just fine sir," she smiled. "I have another follow up tomorrow and I expect that a few more of my restrictions will be lifted then. I am sure that I will be back in the office in no time at all."

Conrad smiled. Nadine was a worker and he respected that. "Don't push it too hard Nadine. We all want you back at your very best."

"That's right," Russell seemed uncharacteristically kind this evening. "You need to let yourself heal."

"By the way," Conrad turned to Matt, who true to his nature was being quiet and fidgety in the presence of the big man. "Matt, I heard about that little stunt you pulled at the hospital."

"Well, I, uh," Matt began to stutter and twitch.

"That was a very brave thing you did," Conrad continued. "It's hard to keep it together in times of crisis. Well done sir."

Matt stared at the President in disbelief and looked at Nadine who clearly working hard to contain her amusement. "Thank you Mr. President," Matt managed.

"Nadine," Conrad turned his attention back to the older woman. "I can't thank you enough for watching out for Elizabeth out there. Not many people would have even noticed Mr. Smith coming until it was too late. This country owes you a great deal."

"Thank you Mr. President," Nadine nodded and somehow managed to maintain her nerves that were threatening to bubble up. "But really," she glanced at Elizabeth who was standing with Henry. "I think that it was the least I could do."

Elizabeth didn't dare flinch but the response took her off guard. What in the world was Nadine talking about? She thought about the conversation that they had last night. Nadine hadn't been able to explain why she put herself between Elizabeth and Cole Smith. Elizabeth had not pushed it; she had been too busy making sure that Nadine knew that the family was grateful that she did it. Nadine couldn't possibly feel like she owed Elizabeth anything much less her well-being or her life. Why would she have answered the President that way? Meanwhile, Henry had caught the subtle tensing of his wife's shoulder's when Nadine had answered Conrad. The way Nadine had answered set something off in her, set her on edge. Henry knew that there was a lot of things that went unsaid between Nadine and Elizabeth and in the last few days Elizabeth had been trying hard to get to know her chief of staff better. He wondered if there was more understanding on Nadine's part about Elizabeth than there was in the opposite direction. Nadine was a quiet and private person, but she was loyal and devoted even before this all started. He wondered if there was something in the unsaid and undone that made Nadine feel more loyal and devoted than either he or his wife had realized before.

"We were read in about the extent of your injuries," Russell continued. "Sounds like you were really lucky. Glad to know it."

"Thanks Russell," Nadine frowned and sat up straight. "Yes, seems like he might have succeeded in killing me if it weren't for Matt and the doctors."

Russell turned his attention the quiet and fidgety speech writer. "Mr. Mahoney, you should indeed be commended for your childlike antics."

"Really Russel," Elizabeth sighed. "You can't just say good work like Conrad or any other normal person."

"That's not really my style," he eyed her with an incredulous smile.

"Not to worry ma'am," Matt sighed. "If Russell did act that way, we all might think that he had a soul," Matt winked at her and swigged his whiskey.

"Solid burn," Jason commented much to the chagrin of his parents and the amusement of Nadine and the President.

"Still can't believe that I lost a fifty-dollar bet about you being afraid of needles," Daisy tried to move the conversation on. "You're afraid of everything."

"Am not," Matt countered. "Of course, you really are horrible at gambling. You always lose the bet."

"He does have a point. By the way, thanks for paying for Abby and I to have our dinner date this month. I really do appreciate it."

"Don't worry Daisy," Nadine joined in. "When they told me that some crazy man insisted on donating two pints of blood, my money was not on Matt either."

"Really," Henry smiled. "Crazy man didn't give it away on the spot?"

"Well," Nadine grinned. "I was still a bit short on blood and sedated. I really wasn't thinking too clearly I suppose."

"Har, har," Matt mocked.

"This is why you don't do nice things for people dude," Jason patted him on the shoulder as he moved toward the kitchen. "You get nothing but ridicule."

"Says the boy who got expelled for punching some little snob in the face for calling me a liar," Elizabeth tussled his hair as he moved past her.

"See what I mean," he looked back at Matt. "Also, while I dispute that you're a liar, it did also provide a convenient excuse to get out of going to the snobbery factory every day."

"Got to hand it to you Bess," Russell took such joy in Jason's attitude. "That kid of yours has the makings of an amazing politician."

Henry chuckled. "I am pretty sure that you would hate the policies he would enact there Russell."

"That may be," Russell sighed happily. "But not as much as the two of you would hate him being in the life."

"So Roman," Conrad felt the need to change the subject entirely. "Tell me, what do you do?"

"Well, Mr. President," Roman was still getting over his surprise that he was actually sitting in the presence of the leader of the free world. "Shindy and I are moving to Virginia where I got a job in a sound effects studio. I will be working as a sound engineer."

"Really," the President was clearly intrigued. "That is very interesting. Where were you before."

Roman glanced at Shindy. "We were living in Myanmar where I was in a band and working part time as a music producer for one of the privately-owned media companies in the country."

"Myanmar," he smiled. "And is that where you and Shindy met?"

"It is," Roman smiled. "We have been together a little over eight months now."

"Seven months," Shindy smiled. "Not that it really matters."

"Actually," Nadine continued. "Shindy and Roman told me when they flew in that I am going to be a grandmother."

"Really," Conrad beamed. "That is wonderful news. Congratulations."

"Thank you sir," Roman smiled.

"This is great, congrats," Jay was beaming too. "Babies are the best."

"Yes," Roman smiled at the policy man. "Good thing that mom will be around to help us through all that stuff you were talking about earlier."

"It's true," Jay smiled. "There is so much that no one tells you, but it's still great."

As the guests chatted away Henry pulled Elizabeth to the side. "I think that things are going great Babe. Nadine seems like she is having a great time."

"Yeah," Elizabeth looked over his shoulder at Nadine and smiled. "I am glad that we did this."

"Me too," he hugged her gently. "You doing ok?"

"I've got to get him Henry?"

"Get who?"

"Whoever put Cole Smith up to it," she shook her head and then laid it on his shoulder. "I have to get whoever is responsible for this."

"You will," Henry smiled and kissed her hair. "It may take time, but you will."

There was eating, drinking, and merriment all the way around. Nadine almost forgot more than once that she was injured and she genuinely enjoyed herself more than she had in a longer time than she could remember. She loved that Roman seemed to get along with her coworkers and Shindy was doing well. She felt like all these people were meshing together. They all seemed to feel like they were more important to one another today than they had been last week. One by one, the guests filed out. The kids made their way up to bed and soon Roman and Shindy were excusing themselves too. Roman kissed Nadine's cheek and then sweetly escorted Shindy up the steps and off to bed. Now it was just Henry, Elizabeth, and Nadine.

"Did you have a good time," Elizabeth asked as she sipped her wine.

"I really did," Nadine nodded. "Thanks again for having everyone in."

"Our pleasure," Henry smiled. "If you ladies are ok for a few minutes, I will go clean up the rest of the stuff in the kitchen."

"I can help with that," Elizabeth made a move to push herself out of her chair.

"No, no," Henry put a firm hand on her shoulder. "Enjoy your wine and chat with Nadine. I got this Babe," he leaned over and kissed her cheek before taking his leave.

Elizabeth smiled after him. "He's a good one," she mused.

"That he is," Nadine smiled too. "The two of you go very well together."

"Thanks," Elizabeth smiled suddenly feeling self-conscious for some reason that she couldn't explain. "I really hope that my girls find something like we have or even better. Jason too," she added quickly.

"I know what you mean," Nadine nodded. "It does seem, anyway, that it is harder for girls to find a Henry than it is for boys to find an Elizabeth."

Elizabeth chuckled and blushed. "I don't know that Jason needs an Elizabeth. That might make him crazy."

"Oh I don't know," Nadine shrugged. "Isn't that what people want in life. Someone who is so obviously wonderful but still manages to make them feel tongue tied and like they are losing control?"

"Maybe," Elizabeth answered thoughtfully. "Is that what you are looking for?"

Nadine was still smiling but her eyes suddenly filled with something that Elizabeth didn't recognize. It wasn't really sadness. It wasn't anger. "Oh," she sighed. "I don't know. I think I keep looking for something that doesn't exist."

"What do you mean," the words were out before Elizabeth could stop herself. "Sorry," she lowered her eyes to inspect the inside of her wine glass. "You really don't have to answer that."

"It's ok," Nadine chuckled. "I really just mean that I start dating men, build it up in my head, and that's not how it turns out. They don't live up to my expectations, I don't live up to theirs. Sometimes I find that we have each built up different things. Take Glenn for example, he built up some image of straight-laced Suzie Homemaker, that's not me. I built up Neil Armstrong in a tuxedo and that wasn't him."

"I think I see what you mean," Elizabeth nodded. "But I do think everyone does that a little bit. I mean, I sort of thought I was going to be dating Richard Gere from an Officer and a Gentleman," she nodded toward the kitchen. "But as Henry likes to say, that's not even the right branch of the service," she laughed.

"What do I say," Henry reappeared and handed Nadine a glass of single malt.

"Thanks," she sipped it slowly. "That you weren't in the Navy."

"Oh," he raised his eyebrows and looked at his wife. "I do look better than Richard Gere too."

"Oh really," Elizabeth eyed him playfully. "Then, I suppose that I also look better than Agent 99?"

"Obviously," he pecked her cheek and sat down on the sofa.

"Sounds like what you built up was a lot closer to what you ended up with," Nadine smiled. "I mean, you did get a soldier and he did get a spy."

"Ah," Elizabeth nodded. "I suppose that is true enough. I'll be right back, I am going to get another glass of wine."

"What is it you didn't get," Henry asked when Elizabeth walked away.

"Hmm," Nadine smiled and sipped her scotch again. "In my lifetime, lots of things. I didn't get a Supreme Court justice, Louis Pasture, Neil Armstrong," she lowered her gaze to her shoes. "I didn't get a concert worthy violinist or a Secretary of State either."

"Well," Henry smiled. "I'm sure someone better will come along. Of course, any of those guys would be lucky to have you."

"Thanks Henry," she glanced up at him. "The truth is though, I'm not sure that they would."

"We're out of merlot," Elizabeth sighed and plopped back down in her chair empty-handed.

"For shame," Henry chuckled. "How in the world did that happen."

"Very funny," she huffed back. "Of course, that probably does imply that I've had enough for tonight."

"It was a lovely party," Nadine yawned. "I suppose I really should turn in too," she sighed as she finished her drink.

"I'll take that," Elizabeth held out her hand for Nadine's glass. I will come up and give you a hand in one minute."

"Thanks," Nadine nodded and took the arm that Henry offered to help pull her from her chair.

"Ready," Henry asked as they positioned themselves at the bottom of the stairs.

Nadine took one more deep breath. "Let's do it," she smiled.


	24. Chapter 24

"Nadine," Elizabeth started as she was helping Nadine change into a tank top to sleep in.

"Yes," Nadine glanced over her shoulder at her boss.

"I don't really want to push this or step over any lines or anything," Elizabeth prefaced. "I was just wondering about something that you said earlier."

"Glenn and I broke up months ago," Nadine said. "It was my decision."

'Oh," Elizabeth frowned. "No, something else."

"Oh," Nadine frowned on realizing that she had misread the other woman. "What was it?"

"You told Conrad that you felt like it was the least that you could do," Elizabeth answered quietly. "I guess I just didn't understand."

"Ah," Nadine gave a brief nod and turned to face her boss now that she was covered again. "Back to that then."

"I just want to understand," Elizabeth nodded. "But I get it if you're not ready to talk about it or," she paused as she searched for the words. "can't talk about it I guess."

"It's nothing like that," Nadine smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed, beckoning Elizabeth to join her. "I meant what I said last night. I mean, it's sort of hard to explain so you'll have to bear with me a little bit."

"I've got all night," Elizabeth quipped.

"I think it's the feeling I have that my coworkers are like a little family," Nadine exhaled slowly. "Office mom title notwithstanding."

"I don't understand," Elizabeth answered in an attempt to prod Nadine to keep talking this thing out.

"Well," she looked up at the woman. "I told you about my parents and my sister. You know that Roman's father and I were not together long. Roman and I were estranged for a decade. I've been with Jay the longest. We were together the whole six years that I was with Vincent and even a little longer. I mean, it's not like I just hoped into bed with Vincent the minute he hired me," she visibly stiffened.

"I never thought that you did," Bess assured her.

"Now you've had the job for two years so I guess that means that Jay and I have been together nearly nine years now. Matt and Daisy have been around at least five. Anyway, they are some of the longest relationships I have had with people. I care about them a lot. I think that my parents and my sister and the whole being disowned and hated thing might really have worked on my ability to have normal relationships. I mean, when Roman was young, I didn't date much. I didn't want a revolving door of men through the place with him there. I didn't want him to think that was normal or even ok. When he was older there were a couple men, but nothing ever serious. Then we were estranged and there was Vincent. I thought that was it, that was love, that was going to be my safe place. He was going to be the man that finally made me better."

"I'm sorry Nadine," Elizabeth shook her head as she saw the tears forming in the corners of Nadine's eyes.

"But he was never going to be that, even if he had lived. He would never have really been that for me. It was broken from the beginning," she shook her head. "The others, they are all young, not much older than Roman. They are like my kids, I have thought of them like that. When Jay was tearing his hair out when Chloe was born, my heart hurt and I tried desperately to let him know I was there. I mean he was grateful for the help but it made me remember how much I wanted to be there for Roman at a time like that and then I didn't know if I would get that chance. When Daisy came to me worry about whether she would ever find the right man or have her own babies, my heart ached for her. It made me painfully aware of my own failures as a person, a woman, and a mother, but I wanted to make it better for her. When I watched Matt fall apart about fear over a dirty bomb near his apartment, I wanted so much to hold him and rock him the way I did when Roman had nightmares. It didn't matter that I was terrified myself that night, just like it never used to matter when I was afraid of something when Roman was young. Then when he was upset that he couldn't do something to make his mother proud of him for being proud of his heritage, I was again aware just how badly I failed at being a good mom." The tears started to spill from Nadine's eyes slowly and she tried to wipe them away.

"Nadine," Elizabeth touched her arm gently. "We don't have to do this."

"No," Nadine shook her head. "I am getting there." She grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes. "When you came into this job, I didn't think I was going to get along with you. In fact, I didn't think that you would keep me on and even if you were willing, I was going to quit. I didn't think I could stay after I lost Vincent. I was in a really dark place of my own and I couldn't say anything to anyone, I didn't have anyone to go to with my problems and I was angry. I was angry at you for taking Vincent's place. I was angry at him for dying. I was angry at myself for letting someone in, because until Vincent I hadn't allowed myself to get close to anyone because of my family and Roman's dad and Roman too. Even though I liked the others, I never thought that I really cared about their personal stuff or that they would care about mine. But then, one day I just lost it. I lost my cool, I flipped on Matt, then Blake, and then you. I was sure you were going to fire me that night."

Elizabeth searched her memory. "The night you told me about you and Marsh?"

Nadine nodded. "I thought you would fire me when you came to my office after I lashed out. I was hoping you would, because I had been trying to get up the nerve to quit for a week. I was so angry about everything. But instead, you recognized that I was upset and you asked me about it. Then when I doubled down on not calling his wife, you made me realize that you really hadn't come there; to the job, to my office, to this town with any preconceived notions about anything. I tried not to tell you but I just felt safe talking to you and the whole story just fell out of my mouth. I felt like some weight was lifted the minute it happened. But then I felt sure. Sure you would judge me, fire me, at the very least you would never be able to trust me."

"I don't even remember what I said," Elizabeth shook her head. "Because you really did shock me that night."

"I tried to defend myself, I said I knew how it sounded. And you," Nadine took a sharp deep breath and shook her head. "You said, it sounded like my heart was broken. And it was. But you didn't fire me, you didn't insist that I call his wife, you didn't make me go back into that conference room and apologize to the staff. You didn't make me go back to the conference room at all. You closed the blinds in my office, put your hand on my shoulder, and told me not to worry. You said you were sorry for my loss, sorry that you upset me. You told me to take the time I needed and you left me there. You were genuinely nice to me and, in that moment, I believed that you cared, really cared." Nadine wiped her eyes again as more tears slid down her cheeks.

Elizabeth grabbed her hand. "I did care Nadine. I mean, I did then, but I still do now."

"I know," Nadine nodded. "I suppose that's the point. You care, you care about me." She watched as confusion flickered in the Secretary's eyes again. "I don't know when the last time another person actually cared about me was before that. Not the way that you did. You were sensitive about the fact that I was heartbroken over Marsh."

"With a few notable exceptions," Elizabeth grimaced.

"Well," Nadine chuckled as her tears continued to fall. "But then, you treated me well. You didn't out me to the staff. Even when we went to Venezuela and the President threatened to arrest me. You made me believe that you wouldn't let it happen. You told me that we were in it together. When you did tell the staff that Marsh was murdered you promised us all that you would get justice for him, but you looked me squarely in the eye and I knew that it was more for my benefit than theirs. But more than that, you meant it. It's not just that you care, it is that you mean it. When things looked like they were going to fall apart in Myanmar last month, you were ready to throw in the towel. You said we were going to go home without the signed agreement. And when I apologized, you said that it wasn't a waste because I got to see Roman. You didn't even know how bad things were but you still managed to care that I had seen my son. When I got stabbed, you still cared. You held pressure in the car, you refused to leave the hospital, you sat with me while I slept. I mean, my lord, you've put me up, you got my son and his fiancé here."

"Nadine," Elizabeth shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I still don't understand."

"You care about me," Nadine said again. "You have since the beginning and you care about me more than most anyone in my life ever has because you are a good and decent person. You cared even though you knew I was no fan of yours when you started out. You cared without strings attached or preconditions. You have done more for me than you could ever imagine just by being the person you are. I couldn't let some lunatic hurt you, I couldn't stand by and watch someone try to kill you. I had to do whatever I could to make sure that you were ok. I had to because that is what you always did for me, what you're still doing for me. And, I mean, I guess because somewhere along the line, I started to care about you too and what happens to you." The tears were spilling faster now and Nadine was trying her best to keep her breathing under control.

Elizabeth felt her own tears starting to fall as she gently moved closer to Nadine and pulled her into an embrace. "Nadine, I had no idea. I didn't realize any of this. I am so sorry Nadine."

Nadine gently pulled away. "What are you talking about? There is no reason to be sorry."

"There is," Elizabeth shook her head. "I didn't realize that you didn't have anyone. I could have done more." She sighed and watched as her words sunk in. "Nadine," she started again quietly. "When you were in the hospital, I felt like such a horrible excuse for a boss and a friend. I was telling Blake to get in touch with Roman and your sister, Rachel. I realized I didn't even know what your sister's name was then or where she lived. I realized that I know so little about your life and you. That's not a very decent friend and I rely on you for so much because the office is a huge part of my life. Then the first day that you were here and you and I had lunch, I told Henry that you had an interesting story buried somewhere. He said he was glad that I was trying to get to know you because when he went to your apartment, he got the impression that you really didn't spend much time there or have friends over."

Nadine smiled. "I don't. I mean, I have friends and on rare occasions they do come to my apartment, but they aren't close. Mostly, none of us have the time. I mean, I play poker with a bunch of people who work on Capitol Hill but even that isn't what either one of us means."

Elizabeth wiped her eyes and looked at Nadine with surprise. "You play poker?"

"Sure," Nadine shrugged. "There are a bunch of us, we play once a month. I am inevitably there until the very end or playing hostess whenever there is a diplomatic crisis about to happen. It makes it hard to keep up sometimes."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, we start early on a Saturday morning and it usually lasts until early Sunday morning. Like I said, there are a lot of us."

"This is what I mean," Elizabeth sighed and lowered her eyes. "I would have never guessed that you played poker, liked poker, were even a decent gambler. There is so much that I don't know about you."

"See," Nadine smiled. "You are still proving what a decent human being and good friend you are because you still want to know me better."

Elizabeth looked up sharply. "Nadine, what do you say we work on being better friends?"

"How?"

"Well, we have the time that you are still here. But after that, we should have a regular thing. Drinks, dinner, something."

Nadine looked at her boss thoughtfully. "I'm game to try."

"Good," Elizabeth flashed her a satisfied smile. "I'll let you rest, you have an appointment with your doctor tomorrow at eleven."

"I am supposed to be in charge of the schedule," Nadine winked at her. "But you're right, I do."

Elizabeth walked to the door. When she turned to close it, she stopped momentarily and watched as Nadine slid beneath the blankets and carefully placed her left arm up on a pillow next to her. She closed the door quietly and took another moment to think over what Nadine had told her. They were both damaged by their pasts to be sure. She wondered what might have happened if she had fired Nadine when she took the job or if Nadine had managed to put in her resignation. She wondered if she would have spiraled into a deep depression. She wondered how on earth she would have made it this long in her job without Nadine to help her navigate the pitfalls of politics. She realized that Nadine was routinely throwing herself between Elizabeth and some impending threat or disaster, it was just usually political. She was deflecting irate congressman and ambassadors. She was managing Russell's tantrums when Elizabeth had too much on her plate. She had waited as long as she could to call when Elizabeth and Henry had gone away for their anniversary and there were problems with the Ochoa extradition. She successfully put herself in front of everything when Henry's dad died so that Elizabeth could get away and be with the family in Pittsburgh for almost five days. She was trying to be there for Elizabeth more than Elizabeth had ever realized before just now. Elizabeth shook her head and walked to her own bedroom, she had missed so much.

"Hey," Henry was sitting on the bed reading. "How's Nadine?"

Elizabeth walked to the vanity and grabbed her pajamas. "She is a really amazing and lonely person," Elizabeth wiped her eyes again.

"Oh," Henry pressed.

"She likes me Henry," Elizabeth moved around toward the bathroom. "She thinks that I am a nice person and she said I did so much for her."

"Like what," Henry was confused. "I mean, what do you mean?"

"You know she was going to quit when I got this job? She didn't think she could stay after Marsh."

"Well, I mean that was a long time to be with somebody Babe. She had to work through a lot of stuff and it doesn't help that you sprung on her that he was murdered and," Henry paused and looked toward the door. "and that he was a traitor."

Elizabeth shook her head. "She decided to stay the night she told me that she and Marsh were together. She said that when I didn't judge her for being with him and when I didn't ridicule her, she felt safe with me. She felt like I cared about her."

"You do," Henry answered.

"I know," Elizabeth nodded. "But I didn't realize that she didn't feel like anyone else did. You were right," she breathed in sharply. "She doesn't have anyone. She needed someone." Elizabeth went into the bathroom and pushed the door nearly closed.

"Well Babe," Henry was not surprised by the news that Nadine felt like Elizabeth cared for her. Elizabeth DID care for her and given how things seemed to go for Nadine that probably held a lot of weight. "It's not really that surprising, is it?"

Elizabeth emerged from the bathroom and crawled into the bed next to him. "No," she answered quietly as she laid her head on his lap. "But now I know. I need to do better Henry. I told her we needed to be better friends and I need to make sure that I see that through, no matter what happens with the VP thing. I would go crazy without you and the kids to be there when I need someone. I want to be that for Nadine. Everyone needs someone right?"

"Yeah," Henry gently pet her hair. "Can I ask you about something else?"

"What," she sat up again and made eye contact.

"Were you listening when she was saying about what she didn't get out of her relationships? You know, when you were looking for Merlot."

"Yes," Elizabeth confessed. "What about it?"

"Who do you think the Supreme Court justice was," Henry smiled.

Elizabeth chuckled and punched his arm playfully. "I don't know," she shook her head. "Probably some brilliant government lawyer who never made it out of the first-floor office pool at the justice department."

"I guess," Henry shook his head. "But tell me something else," he tossed his book on his nightstand and shut off the bedside lamp before they both snuggled down under the covers together facing one another.

"What," Elizabeth asked.

"Are you still happy with the soldier you got?"

"Hmm," she made a show of mulling over the question. "Well, you are better looking and the black dress uniform definitely suited you better than the white would have."

"All important factors in making your decision," he teased.

"Not really," Elizabeth smiled. "I got way more than I bargained for. Of course I'm happy with you." She gently kissed his lips. "And what about you, hmm? Is the sexy and multitalented Dr. McCord still happy with the spy he got?"

"Mmmm," Henry kissed her back. "Are you kidding me Babe. I went from Agent 99 to Madam Sexytary in a flash. What's not to be absolutely crazy about?"


	25. Chapter 25

"Ma'am," Blake got Elizabeth's attention from some papers she was working on at her desk.

"What is it Blake," she asked when she looked up.

"Ms. Tolliver is calling, she said you made her promise to call after her appointment."

"Thanks Blake," Elizabeth picked up the phone as Blake turned to go. "Hey Nadine," she smiled. "How did it go?"

"It went well," Nadine sounded tired. "I am still not allowed to do the steps. He said probably another three days minimum on that. He sent me to the hospital for a scan to check my lung and said that it is healed. I am still not allowed to lift anything with my left arm but I am allowed to raise it over my head. So, I'm still on track I suppose."

"That's great Nadine," Elizabeth answered. "What else are you doing today?"

"Well the doctor told me that I needed to start physical therapy and he recommended a place so I am going to go there and get the paper work filled out and some kind of schedule. The doctor was pleased with my range of motion already and said I will probably only need to go once or twice a week for a month or six weeks."

"Even better," Elizabeth was genuinely thrilled at the news. "Can't keep a good woman down, that's for sure."

"Thanks," Nadine chuckled. "Anyway, I also wanted to tell you that the doctor told me I could come back to work once I am clear to take the stairs on my own."

"That's great Nadine. If you are feeling ready to come back then you will absolutely be welcome. We will figure it out."

"Thank you Elizabeth. Talk to you tonight?"

"Of course, bye," Elizabeth hung up the phone. She was thrilled that Nadine was coming along so well. She glanced down at the schedule on her desk and frowned. Russell was sending some political campaign person over to prep her for her appearances before Dalton announced her as his candidate for vice president; Jessica somebody. Oh, Nadine was going to love this when she got back. Well, until Nadine was back, Elizabeth decided that she would keep it under her hat. Her first appearance wasn't until some fair in Virginia at the end of April, so there would be plenty of time to read the staff in about this once things were back to normal. Nadine needed to get as much relaxation in as she could while she could. The next few months were going to busy and brutal with the investigation and then there would be the added bonus of schlepping around for this campaign. She needed Nadine at her best and she was anxious to have her back to work. "We'll get through it," she said to herself. "We always do."

THE END!


End file.
